PLEASE READ BEGINNING AND END NOTES!
Hello~! For those of you who do not know me, I am Crescent! I created this oneshot because I was really inspired by Maître Gims' "est-ce que tu m'aimes?" and it's official video, so I decided to use the situation in the video in the Detective Conan universe. I really really really hope you watch it before you read, just because it will help you understand the story ten times more and you'll catch a lot of references.
Warnings: I don't own Detective Conan or Magic Kaito (this is a fanfiction…), they belong to Gosho Aoyama! You may find some grammar and/or spelling mistakes. This fanfic contains YAOI/SLASH content (boyxboy)- no like, no read! This chapter is a little long, and may seem even more so like that because the POVs switch around every few paragraphs. Heiji's accent is typed into his POV, so have fun reading that. AND THE PAIRINGS FLIP AROUND A LOT.
Thanks~
To my darling soulmate;
One chapter can be a whole book.
Est-ce que tu m'aimes?
Kuroba Kaito's POV
I found his smile when I reached the end of the tunnel. It was a brief moment; the type just barely experienced out of the corner of your eye, but it had caused something inside to flicker to life. A feeling I hadn't felt in a very long time, had suddenly decided to pay a visit. I had the pleasure of dating Hakuba Saguru then, one of the world's sharpest deductive minds in all of human history. Our relationship was complicit- an act questioned by all around us. It was a complex rollercoaster of raw emotion thrown into a whirlwind.
In our younger days, the relationship had been much smoother, perhaps because we had cared for one another while looking at the world with rose tinted glasses. However, just around the time we graduated high school and I found Pandora, something changed. I hadn't understood what had happened until we both graduated from college some years later:
We were adults.
The relationship we had maintained during our carefree student days had taken an ugly turn into the world of adulthood. Perhaps it was just when I had finally taken down the Ravens and recovered Pandora that I realized our relationship had changed completely. I had been shot, critically wounded, in the battle and was rushed to the hospital. Despite this, Saguru's work in the police department had seemed to grow in importance until it had matched my own worth to him, and he did not rush to my side. Not until his office let him go, at least. Yet in my blindness, in my love for Hakuba Saguru, I had been led to believe that he shouldn't have even tried to come out from work to see my pathetic state.
Without either of us noticing or seeing it, our complicit relationship and the world of adulthood had changed who we were.
I had been prepared to burn his image in black ink under my eyelids, just to see him even in eternal sleep. That was my illness.
Hakuba Saguru's POV
Sociologist Robert F. Winch proposed the "opposites attract" theory concerning human relationships, which was conversely set against Plato's first law of affinity "likes attract". He stated that people were attracted to others who had oppositely matched demands compared to his or her own.
The relationship Kuroba Kaito and I shared was full of deep passion, brought on by the romantic mystery behind Kaitou KID and the half-British half-Japanese detective. Now, I wonder, had it possibly been out of sheer attraction towards opposites and a desire to understand someone that thought completely differently than you did that had begun this complex relationship?
In the beginning, our relationship had been an honest blast. Kaito and I had complimented each others' lives so well, as if we were a well-oiled pocket watch, shiny and brand new. Depending on the situation and the roles we had to play, we were able to change gears back and forth between personas and lies to others seamlessly.
Somewhere along the way, a gear broke and the one-of-a-kind oil on the one-of-a-kind pocket watch had rusted.
College had brought a new gear into our lives, one that was switched out with the high school gear. I graduated with my degree in Criminal Law and Kaito with his degree in Engineering. We agreed then, to rent out an apartment together. It had been less of a happy step forward in our relationship than a temporary convenience. Kaito used the apartment as a base of operations to step up in his magic act, as well as a home. I began to combine case files and sex under one roof.
Time passed, and rather than finding that Kaito and I lived together, I found that we lived around each other. We used each other.
Kaito and I were now two separate watches, simply placed very close together.
Kudo Shinichi's POV
It was once said that sometimes, when the door to one adventure closes, it is just the beginning of another.
