Popcorn Fun
AN: I own nothing in this story. This is for Speedy Speck so enjoy! Please R&R.
Reno and Tifa cuddled together on the couch, a remote for their television close at hand. Reno nuzzled her neck, eliciting a few giggles of delight from the brunette.
"Let's watch the movie already!" a voice whined. Reno and Tifa broke apart a little, Tifa smiling sheepishly while Reno glared.
"I'm sure Rude would love it if you showed him some PDA princess," Reno shot back. Yuffie glared and wrapped an arm around Rude's waist, pulling him closer.
"Mind your own damn business Turkey! I'll have you know we make out a lot. We just don't like to cram it down other people's throats like you."
"What movie are we watching?" Rude asked in an attempt to ease the tension between his girlfriend and his best friend.
This time it worked.
"I don't know I let Tifa decide," Reno answered. As the three looked at Tifa, they could see her cheeks become a bit pink.
"Well...I chose one of my favorites. I think we'll all like it even if it isn't exactly the most serious piece of cinema ever."
"What is it?" Yuffie asked, munching on a handful of popcorn.
"Fantasia," Tifa answered, her blush intensifying. But instead of the teasing she thought she would receive, Yuffie and Reno merely grinned.
"Awesome choice," Yuffie said, eating more popcorn. Rude nodded in agreement. Tifa relaxed and lay her head on Reno's shoulder.
"You don't think it's too childish, do you?" Tifa asked as she started the movie.
"Nah, babe. You made a great choice," Reno replied, kissing her on the cheek.
Toccata and Fugue started off the movie, the two couples enjoying the surrealism of the animation matched with Bach's genius. As it was nearing the end, Tifa noticed that the popcorn was almost gone.
"Yuffie, could you pass me the popcorn?"
"No way, I'm eating it!"
"You've had nearly the entire bowl and you're a guest in my house," Tifa reminded the ninja, who just turned to her with narrowed eyes.
"You want the popcorn, huh?" Tifa nodded, thankful that the argument was apparently over. Yuffie picked up the bowl, stood up, and dumped the contents all over Tifa's head, drenching the barmaid in seeds, butter, and salt.
Reno was about to open his mouth to yell at the princess when Tifa launched herself forward, pinning Yuffie to the floor, a hand pulling the ninja's short hair.
Unobserved by anyone, a Materia slid out of Yuffie's pockets and hit the television, a multicolored flash shooting out of it.
Reno and Rude were about to pry their warring girlfriends apart when they felt themselves being sucked into the television. Yuffie and Tifa watched wide eyed as their men vanished into the screen.
A moment of silence passed.
"What did you do Yuffie?"
"I didn't do anything! It must have been the Turkey's fault!" Yuffie yelled back.
"Don't call him a- but Tifa was cut off as she felt her own body being sucked towards the boob tube, Yuffie following after her.
As their bodies crossed through the screen, they passed out.
Tifa opened her eyes and found herself in a white space devoid of furniture or even walls. A groan beside her made the barmaid turn to the source of the noise and saw her boyfriend, eyes opening.
"Reno!" Quickly embracing him, she checked him from head to toe, making sure he was alright. Once she was satisfied, she returned her gaze to his eyes.
"Tifa...where are we?"
"You're in my body of course!" a child's voice rang out. Said child appeared in the blink of an eye. She had long red hair and brown eyes that looked exactly like Tifa's own.
"Who are you?" Tifa asked. The little girl laughed. She couldn't be older than six.
"I'm your television and you two are my parents!" Taking in their wide open stares and dropped jaws, the little television girl giggled. "See, you two bought me and brought me home and watch me all the time, which makes you my mommy and daddy. One of that ninja's Materia things made me come alive and so I decided I wanted to play with all of you!"
"Play..." Reno said, still trying to wrap his brain around what he had just heard. The little girl nodded.
"Yup, yup, yup! And since we're watching one of mommy's favorite movies that's what we're going to play! I'm gonna send you into the movie and you'll be whatever characters I want. When the movie is finished you'll all be back in the real world, 'kay?"
"Look, um, sweetie, we really don't want to play right now- but Tifa was cut off by the pout the little red head directed her way. Sniffles escaped her lips and Tifa soon swept her into a hug. "Alright, alright, we'll play."
The television girl brightened up in a moment and kissed Tifa on the cheek.
