For those of you who read the insanity of 'The sten and the mage' I applaud you for reading this piece as well. No, this is not humor, it was also written on a whim and not beta'd, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

NOTE: Sten's name in my universe is 'Arikon'.

Yours insanely

Golumfryingeggs

Sten's Report

The grand hall of the Arishok rose high above the grand city, its magnificent white and dark red marble structure dwarfing the golden watchtowers by many stories. The deep red marble pathway led past the gold and pearl fountains, the water a clear crystal aqua and the statues resembling the proud animals of Seheron.

Sten marched up the path. The guards, from the tower, led him to the hall, to the great Arishok. He would lie if he were to say that he was not nervous. A year ago he'd seen himself walk this path with his squad, returning from a successful mission, their one sided conversation grating on his nerves.

Now he marched alone.

The great ebony doors were thrown open, the two carved Qunari warriors starring down at him in all their glory. He took a deep breath, held his eyes forwards and marched into the blue hall.

His heavy boots fell onto the white carpet leading into the hall. The floors and walls were pastel blue marble, the statues shimmered white in the yellow fires. He ignored these beauties and followed the carpet to the half-circle of men.

They were seated in ebony chairs, raised by a single step of blue marble. Half a dozen of dark red eyes glared down at the warrior, their faces old, their bodies withered and weak, but their minds…

Held the wisdom of the ages.

Sten unsheathed his sword, his heart still racing at her comforting presence in his hands, he knelt before the Qunari leaders and balancing Asala on her point he held her strongly in both hands before speaking.

"Sten of the Beresaad reporting from Ferelden to the Arishok" his voice gruff his eyes still focused on the pure white carpet.

A stiff silence filled the room.

"Rise," one said and Sten did so, he stood from his position, seethed his sword and awaited them to speak. The cool eyes glared at him, six pairs of eyes, all bright and intelligent burned into him. He nary flinched.

"You were sent to Ferelden with a party of 20 strong men," the second eldest spoke, his voice thin and weary, but held more power than one could imagine, "And you stand here alone, tell us, did they desert or were they slain Sten of the Beresaad?"

He breathed quietly.

"Slain, Arishok," he answered promptly, his voice never wavered, his eyes never betraying the bitterness of his heart. The elders gazed at him critically, but the silence which loomed down upon him was a far worse punishment than any argument or angry cries.

"That is unfortunate," one spoke at the far end, his voice was harsh and cruel, no sympathy could be found in his words, "But I trust your mission was successful?"

"It was," he nodded curtly. The next silence was filled with a slightly higher anticipation than the first. As long as the mission was successful then all other sacrifices did not matter, only one need return. The others were not important… not anymore.

"What have you learned?" The eldest spoke, he sat center of the council, his eyes held the depth of the deepest oceans. His glare could cut diamonds.

Sten hesitated. What had he learned of the blight? He'd learned a lot about Ferelden but of the blight…

He frowned.

"In my travels I learned many things, Arishok," his eyes stared at the carpet as he spoke, his memories filling him to the point of explosion if he did not let them out.

"Then please," the eldest said, his voice cold, "Tell us,"

Sten did not know if this would turn out good or not, but inwardly, deep in his heart, in the hilt of his soul he felt that he owed them this. He owed them their honor, how ever strange that may be.

"I learned that men who change their destiny," he silently winced at their stares, but did not hesitate in his words, "May sometimes find their path somewhere else."

"I, Zevran pledge my allegiance to the Wardens,"

"I learned that mages are not always dangerous," a ripple of whispers started through the Arishok, "And that their souls can be as kind as angels,"

"Are you chilly?"

Hs eyes hardened slightly, "Though some were more annoying than others…"

"It sounds as if I'm arousing your passions already, my dear Sten"

"I learned that their warriors are sometimes strong and vibrant woman," the glares were murderous by this point, "And that they excel as fighters,"

"Do you believe I wish to be a man?"

"I learned that they are…merciful," the whispers started to grow and breed within the Arishok, "That they cherish mercy sometimes above the actual warrior spirit,"

"It's okay to have a heart, Sten,"

"I learned that their mabari are noble creatures," Sten had to raise his voice at this point, as the whispers had turned into mumbled arguments, "That their spirit and weapons are worthy to cross blades with. I have found a kinship with one, which I never thought possible"

"Happy bark"

"I learned that Golems are prone to thought and speech," he could not help but smile when one of the elders glared at him, before continuing with their argument, "And that some might even wish to join the Qun,"

"Excellent! That sounds very promising!"

"I learned that their children 'play'" he suppressed the second smile as the elders seemed to become quite flustered by this point, "And that sometimes they never stop, even when they grow older,"

"The look on their faces was priceless!"

"But that sometimes their humor can be… crass" he shook his head.

"Who ate the cabbage?"

"I learned that they never go back on their word," here the Arishok calmed down slightly, most eyes refocused on him, "That no matter how hard or impossible the quest may seem… they always complete it,"

"We'll find your sword,"

The silence fell across the room like a blanket, enveloping the seven occupants of the marvelous hall. Sten did not look at the Arishok, his mind still running through the wilds of Ferelden and into the battles of Darkspawn.

He missed them.

"You told us of the Ferelden people," The eldest of the Arishok said with a thin voice, shaking him from his memories "But our question was of something else…"

Arikon stared the center, the eldest had not taken part in the arguments, and his cool gaze had remained focused on the Sten the entire time he'd told them what he'd learned. He dreaded this; he just hoped that the answer he gave them would satisfy the Arishok.

"Your question was: what is the blight?" he breathed deeply, "My answer to you is this; the blight is a force that unites a country in disarray, so that they might fight a common cause and claim victory,"

The deafening silence practically shattered the walls in one go and Sten found himself suddenly wishing for a prayer he could mutter.

"Sten of the Beresaad…" the eldest paused, and then said stiffly, "… Arikon, please tell me this. You told us all these horrors of this land, how twisted they live and yet you praise them in this strange way. How can this be?"

Sten stopped himself before answering. He thought about this for a moment. How does one explain this to these wizened Qunari? His mind ran back to the foreign lands, to strange annoying questions, to kittens and flowers. To great battles and spirits he never thought to find in humans…or dwarves, or golems, or dogs, or elves or woman.

How does he answer?

Hs gaze shifted up and he stared at them as they awaited his reply. And then a thin smile spread across his features.

A place for everything…

"We are the armor" he started as he met the eldest gaze, "We are powerful and protecting, we hide away what is inside to keep it safe"

They nodded.

… and everything in its place.

He grinned, "And they are Kadan,"

The council erupted in a vicious roar of anger and disbelief, all but the eldest. Sten stared at him and he in turn stared back. He did not say a word, but the tiniest of smiles spread across his lips and Sten could swear that a sparkle could be seen in those old eyes. A sparkle of recognition and acceptance.

"Thank you" he finally said and nodded at the warrior.

Sten bowed quickly and took his leave, glad to be away of them. The angry cries could be heard even beyond the black doors and he mildly wondered how this will affect his status. He'd always been the best, steadfast in his belief of the Qun and one of their strongest warriors. But nine colorful companions had changed his heart.

Not his belief, not who he was, for that will stay till the day he died.

But just his heart, his compassion and his out look on life.

Whether he ever saw them again was still a mystery, but the future awaits him in a slightly different light than before. It was slightly brighter for starters, but in more ways than one…

Because he had Asala…

… And lots of cookies!

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it! Unrealistic, impulsive, badly written and extremely stupid, but enjoyable?

Could be ;)

Yours insanely

Golumfryingeggs