A New Laptop

Jess' POV

I was sitting in class bored. Why had I even come today? Yeah, that was right, Liz decided to get drunk last night and the only thing worse than drunk Liz was hungover Liz, so I decided to make an appearance at school. I hadn't been in a while, so I figured it was time to head back, though Washington Square Park was looking like a better alternative right now… maybe I'd ditch after this class.

I was in English, thank god, at least it was a subject I knew well, though I would never raise my hand to answer a question. I loved seeing the other students suffer. I could be put in AP classes, even get a scholarship to a private school, if I tried, and I would do it too, just so I could get away from my mother Liz. But alas, Liz never could look after herself. I had to stay for her. I would never forgive myself if I moved away and something bad happened to her, so I stayed.

There was no point studying and getting good grades, I knew I'd be stuck in New York my whole life, destined to look after my mother. Maybe she'd change and I could get out. She'd changed before, but she always ended up reverting back to her old self. If she did change, it'll be too late for me. I wouldn't have the grades to get into a good school. I probably wouldn't have even graduated. College was out of the picture.

"Jess Mariano," the teacher called upon me. I couldn't tell you his name. I didn't attend enough classes to warrant remembering his name.

I looked up at him, glared more like it. I was trying to throw him off. I couldn't deal with his questions today. I wasn't even sure what we were studying.

"Your thoughts on Hemingway's Old Man and the Sea," the teacher prompted.

Hmm, at least it was a subject I knew. I could impress him with my infinite knowledge on all of Hemingway's works, but why bother?

"Too much water," I replied, turning my attention back to the book in front of me.

"Care to elaborate," the teacher asked.

I could see I wasn't going to get out of this one in a hurry, so I decided to answer.

"Santiago spent all his time looking for salt," I explained. "And although he was surrounded by water, salt water to be exact, he never once uses it."

"Good," the teacher said proudly. "And why do you think that is?"

I let out a sigh.

"He wishes the dissolved salt would crystallize, so it would be intelligible to him," I explained getting bored, so much for my day of doing absolutely nothing. "He spends the whole book searching for salt, yet he is surrounded by it at all times. Usually one doesn't want something they are surrounded by, yet Santiago couldn't give up on his idea to obtain salt on land."

"Good, good," the teacher said excitedly. "And what are your thoughts on the Marlin? Why did he kill it only to protect it the whole way home?"

"The Marlin was like his brother," I explained. I was actually getting a little excited, I could never contain my emotions when Hemingway was involved, that guy was a genius. "He spent three days out at sea with that Marlin and if you ask me he got a little attached. He killed the fish because it showed weakness, a weakness that Santiago was too beginning to show. He was delirious and he believed that it was him or the fish."

"Excellent, and why did he risk his life to protect it?"

"It was like his brother," I said. "He sacrificed his own brother and would do anything to protect him. He was his kill, his prize… his brother, and no one was going to take that away from him…"

"Jess Mariano?" another teacher said as they came into the classroom.

"Yes," I responded dully. My Hemingway rant was over, there was no need for me to be excited anymore.

"Could you come with me please?" they asked.

I grabbed my things silently, well my book and pencil, I had no need for school books.

"Good work today, Jess," my English teacher said as I passed by him. I glared back. He'd probably caught me reading The Old Man and the Sea on several different occasions, it was one of my favorites after all, he must've somehow knew I'd get wound up, show more of myself than I originally planned.

I followed the teacher silently through the hallways. I wasn't sure, but I didn't think this was one of my teachers. I would probably remember too, she didn't look too bad from behind. We stopped at a door and she unlocked it. Great, it read student counselor on the door, so now they thought I was a whack job and after doing so well in class today... great.

"Please take a seat, Jess," the student counselor said and I reluctantly sat down, looking anywhere but her.

Maybe I could convince her to give up on me, just like everyone else. I didn't need people in my life, they only let you down.