"You'll love it mommy!" Tifa then put her down and the child pointed at the two of them. "Now it might be a bit scary sometimes but even if you get hurt or even killed in one part of the movie, you'll be just fine in the next section. Bye, bye, this is going to be so much fun!" As the child waved at them, Tifa and Reno could feel their bodies vanishing.
"Wait, what's your name?" Tifa asked.
"Telly, but I like to be called Elly," the girl answered. And with another wave, Tifa and Reno vanished completely.
Reno blinked. He felt odd and looked down at his legs. What he saw was a creamy brown pair of blobs where his legs used to be. He also felt something weird on the top of his head. Reaching out what he knew to be his arms, he touched whatever it was. At the touch, he recognized exactly what part of Fantasia he was in: the Mushroom dance scene. A little baby mushroom walked/waddled over to him, looking out of place.
"Reno?" Tifa's voice asked from the fungi's "mouth".
"Yeah babe, it's me."
"What are we supposed to do?"
Just then music started up, booming all around them, and the fungi couple started dancing, kicking their little legs out and going round in circles along with all the other mushrooms.
"Where do you think Rude and Yuffie are?" the Turk asked.
"I don't know but hopefully they're safe," Tifa replied before they felt their bodies vanishing once again.
The music had ended and with it their roles in this part of Fantasia.
Yuffie was sure she was going insane. First she had met that little red headed girl who looked like a mini version of Reno and Tifa combined and then told that she was in trouble for making the little girl's mommy upset. Then she had vanished.
Upon returning to her senses, Yuffie realized she had on a robe of some sort.
"Rude?" she asked, her voice high pitched. In fact, Yuffie knew that voice. "Gosh, I'm Mickey!" the now cartoon rodent princess of Wutai said. A broom walked up to her, a pair of markings on it's body reminded Yuffie of her lover's favorite sunglasses. "Rude, I'm Mickey!" The broom that was Rude seemed to roll his eyes at her, although how Yuffie knew this she had no idea.
She saw a blue glow off in the distance then and knew it was the wizard's hat. Drawn to it, she put the hat on, between her massive ears, and thrust her hands forward, magic springing to life from her fingertips. A couple of more brooms were brought to life.
"I guess we have to follow the plot," Yuffie said as the music started.
As the brooms, Rude included, gathered the water in buckets and moved it over and over again, dumping the H20 until it overflowed, Yuffie started to worry.
How was she supposed to stop all this?
She tried all the magic she could but the water wouldn't recede and the music got more frantic.
Spying an ax glinting in the dimly lit chamber, she ran up to it and rushed into the fray of brooms, quickly separating Rude from the rest as she started chopping.
After all were now bits of wood, the music had slowed. Yuffie wiped her furry brow and heaved a sigh of relief. The doors flung open a moment later and the wizard arrived, glaring at Yuffie.
"Ha, ha, I didn't do it," Yuffie said, chuckling. The wizard raised two eyebrows and picked up Rude. Walking past the wizard, Yuffie was spanked hard in the butt and rushed out, her consciousness fading as the music ended.
Tifa found herself in a primordial forest with music pounding all around her. Spying a tasty looking leaf, she ate it and started chewing.
"The Rite of Spring sequence...which must mean that I'm now a..." Tifa said aloud, looking down at her new body. Sure enough, the Avalanche member was now a dinosaur, a brontosaurus to be exact. She wandered through the forest, her massive feet sinking into the rich earth, until she came across a large gathering of dinosaurs and small furry things that could only be prehistoric mammals.
"Reno?" she asked. A furred form landed on her body then and scampered up her neck.
"Tifa...it's me. Although I wish it wasn't," the red head said, appearing in front of Tifa's eyes upside down as he was leaning over her head to get into her field of vision. Tifa chuckled at his lemur like form, the sound rumbling throughout her body and nearly making Reno fall off.
"We're here to have fun, remember?" Tifa said. "And how do you think I feel? I must weigh a few tons at least." Reno smirked, the expression incredibly odd on him now, and patted her head.
"You still look sexy."
"Thanks...but if we're in Rite of Spring then- but a roar bellowed from a deeper part of the forest and a T Rex as dark as sin stomped into view, it's eyes and open mouth as red as Reno's hair usually was. But there was something odd about the way the T Rex moved. It almost seemed...clumsy.
"Rude...where are ya?" the T Rex said in a deep throated growl.
"Yuffie?!" both Reno and Tifa said. The T Rex blinked and then seemed to smile.