When my "door of adventure" had closed with Ran, it had been surprisingly ordinary, unlike anything else in my life. One day, the girl had just up and decided to date other people without telling my true self. The girl had left her "little brother" at home with her father with simple instructions about what to do for dinner and left. That was it. No heart wrenching speech, no sappy music, and no tear jerking goodbye. That wasn't to say there hadn't been tears on my end, and there had been many, but when Ran walked out that door, it was deafeningly silent.
I fell into a silent world of shock.
Depression did not find me until Ran one day sat her father down for a very serious discussion. When she had announced that she was going to accept the love confession from Hondou Eisuke, who had returned for a short while from America, we wondered if she was pulling a fast one on us. Surprisingly, Mouri had been upset, having had always assumed that Ran was going to wind up with myself, just like all the others.
Just like me.
But that was Ran; always proving us wrong. Always stepping out of the reach of my logic.
Ran and Mouri discussed the topic for a long time that fateful evening (ah, that was a little too poetic. I said it was ordinary.) A few hours at least. In the end, Mouri had given in to his daughter's feelings and desires, but only if she also told her mother. Perhaps there had been some sort of hope that she would stop Ran, but Ran and I had known from the moment he had uttered the sentence that it was a lost cause.
And depression sighed softly as it wrapped its arms around my shoulders and leaned its head against my own. It whispered in my ear, "I finally found you."
Difficult months followed. As a seven year old child, I could not escape my guardians. Haibara began working furiously toward a cure for APTX 4869, if only to give me a way to escape from what had become my personal hell. Hattori Heiji had been my best friend and consolation… and having just lost Toyama Kazuha-san himself, I found him to be the only one who truly understood my loss out of the people around me.
Perhaps that was what had started it all.
Longing was a dangerous emotion. This was a lesson I learned only just recently. I longed for the love I had imagined with Ran, and Heiji longed for the love with Kazuha.
Rebounds.
That was the only way to describe it. Overall, it had been a rather horrifying turn of events. Two men, one ready to experience his last year of high school before stepping out into the world, and the other ready to take a dangerous, life threatening, but the only method possible, antidote that would cure him before both discover they are gay for each other. Despite how soon it had been after our recent breakups, neither of us questioned the sincerity of our emotions.
I took the antidote, and somewhere in my pain, I had fallen into a deep abyss, Death's cradle, and kissed his cheek before I saw the light at the end of the tunnel.
Edogawa Conan, at that point, had said his goodbyes to the world and returned to living in the dark corners of the back of my mind.
I transferred out of Teito High and over to the high school one province over- Edoka. My reasons were simple; Teito did not have any methods available for me to catch up with my grade besides cram school, which I had no time for, considering my work. I didn't even go and say goodbye to my classmates. It had been over a year since they last saw me, and the magic spell of fascination and adoration cast by the name "Kudo Shinichi" had worn off. People had been curious about the Black Organization I had taken down, but I lied low anyway, because a small branch of the tree still lived.
Edoka offered me irregular school hours in order to catch up and graduate in time when I explained my situation, which had been a godsend.
Soon after I regained my body, Heiji confessed and I agreed to go out with him. It hadn't been anything special, since we were both tired and weary of love's rituals. Heiji looked me in the eye one night as we relaxed on my couch in my parents' house.
As an FBI movie played in the background, he said, "Kudo, I like ya. Go out with me?"
"Okay, Hattori." I replied softly and languidly.
There had been wild sex and passionate feelings. When we both entered college to study for our work, we rented out an apartment together rather than dorm. We hadn't been too public about our relationship. We sort of closed out others and kept to ourselves.
Neither of us knew, however, that at one point, we had closed each other out as well.
In college, I gained clues to the last living branch of the organization. To my surprise, I discovered it was the branch behind Kaito KID's purpose and legacy. He and I worked together often, yet spoke to each other with an odd sense of coldness I had never experienced with others. KID did not know that Conan and I were one and the same. He saw Kudo Shinichi as a threat, and not the friendly rival Conan Edogawa had been to him.
I felt another loss then, because I knew he would never see Edogawa Conan again.
Rather than burden his mind with my issues on top of the mess of the Black Organization, I spoke to him as coldly as he did to me and did not tell him who Edogawa Conan was or where he had gone. I had resolved to tell the truth after the business was over, but neither I nor the rest of the world ever saw the Magician of the Moonlight again.
