Harry Potter was having a great day. He had chocolate turtles for brunch. The chocolate turtles were sooo delicious. The turtles had screamed their heads off when Harry used a butcher knife to cut them up. Yum yum!

Then when he walked out of his dorm room, crowds of Harry Potter fans chased him (mostly girls) down the hall. Among the crowd of crazed fans, there was Professor Snape. He even wore a shirt that said,"I love Harry!"

"Harry!" called out Professor Snape, "Guess what! I'm too sexy for my shirt! Too sexy for my shirt!"

Harry then proceeded to scream like a frightened little girl who had just wet her pants. When he was running away from Snape, he ran into... Ron Weasley!

"I like chasing butterflys! Tee hee!" said Harry's drunk friend, Ron,"Please marry me!"

Harry then proceeded to scream like an old english nanny in need of a new adult daiper. When he was running away from Snape and Ron, he ran into... Professor McGonagall!

McGonagall stopped Harry dead in his tracks. Suddenly, McGonagall screeched and ran around the hallway like a flying purple monkey, when she saw the crowd coming after them. Together, they ran away from the crazed pack, facing danger and insanity.

"Harry," McGonagall yelled over the crowd,"If we ever die in this mess... I want you to know that... I HATED YOU EVER SINCE YOU'VE ARRIVED!" McGonagall then proceeded to throwing a fork at Harry and jumping out a nearby window.

"Man... that was BANANAS," Harry exclaimed, "I think I'll have some cake!"

So, Harry took his magical wand and casted a spell to make... BIRD DUNG CAKE! Yay! WHOOP-WHOOP! Do the Hustle! Do the Michael Jackson dance-- er... maybe not...

Harry suddenly realized something, his fans weren't chasing him anymore! Thery were now chasing... Hermione and her cat, Crookshanks! Why, you ask? Because Crookshanks is a very ugly cat!

However, Snape was nowhere to be found. Harry decided to go look for him. Which is weird, because Harry wsa totally afraid of him earlier.

Harry first checked the potions class, and then he went to the dining hall and everywhere else. Except for... the girls bathroom! (dun dun dunnnn!)

Harry crept inside the girl's bathroom...AHHHHH! OH! It was such a HORRIBLE SIGHT! The pain! The torture! The humanity! The... the... SOMETHING! Snape was sweet-talking to himself in a mirror, in a dress, wearing make-up! WHAT KIND OF MAN WOULD DO SUCH AN UNMANLY THING!

Harry then proceeded to scream like an uncooked banana muffing being baked alive in the oven and slowly dying. Snape then winked at himself... or was it at Harry? Harry couldn't tell...AHHHH!

Harry ran full-flight out of the girls bathroom. "Wait! My prince! Come back! Don't leave me!" called out Snape, " I already have some names picked out for our adopted children!"

A flying purple monkey then decided to drop a sack of dragon dung onto Mrs. Norris' head.

"NOOO!" Filch Cried as he took Mrs. Norris into his arms, "Don't worry, my precious... Don't worry... Daddy's here... DANG YOU FLYING PURPLE MONKIES!"

Out of nowhere, Voldemort came and started giving out cockroach clusters to everyone in the school.

"Oooh! Cockroach clusters!" Filch awed, "It's a must-have food for our wedding! Right, Mrs. Norris?"

"Meow meow," said Mrs.Norris. (Shock! Mrs. Norris is a cat!)

"What a weirdo..." Harry, Snape, and Voldemort whispered under their breath.

"Let's go to the Bowling Alley," said Dumbledore out of the blue," You know, the place where you make your own breakfast in a bowl, that's located in an alley?"

"HOORAY!" Harry, Snape, and Voldemort shouted, then sang,"We're off to see the wizard! The wonderful wizard of Oz! Because, because, because! Of all of the wonderful things he does!"

The End