"Turkey, Tifa! Man am I glad I found you guys! That little kid creeped me out and then I was Mickey Mouse. I think I might be going crazy actually."
"Yuffie..." a stegosaurus said, padding up to the T Rex.
"Rude! Alright, we're all together now! What should we- but Yuffie noticed just how big Rude and Tifa were and how juicy their thighs looked. A bit of drool escaped her slightly opened mouth.
"Run!" Reno yelled. He held onto Tifa tightly as she did just that, Rude following after her.
"Guys, I just want to eat you!" Yuffie whined from behind them as she gave chase.
Luckily, for the ninja, she managed to catch up to Rude first and tried to bite his back. But a whack from his spiked tail put an end to that.
"Rude, that's assault!" Yuffie roared.
"You're trying to eat me," the bald Turk stated.
"Oh yeah..." Yuffie said before trying again.
Tifa and Reno watched as Rude's strength failed him after a few moments and winced as Yuffie bit him.
"Yuffie, he won't die if you eat him! In fact I think you have to so we can get out of here!" Tifa yelled. But the T Rex had already started to tuck in, the music fading once more as the four started to fade.
Rude heard some truly beautiful music playing and opened his eyes. He was half submerged in a crystal clear pond. He started to move forward but felt three other legs do the same. Ignoring it, he walked out of the pond and then realized exactly what he was.
Rude, the fist fighter of the Turks, was now a female centaur with long black hair and blue eyes. His horse half was covered in fur the same color as his hair and he walked around a little, getting a feel for his new body.
"Excuse me, are you Rude?" a youthful male centaur asked another male centaur a few meters ahead. The male centaur shook it's head and galloped away.
"Yuffie, is that you?" Rude asked, embarrassed at how soft his new voice was. Yuffie still had her black hair but a beard covered her chin. Her muscled human half looked even stronger than Rude's normal self and the ninja clopped over to her boyfriend.
"Rude...you're a...woman..." Yuffie managed to say before great booming laughs escaped her throat. Rude put his hands on his hips and raised an eyebrow.
"And you're a man," Rude shot back. Yuffie got over her laughing fit and wiped her eyes a little.
"Yeah but it's not that bad you know? Kind of refreshing actually. I'm not going crazy am I?"
"No, Yuffie, it was one of your Materia that caused all this, remember?"
"It was Tifa's fault, not mine!" Yuffie yelled, whinnying a bit as she replied.
"Yuffie, it was your fault and you know it!" a boy's voice called out from above. Looking up, the two centaurs saw two cherubs descending from the sky.
"Tifa..." Rude said as he raised a delicate eyebrow.
"Don't forget about me partner," the second cherub said, the red hair alighting his head and his mannerisms clearly those of Reno. "Man, if Laney and Tseng could see us now," Reno chuckled.
"You're not telling anyone about this, got it?" Rude said. Reno nodded and looked over at his now male girlfriend.
"What's supposed to happen in this part of the movie again?" Tifa was about to answer when a parade of centaurs galloped past carrying wooden buckets overflowing with grapes.
"We have to follow them," Tifa said, pointing a chubby finger towards the centaurs.
So the group followed after them and discovered a giant wine press, Yuffie whooping at the sight.
"Yeah, let's get drunk!" She then dragged Rude towards one of the openings and forced him under a stream of red wine, the ninja placing herself under another a second later.
Bacchus appeared several minutes later, crocked out of his mind on the back of his poor little donkey. The portly god raised a toast and the two cherubs floated above him.
"You know you and Yuffie will have to make up, right?" Reno asked.
"I know, but she started it so she should apologize," Tifa said, crossing her arms over her flat chest.
A loud belch sounded then and Yuffie stumbled over to them, supporting a giggling Rude.
"Hey...HIC you guys...you gonna drink any URP wine?" Yuffie asked while Rude continued to giggle. Yuffie kissed one of his rosy cheeks at the sight.
"I don't think angels can get drunk, Yuffie," Reno answered.
Suddenly the sky grew dark and the festive music changed, becoming much more ominous. A god appeared in the sky then, the thunderbolt held in his hand signifying just how it was.
"Zeus..." Tifa muttered as she flew away, taking Reno with her. The two drunk centaurs watched them leave as lightning crashed and a torrent of rain began.
"Run, HIC!" Yuffie yelled and the two centaurs did just that, not noticing their bodies fading away.