I spent month after month chasing that last tail end of the Organization, and disappeared from Heiji's sights until I knew that no member would attempt to snipe me through our bedroom window, therefore putting him in harm's way.
When I returned to that apartment nearly nine months later, I was no longer the man I believed myself to be, neither the man Heiji had remembered me as.
They said that time apart makes the heart grow fonder, not falter.
Hattori Heiji's POV
I had always believed dat Osaka, Toyama Kazuha, 'n' okonomiyaki were da best creations on da planet. Despite dhis, I went to a college in Tokyo, broke up wit' Kazuha, 'n' found out dat my favorite food was really chocolate mint, which had been da flavor I tasted whenever I kissed Shinichi.
I had honestly believed dat all of da decisions I had made over da course of time I spent as Kudo's lover were correct. When I saw da smile at da end of da tunnel, it was as if da lash had lifted 'n' I understood.
Da love 'tween Kudo 'n' I was dark, as if we were da only two people in da world, trapped in a dark room wit' da curtains drawn, yet neither of us wanted ta leave. We didn't wanna leave 'cause we had each other.
Kudo 'n' I got into a huge fight da day after he came back from his nine month manhunt fer da Organization. Fer some reason, I jus' blew up on 'im. I was so lonely, so sad, but no one understood. When he came back, I was jus' so angry at 'im fer puttin' me through all dat.
I never even thought of breakin' up wit' 'im. We were jus' so used to livin' wit' each other and bein' in each other's lives dat I don't think either of us even had da thought.
But jus' when I was ready to burn his image in black ink under my eyelids, just when I thought I already knew what love was, I saw da rain.
We started to reject each other's company. Kudo 'n' I barely spent time together anymore. I worked at da office all da time, and he had irregular hours, as well as a criminal law class to teach. Kudo started ta reject ma touch, at one point, 'n' that's when I think I understood dat somethin' was jus' very wrong.
But I was sorry. I didn't want to let Kudo 'n' I live dat way anymore, so I asked 'im out on a date to make up.
When I saw those eyes at da end of da tunnel, everythin' changed.
Kuroba Kaito's POV
I woke up one night from a nightmare where Hakuba and I broke up due to a huge fight. I was upset and clutched at my chest, as if the motion would somehow slow my heartbeat back down to a normal pace. Suddenly, I felt that my face was frozen in an awkward position, considering the situation.
I was smiling.
I didn't understand myself. It wasn't as if I was a masochist. Why did something that seemed to be so horrifying bring a smile to my face? There was only one logical explanation I could come up with: it wasn't horrifying at all. Somewhere in the depths of my subconsciousness, I did not find breaking up with Saguru horrifying, which had been horrifying itself.
I did not sleep for the rest of the night. I was forced to think circles around myself with the same repeating thoughts. Break up with Saguru? No! That would make me so sad! Yeah, but you were smiling. Ok but, break up with Saguru?
I tossed aside my treacherous thoughts and started off that day by asking Saguru when he had his next day off. He responded with the weekend. I was satisfied and asked him if we could go out. I wanted to make sure of it for myself: whether or not Saguru and I still loved each other.
I saw his smile at the end of the tunnel, and I realized, that the rope I was holding onto in order to keep Saguru was crushing my hand. Sometimes, I realized, holding on hurts more than letting go.
That day, I suggested an art museum and a small lunch as a date. Saguru didn't seem particularly excited, but it didn't seem like he was unhappy either. We went to lunch first, at a small outdoor cafe. We ate and talked about recent happenings. Saguru told me about the man in his office that had a pregnant wife, and how he couldn't wait to take a small leave to be with her. I told him about my next magic show.
The conversation seemed to flow as easily as it always had, but I could tell that I didn't really have Saguru's attention as a lover should. Wondering, I gently dragged my foot up the side of his calf under the table, watching his expression.
Saguru seemed surprised, and then he sighed before removing his leg and backing his chair just a bit, as if rejecting my touch.
Disappointed and miffed, I turned my head away and watched as others passed us on the street.
Hakuba Saguru's POV
I had flinched away from Kaito's touch without really thinking about it. I was shocked at myself, for feeling a bit disturbed by Kaito, as well as tired of his antics.
