disclaimer: i own nothing if i did angel wouldn't even be a factor

a/n: i wrote this a few days ago, i have no idea why it just sort of rolled right out. meh. hope you enjoy this little buffy/angel chat though it is 100 spuffy!

He watched her, not knowing what to say, not knowing if there even was anything to say. She needed this, needed to say it and he knew that he needed to hear it. Even if he really didn't want to.

'The Powers handed me the world and I turned it down for a two hundred year old vampire with a curse who would never know the meaning of true love.'

He was insulted by her description but knew that any protests he could make about her thoughts on his character would go ignored. This was her time, her words and she needed to say them, needed to mourn. Then he frowned.

'They gave you the world?'

She nodded and turned to look at him through the tears.

'They sent him to me, the hundred and fifty year old vampire who would never know how not to love.'

He thought that was a bit unfair but once more his soul demanded he let her speak her piece. And then he actually realized what she was saying.

'This is about Spike?!'

'It's always about Spike,' she told him with a sad smile. 'He gave me his everything and I threw it away for you.'

Personally he couldn't see the problem in that but she wouldn't be sitting on the front porch of her new house crying if she felt the same way.

'I don't want you Angel, I haven't for a long time, I just didn't know how to not want you.'

Again he was confused, what he hell did that mean?

'He's my everything, Angel, and I can't give up on that.'

'Buffy, Spike is gone. He's dead. Deader than dead.'

Buffy smiled sadly.

'I know.'

'Then what are you doing throwing your life away on a dead man? An actual dead man not just an undead man?'

'It's only been sixty seven days.'

Right, cause time matters when you're talking about hanging on to a guy who's never coming back.

'What difference does that make?'

'One hundred and forty seven.'

His head wanted to explode, he thought he was done attempting to unscramble the Buffy logic when she left high school but here he was six years later trying to make sense of her words and random facts.

'He'd wait for me forever Angel and I'll wait for him.'

'And what count the days until one day you die old and alone because you couldn't let go of one stupid vampire?'

'I'll count because he counted and I'll wait because he wanted and when I stop counting it will be because he's come back to me or I've gone to him.'

'One hundred and forty seven days?'

Buffy smiled sadly and turned to look out into the night.

'One hundred and forty seven days.'