Tifa yawned widely, the barmaid feeling strangely lethargic as dawn broke the horizon. Opening her eyes, she saw that she was in a vast amphitheater. Recognition made her shake her lethargy a bit and she looked down, not surprised in the slightest to see that she now had a massive hippo belly and a pink tutu over her hips.
Tifa the hippo stood up and did a pirouette, amazed at how graceful she was. In fact, she felt even more graceful then her normal human form.
"This'll be fun," she said aloud as she started to dance with the music. Ostriches soon appeared as well as elephants. One of the elephants nearly crashed into Tifa and the cartoon hippo narrowed her eyes.
"Yuffie, how are you feeling?"
"How did you know it was me?" the elephant of Wutai trumpeted.
"Only one person I know is that clumsy," Tifa answered.
"Hey, that was mean! Besides we're only here because of you!" Yuffie yelled. The hippo that was Tifa bumped her belly into Yuffie's and glared.
"And who started the whole fight in the first place?" Tifa asked.
"You did!" Yuffie replied, sticking out her tongue.
"At least now you know what you'll look like if you keep on eating junk food," Tifa taunted. The elephant then tackled the hippo and they started fighting, their attacks useless as all their blubber shielded them from harm.
After thirty minutes of this, as the rest of the animals continued to dance, the hippo and elephant stood up, both panting and sweaty.
"Maybe...maybe...it was my fault," Yuffie said, not meeting Tifa's brown eyed gaze.
"Well...I...shouldn't have got so upset," she said. Yuffie then hugged onto Tifa as best she could.
"Friends?"
"Friends," Tifa said, smiling. "And I'm sorry about the junk food comment."
"It's alright, I deserved it." They then broke apart and Yuffie observed Tifa's body. "You know, I'm surprised you aren't freaking out at how fat you are," the ninja commented.
"I'm a hippo now, can't really do much about it. And besides it's fun!" Tifa then started dancing and Yuffie soon joined her, finding that she danced just as well.
As the sun was sinking below the horizon, the music changed and a train of sinister garbed crocodiles appeared, fez's adorning their scaly heads. Two of them at the head approached Tifa and Yuffie.
"Tifa, princess, is that you?" Reno asked. The next thing either he or Rude knew they were being smothered by hippo and elephant blubber as the two hugged their boyfriends tightly. Once they were released and could breathe again, Tifa smiled.
"I must say the look suits you Re."
"Funny, I was about to say the same thing about you," Reno teased back. They then started dancing, Rude tangoing with Yuffie while Reno did the foxtrot with his hippo of a lover.
"Am I still hot?" Yuffie asked Rude as he dipped her low.
"Sexy," Rude confirmed, kissing her on the lips. Yuffie's grey cheeks turned pink at the compliment and they continued to dance, the music's tempo picking up.
Tifa ran away from Reno and motioned for him to stand right where he was.
"Teef, what are you doing?" At his question, Tifa started running, her steps pounding into the ground. Leaping into the air, she smirked as she crashed onto her reptilian boyfriend.
"That's for teasing me," Tifa whispered to her squashed lover. Her body started moving then as Reno somehow managed to lift the hippo above his head and twirled her around in a circle as the music ended, their forms losing substance.
Reno and Tifa huddled close together in the wooded grove, their cloaked bodies pressed against one another.
"That was terrifying," Tifa said. Reno nodded.
They had ended up literally dancing on Satan's palm and the ruler of Hell had turned them into pigs, imps, and finally women with skin constructed from flames before smothering them. Finding themselves together in this wood, they started walking as truly heavenly music played on.
"Ave Maria," Tifa murmured, glad for the change in mood after a Night on Bald Mountain.
The couple spied Rude and Yuffie a few feet ahead of them, decked out in robes and carrying a lantern as the four of them moved on through a church before spying the rising sun.
"It's beautiful," Reno said, his jaw dropping at the sight. Tifa hugged him and nodded as the music finished and the world vanished.
Opening his eyes, Reno found himself on the floor of his home, Tifa beside him and Yuffie and Rude sprawled out a few feet away.
"We're back!" Tifa cried, kissing him deep on the lips.
"Yeah we are," Reno said.
The television flickered to life and Elly's face appeared, grinning at the four of them.
"Mommy, Daddy, was it fun?"
"It was wonderful," Tifa answered, Reno agreeing. Elly cheered and jumped up and down.
"So..." Yuffie said, looking at Reno,Tifa,Rude, and the now sentient television, "What are we going to watch next?"