I shook the thoughts out of my head before finishing and paying for lunch. We went to the art museum right after, one that was set on its own little hill above the streets of Tokyo. We climbed the stairs and entered the large stone gateways.
I saw sparkling emerald at the end of that tunnel, and I wondered where this new game would take us. This endless game of love.
Kudo Shinichi's POV
I didn't understand my own feelings anymore. I saw familiar violet at the end of the tunnel to the art museum I had been interested in and I wondered where I had seen them before.
Heiji and I had spent the day shopping a bit. We hit a few music and book stores, as well as shopped for new work clothing. I needed a few new suits and ties for my job as a local teacher. I taught a literature and criminal law class at the cram school for older students, and the new term was going to start soon. I also needed to get a new prescription for contacts, because I had just run out. For the next few days, however, I would be stuck with my old Conan glasses (but with real glass).
Heiji and I walked through the streets, and at one point, he held my hand. I remember thinking that holding Heiji's hand was one of the few things that resembled heaven on earth to me.
But I pulled away.
I was embarrassed. I thought that I was embarrassed because it was PDA, something I wasn't used to, but when I saw that familiar grin at the end of the tunnel, I knew that I was more embarrassed of myself for being with Heiji.
I knew that the rain had come.
Hattori Heiji's POV
It's really over, isn't it? I thought da second Kudo let go of my hand. When I saw his face, I knew it wasn't embarrassment fer us. It was embarrassment fer 'im.
When we passed by dat other couple in da tunnel, I wondered, briefly, if dey were as unhappy as we were. That's what I thought, before I looked into those garnet eyes of the blond man I hadn't seen in years. Hakuba Saguru, I thought in surprise. But I dismissed da thought, 'cause I didn't think d'ere was any way he had a boyfriend too. But my mind was stuck on da garnet eyes I felt like I could have stared into for da rest of my life.
We walked through da quiet museum. It wasn't busy at all. I wouldn't have been surprised if someone told us dat there was no one else d'ere.
At one point, we sat down at da bench facin' da wall covered in paintin's of da scenery of Osaka. I dunno how long I sat there, exactly. I jus' missed home. I missed my family 'n' my old friends that I had left behind.
I turned ta look at Shinichi 'n' tell him my thoughts, but I was met with familiar garnet eyes 'n' gold hair that had da breath stolen out of my lungs.
Kuroba Kaito's POV
Hakuba and I walked into the gallery full of paintings of flowers. Captivated, I sat down on the bench facing the wall and allowed myself to go back to those days where I gave a flower to everyone I ever met.
I sat there for a long time, just reminiscing. I remembered how Hakuba and I used to be in our fun relationship, and I felt upset at how things had turned out. I wanted things to go back to how they were.
With tears in my eyes, I turned to Hakuba to say my apologies, but the words died in my throat when I was met with familiar black frames and mature azure eyes.
"Tantei-kun?"
Hakuba Saguru's POV
I left Kaito in the flower room when he let go of my hand and sat down at the bench. I knew that look on his face. It told me that he wasn't going to leave that room for a long while, so I decided to see a few more rooms.
When I came around to the landscape exhibit, I became curious. I walked inside, already fascinated at how the artist had captured the varying architectural styles of famous buildings in Japan. One of the major differences between Britain and Japan was their architect, after all, and it had always been something I was fascinated by.
In one of the rooms displaying Osaka, a man with tanned skin and raven black skin sat staring at the paintings. I sat on the bench next to him, curious at what had captured his attention.
Various temples and historic buildings were displayed. I wondered what had him so interested. I turned to ask when I sensed him moving, but I realized too late that he had turned to face me.
Imagine my surprise when I was met with the aged emerald eyes of Hattori Heiji.
"Hattori Heiji-san?"
"Hakuba Saguru…?"
Kudo Shinichi's POV
I had honestly believed it was Heiji who was sitting next to me in the flower exhibit. I had been in deep thought, and that didn't change until I finally opened up, deciding to talk to him about our relationship. I didn't think we were good for each other anymore. I didn't think this, whatever it was, was healthy anymore.
But instead I was greeted by the familiar voice of Kaitou KID, familiar indigo eyes, and a mop of brown hair very much like my own.