"So, I'm Miss Sanders," she introduced. I'm still avoiding eye contact. "But you can call me Emily."

Hmm, or not.

What I was doing here anyway? I hadn't done anything wrong, well apart from skipping school, but I'd been doing that for years.

"So, Jess," Emily started carefully. "Why did you decide to come to school today?"

Because my mom's drunk at home.

"No reason," I replied, still not meeting her eyes.

"You seem good today," Emily said. "I saw you in class just then, participating, I'm sorry I had to pull you away."

"Its fine," I said, drilling a hole in the wall behind her with my eyes.

"Please look at me, Jess," Emily pleaded.

I complied, maybe I could get out of here sooner if I co-operated, then I could hit Washington Square Park.

"Why am I here?" I asked. I needed to know.

"I've seen you around, Jess," Emily explained. "Around school and also around Washington Square Park."

I looked at her pointedly, when had she seen me at the park?

"You like to keep to yourself, Jess. Plus, you read more than anybody I know, I just think you could really benefit from a friend or at least someone to talk to."

"I don't need anyone," I retorted.

I wasn't going to talk to some random person just because she told me to. Plus, I didn't need to get attached to anyone, I couldn't bring them to my house, so what would we do.

"I think you do, Jess," Emily said. "Have you ever had a friend before… someone to talk to… someone to confide in?"

"No," I answered truthfully, there was no point. "Look," I said to her, "I don't want to meet anyone, I don't need anyone to talk to. I'll be fine by myself, I've lasted this long."

"Hear what I have in mind," Emily said. "Then you can disagree if you want."

"Fine," I said, I was actually curious to hear what she was going to suggest.

"Now this idea doesn't involve you meeting anyone in person," Emily explained. "It's online, over the internet."

"Is that safe?" I asked her. The only things I'd heard about friendships over the internet was bad stuff… pedophiles and all that.

"I've researched it for you," Emily said, "and I've found a safe, yet enjoyable chat room for you."

"Really?" I asked her confused. "What is it?"

"It's called Literati," Emily said. "They talk about books mainly, so you should be able to find someone on there who has similar book tastes to you. So, what do you say?"

"I think we're overlooking something important here," I said to her. "I don't own a computer."

"I assumed that," Emily said, "so I got a grant from the school and they purchased a new laptop just for this cause."

"A new laptop?" I asked in disbelief. "Aren't you afraid I'm going to sell it?"

"Doesn't matter to me," Emily said. "It's the school's money. But you don't seem like the type of person to do that, Jess."

"What if my mom catches me with it?" I asked Emily carefully, Liz and a new laptop definitely wasn't a good combo.

"Tell her it's the schools and that it's on loan to you," Emily said. "You might want to add in that it has a locater device or something fancy like that… something that would deter her."

"What about the internet connection?" I asked. I didn't have the money to afford it, plus it must be pretty expensive.

"All taken care of," Emily told me as she walked over to cupboard and pulled the laptop out. "Here," she said as she handed it to me.

"You sure?" I asked her confused. This was just too weird.

"I'm sure. You're smart, Jess, really smart, and I think you just need to find someone to talk to… someone your own age."

"Okay, thanks," I said graciously. I'd give it a go and if it went wrong, then I could always sell the laptop for some extra cash.

"Here's the website address," Emily said, handing me a piece of paper. "And that's your new email address and log in password for the chat room. You think you know how to log in and everything?"

"Sure," I replied. It couldn't be that hard.

"I guess you're all set then," Emily said. "You're free to go."

"Do I have to do anything in return?" I asked her, surely she'd want something.

"No," Emily smiled, "but just remember I'm always here, you can come and talk to me whenever and about whatever."

"Whenever, whatever," I mused out loud. "Sure," I said, "I'll keep that in mind."

I left her office and put the laptop in my locker. I decided to stay for the rest of the day, it was the least I could do; the school did just give me a new computer for no reason.