"Tantei-kun?" He whispered in shock when his eyes met mine.
I knew he had accidentally let the question slip when his eyes widened in shock. He was poised to jump away from me.
Instead, I smiled bitterly and reached out to him, wiping away the small tears I saw tucked in the corner of his violet orbs. I didn't know why he was crying, but I knew that somewhere inside, I was crying too and I needed a friend.
"Hai…" I whispered brokenly. "It's been awhile, KID."
"B-But how? Or is it just that the Meitantei is playing a cruel joke on me to see if you've found out my real identity?" He replied, his tone getting more and more suspicious and snarky as he spoke.
"I don't even know your name," I laughed weakly. "No, I didn't come here hunting you down or anything. Conan and I were one and the same. A drug developed by the Organization for immortality hadn't been fully completed and was distributed as a poison. When I walked in on their illegal transaction one night, I was fed it. Rather than kill me, I was shrunk." I explained quickly. "I finally got to tell you…" I sighed, relieved, and put a hand to my chest.
From there on, I got to know Kuroba Kaito and Kaito KID. But just for a day. I didn't see him again after I left that art museum.
Hattori Heiji's POV
I spent da rest of dat art museum trip like I was on a date wit' Hakuba, not Kudo. Dat little piece of heaven frayed 'n' died though, when da day ended and I returned to that dark room wit' Kudo 'n' da drawn curtains.
I didn't see Hakuba again until Kudo 'n' I got into a small fight. We were both jus' tired and grumpy. I stormed outta da apartment 'n' headed fer any place in da city dat didn't remind me of Kudo.
Joggin', I hung 'round dat art museum's area 'n' got so wrapped up in my thought dat I crashed into someone and caused them to drop all their papers.
"Ah, I'm really sorry fer causin' ya so much trouble," I shook my head at myself and bowed before bendin' down and pickin' up the files. "Oh hey, you're a detective too? These look like some pretty difficult cases," I looked up then and realized that something was pushing us together, because I looked up into the eyes of Hakuba Saguru again.
That's when it all started.
Hakuba Saguru's POV
I knew I had the option of bowing and thanking Hattori-san before leaving. Before I could get sucked up into those sparkling emerald eyes and forget that I was already in a committed relationship.
But when I looked up and our hands touched to pick up the case file of the murder made to look like a suicide, I knew there was no going back. It was way too late, because I finally realized that I had been unconsciously calling out to him. That was why I took this detour from work every day since we met.
From there on, I met Heiji in the city often, especially after a bad day at home or work. He was so hotheaded, it was hilarious, and I couldn't help but feel that his presence was what I had been waiting for my entire life.
But that raised the question: If I wasn't as in love with Kaito as I had originally believed and I wasn't in love with Hattori yet, then who did I love?
Which one of them did I love?
Kudo Shinichi's POV
I crashed into Kaito on my morning jog in the middle of the street, and the gadgets he had in his hands tumbled to the ground.
I smiled to myself as he apologized profusely, probably not realizing who he had crashed into, but when his hands fell on mine to grab the next gadget and toss it into his bag, I felt the usual surprise and embarrassment that came from the unexpected contact. The smile on my face died and I looked up at him slowly, just as his head raised to look into my eyes.
After a still moment in the world, an unforgiving driver blew his horn and we scrambled off of the world, surprised looks on our faces. We looked at each other, then at the road, and then back at each other before laughter tumbled out of us. We laughed and laughed at each other and our corniness until I felt tears well up in my eyes.
At the same time, I felt relief, because I hadn't realized I would ever see this lovable person again.
And when I caught my own thoughts, I realized my world had spiraled out of control.
Kuroba Kaito's POV
This is dangerous, I thought as I laid my head on Shinichi's shoulder on our seventh date. Longing for love is dangerous. This could ruin everything.
But something much better could rise out of the ashes.
I still thought of Hakuba whenever Shinichi and I were together. A part of myself was still linked to him, and refused to detach until I properly broke up with him. But I wasn't sure if that was what I realy wanted. Did I really want to throw away everything I had built with Saguru for Shinichi?
The grass isn't always greener on the other side. I thought to myself bitterly. But I had been able to let go of Aoko and start a new life with Saguru. Yeah, but how often will you let yourself repeat that?