The rest of the day dragged on, yet I was oddly excited to get home. I wanted to log into the chat room. Maybe I would find someone to talk to… someone who didn't know me… someone who I could confide in.

The school bell rang, the day was finally over. I grabbed the laptop out of my locker and rushed home. Never once before in my life had I ever actually wanted to go home.

I got home quickly and was glad to see Liz passed out on her bed. It meant I could hide the laptop from her today and it'd give me at least a day to feel as though someone cared about me.

I booted it up and logged on quickly, it was actually easier than I expected. I changed my display name to: You Don't Want to Know Me. Hopefully it would deter some people, but it would also pre-warn whoever wanted to talk to me. This way they would all know what they were getting into right from the start. I looked through all the names and clicked on the username: The Sun Also Sets. It seemed as though they would be into Hemingway.

You Don't Want to Know Me: Hey

The Sun Also Sets: Hey

You Don't Want to Know Me: So do you like Hemingway?

The Sun Also Sets: Who?

You Don't Want to Know Me: Umm, your screen name?

The Sun Also Sets: Still confused

You Don't Want to Know Me: Why do you have The Sun Also Sets as your screen name?

The Sun Also Sets: Oh, idk, it sounded good

You Don't Want to Know Me has logged off.

Okay, now that was weird and what the hell does idk mean? Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. I figured I'd give it one more shot, somehow I felt as though I'd let Emily down if I didn't. I looked through the names again, but none of them seemed right. Then I saw one almost as off-putting as mine: Product of a Mistake.

You Don't Want to Know Me: Hey

Product of a Mistake: Hey

You Don't Want to Know Me: Nice name

Product of a Mistake: Yeah, you too

You Don't Want to Know Me: So you were a mistake… Why would you put that as your screen name?

Product of a Mistake: It's my mom's joke and she won't let me change it, well yet at least. I'll just give her coffee tomorrow and she'll cave. So what about you, met anyone interesting on here?

You Don't Want to Know Me: No

Product of a Mistake: Anyone psycho?

You Don't Want to Know Me: No, no psycho's

Product of a Mistake: You don't talk much do you?

You Don't Want to Know Me: No, first time

Product of a Mistake: Me too, there are some weirdos out there

You Don't Want to Know Me: Are you a weirdo?

Product of a Mistake: Lol

What the hell is lol? Damn shorthand.

You Don't Want to Know Me: Yeah

Product of a Mistake: Umm

You Don't Want to Know Me: So what country do you live in?

Product of a Mistake: FYI Idk you

You Don't Want to Know Me: What?

Product of a Mistake: Never mind

You Don't Want to Know Me: Okay, so?

Product of a Mistake: So what?

You Don't Want to Know Me: You like books?

Product of a Mistake: Yes, you?

You Don't Want to Know Me: Yeah

Product of a Mistake: What's your favorite book?

You Don't Want to Know Me: Don't have one

Product of a Mistake: None? Do you even read?

You Don't Want to Know Me: Yeah

Product of a Mistake: Really? But you don't have a fav?

You Don't Want to Know Me: No

Product of a Mistake: So you don't read? Why are you lying to me?

You Don't Want to Know Me: I'm not, I just don't have one

Product of a Mistake: Weirdo

Product of a Mistake has logged off.

Okay, well that was weird too, but not as weird as the first person. At least this person seemed somewhat cool, and at least they read.

I logged out and switched off the computer, placing it under my bed, but within easy reaching distance if need be.

I lay down and was consumed by my thoughts. There was something interesting about the last person I talked to, they seemed into books and willing to talk to me despite my screen name. I knew I'd have to log on tomorrow and see if they were back online, but first I had to pick a favorite book. Jeez, this was going to be hard. It'd probably take me all night, maybe I could cut it down to my top five… or maybe top ten.

Damn, I don't even know this person, yet I want to impress them. Tonight was going to be a long night.