I understood, when I looked into Shinichi's eyes that night, that he felt the same conflictions as I did. I needed to hurry and make a decision, before I hurt anyone. Since I didn't want to hurt Shinichi and Saguru, I needed to find out who I loved.
But... who do I love?
Hattori Heiji's POV
I knew things weren't going to go as smoothly as I had hoped. Shinichi 'n' I seemed ta be fightin' much more often, 'n' then we would both run off 'cause we couldn't stand stayin' in da apartment.
I saw da rain wit' Kudo. I saw da rain of da world. Then I blinked 'n' we weren't the same. I blinked, 'n' he wasn't da same.
One night, I walked by a store on da way ta see Saguru again. A small charm caught my eye in da window 'n' I bought it fer 'im. It was just like one of those charms you bought at a temple. A small red bag on a string wit' a lucky/blessed item inside.
Hakuba seemed really happy 'n' smiled a lot when he opened his gift. I felt a sense of pride and happiness in my chest I hadn't felt in a long time.
He reached over and ruffled my hair, staring into my eyes when he saw the paper with what the charm was fer.
"Lucky, huh…" He murmured to himself, but I wasn't too sure where his mind had taken 'im.
Hakuba Saguru's POV
I hadn't been expecting Heiji to be so thoughtful and buy me a small token like this little charm. I rubbed the rough fabric and admired the stitch work before I read the paper tacked on.
"Luck." It read. My mind flashed back to Kaito, and how he had often spoken about the goddess of luck and love.
I knew, at that point, that my heart hadn't really let Kaito go, because I could hear his cocky voice in my mind, and I could see that mop of hair and grin.
I reached over and ruffled his hair out of sheer habit, because it was something I had always done with Kaito.
"Luck, huh…" I sighed.
The only way to prevent making Heiji and Kaito suffer was to continue to tell Kaito I loved him until I could figure something out. Until then, I would have to endure Kaito's nonsense and learn more bout Heiji.
But choosing between them…?
I've never suffered so much.
Kudo Shinichi's POV
Kaito presented me with a flower when we met for our tenth date.
I was flattered as he tucked the beautiful flower behind my ear with a grin, and I couldn't help but blush deeply and keep my eyes glued to the floor. He chuckled and tilted my chin back up to look at him again, and I couldn't help but get even redder.
Our date went well, as it usually did, and we had a lot of fun. I went back home that night, and Heiji was home earlier than usual.
"Hey, Heiji…" I sighed as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. He was sitting at a mirror.
"Hey…" He greeted back, looking up. He then stared at my image in the mirror.
"What is it?" I tilted my head.
"Nice flower." He chuckled, pointing at his temple. My eyes zipped across the mirror to the rose tucked behind my ears. "Where'd you get it?" He smiled.
I smiled back as my mind raced to find an excuse. "I walked past a flower shop doing advertising for their rose bouquets on my way back here. I guess I forgot to take the flower out of my hair," I laughed at myself a bit before removing it and twirling it around in my fingers. "I think I'll put it in some water…"
Heiji laughed a bit at me before we turned in for the night. "Goodnight, Shinichi. I love you."
I turned away and winced. "I love you too, Heiji. Goodnight."
I wondered, that since I was prepared to do everything for him but Kaito changed everything, did I really love him the way I had believed myself to?
And was being with Kaito this way any better?
When Heiji left the next morning for work on my day off, I listened to the door click shut. One day, perhaps, the door slamming or clicking shut like that will mean that we're over.
I wondered if I would be hurt from our break up. Would I be hurt if Kaito and I broke up now? I wasn't sure, but I knew that I would miss him.
I would miss him more than I ever have missed anything else in this world.
Kuroba Kaito's POV
A decision had to be made. I either had to choose Saguru or Shinichi, but how could I possibly do so? There was so much to consider. How could I even be sure that I loved Shinichi?
Shinichi made me feel unlike anyone else ever had. Did that say something in the romantic world? Yes. We got along like we were literally made for each other. I balanced him and vice versa. It was true that I had special feelings for him.
But since I apparently didn't know what love was, how could I know if what I was feeling for Shinichi was really love?
How does anyone know?
So much time had passed since we first met in that art museum. Perhaps the best thing to do was to start from the beginning with small steps until I understood myself. So much time had passed, yet it ha all gone too fast for me to understand.
I would have to go back to that place where it all started.
When Hakuba had his next day off, I asked if we could visit that museum together again. I wanted to know if anything else had changed between us, and to know how I felt for Shinichi.
He agreed easily.
Hattori Heiji's POV
I was supposed to love Shinichi, but I blinked when I saw da rain that he brought. I blinked 'n' we were no longer da same.
I was confused 'bout myself and Hakuba and Shinichi; everythin' was jus' spinnin' outta my control. I wondered who I loved. I couldn't sleep, 'n' food wasn't as appealing as I remembered it ta be.
I cried more.
I wasn't really da type ta cry from stress. I was much more confident than dat, but I couldn't understand myself anymore. I couldn't understand how I had gotten myself into such a big mess.
And when it finally hit that I was cheating on my boyfriends, I was doomed. I couldn't even face myself in da mirror, though I tried.
I was stressed 'n' I wanted to curl up in a ball 'n' just hide forever, but I also wanted company. I also wanted to stare in those garnet red eyes and feel dat golden hair in my fingers.
Eyes blotchy, I got up and made plans to see that museum again, because that was da place where Saguru 'n' I met up before dates.
Shinichi nodded his consent da next morning.
Hakuba Saguru's POV
Kaito was attached to my arm as we walked in that familiar tunnel that had started this entire mess. We had gone out to each again, as if we were repeating that fateful afternoon all over again.
And as if the world was on repeat, there were those emerald eyes and that smile at the end of the tunnel.
I wasn't sure I would survive what the world was throwing at me anymore.
Kudo Shinichi POV
I left Heiji to his own devices again, but the museum had changed exhibits again. Heiji seemed upset that the Osaka paintings were no longer showing.
I wondered if this was the world telling us that our time was up. That things were ending and decisions had to be made.
I sat down in the flower exhibit again. Kaito was next to me again.
"I don't know what to do."
"Me neither," He sighed.
"I don't know who I love." We said to each other.
I turned to him and smiled wearily. He mirrored me before speaking. "I thought it would be okay to fly with you, Shinichi, but I didn't see the glass ceiling above me."
"I thought it would be okay love you, but I am afraid you'll get bored of me if I love you your way." I replied.
"Are we doing this or not?" He stared intensely into my eyes and I stared back.
And we were locked there, in an endless trance.
Kuroba Kaito's POV
When the museum closed up, I got up from the bench and walked to the exhibit I knew Hakuba would be in. I didn't even give Hattori Heiji more than a glance before I held out my hand. I barely even stopped walking in time for Hakuba to get up.
Hakua looked Heiji in the eye before standing up and taking my hand. We walked out of that museum, never looking back.
And I'm almost 100 percent sure that Shinichi did the same.
Who do you love?
*wipes brow* I had so much trouble with switching around characters and such, but I'm so glad it's over. I still have some math homework to get to.
as always, please leave a review. Just because Kaito and Hakuba walked out of that museum together, it doesn't mean that he chose him. It could mean that Kaito is going to break up with Hakuba and go to Shinichi. But at the same time, maybe he really did choose Hakuba. I really love endings like that.
If you would like, I would love if you guys left reviews answering the questions in here. Like how you know when you're really in love with someone. And I don't mean any cliche answers. Give me the answer you had when you went through the experience. ;)
I hope you enjoyed~! If you would like to see more KaiShin (my main ship), go ahead and hit up my story "Hanakotoba, Poker Faces, and Disorder"!
See ya there~!
references (no this is not a works cited. omg never.):
"Est-ce que tu M'aimes?" by Maitre Gims.
"The Decoy Bride" movie quote: "To my wife, One chapter can be a whole book."
"Opposites Attract Theory" article on Wikipedia.
Yu-Gi-Oh! Second series anime, very last episode, second of last scene. "Well… sometimes the end of one adventure is just the start of another."
Puella Magi Madoka Magica Movie 3: Rebellion. "I was so lonely, so sad, but no one understood." -Homura Akemi.
~Crescent T.
