WARNING: IF YOU HAVE NOT YET FINISHED DEATH NOTE, THEN I WOULDN'T BE READING ANY DEATH NOTE FANFICTIONS FOR THERE ARE PROBABLY SPOILERS. ESPECIALLY IN THIS ONE.
If you have finished Death Note, then you can carry on. I hope you enjoy; I made this one for you. :D
Death, shadows, darkness.
If only I had known this was coming. If only…
But L had known this was coming. He knew it since the first time he saw Light, the first time he introduced himself. There was a flicker in Light's eyes; he had panicked for a moment, and then it was gone. But L had seen it. And he had also seen the way he composed himself so quickly and moved on, greeting L like he was greeting someone he was very fond of.
If only I had found evidence, if only…
That's all L could do. He could only think "if only" thoughts, even though there was no way to carry out those "if only"'s. He would die today, and that would be it. Light would win. Lwould move onto whatever was coming next for him (Heaven, limbo, floating around the world forever as a ghost) and Light would win. Light would win.
Your eyes are full of sin…
Light was staring down at him, calling out his name, shaking him. But Lcouldn't move. And somewhere, hidden beneath the false façade of fright Light was putting on for the rest of the people in the room, somewhere, L saw what was really going on in Light's eyes.
Humor. Light's lying eyes were dancing.
As L faded away, he heard the first few notes of Light's victory chuckle, and he was gone.
He was a little boy again.
He was dancing around his mother's garden, calling out to her, "Mommy, don't these look pretty?" and watching his mother nod in approval. He loved to work with his mother in the garden. But their days together seemed to be fading fast. His mother wouldn't let him see, oh no, she would never let him see the pain beneath the cheery mask, but L could feel it, sometimes. When they were laying in bed and she was reading him a story and she would suddenly stop and hiss; oh yes, then he could feel her pain.
"Mommy, what's wrong?"
Here she was again, doubled over, panting in a bundle of daisies she had planted just for L; his favorite flower. She slowly pulled her gardening gloves off her hands and waved off the spell with a flick of her right hand.
"Oh, it's fine baby. Nothing to worry about. Momma's fine."
Momma's fine-
-Nothing to worry about.
Then why did it feel like he needed to worry?
"Mommy, I can call someone if you-"
"No!" her yell was so loud that it made L drop the flower he was holding in shock. His little frame started shaking, and she was suddenly on her knees, holding her arms out to him. As he clumsily made his way over to her, she wrapped his arms around him and cooed, "My baby, oh my baby. My little genius."
And that was all he could remember.
Now he was sixteen.
L had grown up. His mother had passed away. He still remembered her, he could still smell her. But he didn't think about her, nu-uh. Not if he could help it. Thinking of her hurt too much; the wound was raw and every time he felt a thought coming on, it pulsed with life. He didn't want that happening.
Momma's fine.
But she hadn't been fine. No, she had been very sick. If only L had known, he could have done something about it, he could have helped her…
Nothing to worry about.
L was sixteen, and he was going to his prom for the first time. Sticking his hands in his suit pockets and turning in the mirror, he took a good look at himself. From his shaggy black hair that he had taken to growing long after his mother died to his large black eyes that looked haunted, he looked like a creature of the undead. A vampire. But he didn't mind this look too much; it was just him. Nothing was going to change that.
He had a date, yes, but he had a feeling that she was only interested as him in the friends type of way. And he didn't mind that at all. He had no interest in girls, at the moment. Sure, they were pretty, but his mind was on growing up and becoming that World's Greatest Detective that his mother had always prided herself on telling people he would become.
My boy will be famous one day. He will solve all the hardest cases when all the other detectives give up. His mother only figured he would be a great detective because of the way he solved crimes around the neighborhood. He was like a mini version of a cop. If a pet went missing, L could find out where it was in less than a day, just from what kind of food it ate. L could do anything.
Famous one day.
Momma's fine.
L pushed his hair away from his face as the doorbell rang. He was nervous, but he didn't want to admit this to anybody. He walked over to the door and pulled it open, and little Suzie Marten stood there in her pretty ruby dress, her blond hair tied up in a nice bun, and all his worries washed away into oblivion.
Nothing to worry about.
"Hi there," Suzie said then, grinning. "You look really nice."
L couldn't help but smiling at this compliment. And then he remembered his manners. "You look beautiful, Suzie, you really do. Oh, here, I got you something."
It wasn't much, but it was something he could afford. He didn't have much money, between school and working two jobs, but he didn't need much. He was living in the Wammy House with his uncle, Watari, and the arrangement was working out quite nice. He didn't have to pay for rent or utilities, just food and clothes for himself.
"Oh, it's beautiful!" she breathed. L grinned to himself as he slipped the daisy he glued to a bracelet on her wrist. The white of the daisy and the ruby of her dress went well together. L gave himself a moment to feel good about this choice, to feel good about Suzie liking the homemade corsage.
Suzie reached over and kissed L on the cheek. "I couldn't have asked for anything better," she told him, as she slipped her hand in his and they went to the prom.
Now L was nineteen, and he was meeting the boy called Nate for the first time.
He was living at the Wammy House, too. Unfortunately, they would not get to spend much time together, because L was just about to leave it. He was done. He had other things to do, and he had to get them done.
My son will be the World's Greatest Detective! His mother's words formed all around him, and he knew that he was going to fulfill his mother's wishes for him.
Mommy, don't these look pretty?
He wished he could be that little boy again. But as he stared in front of him, holding the fork up with just two of his fingers and pushing a strawberry around in his mouth, he knew he could not. And he knew that he shouldn't wish for something that could never happen; if he just kept his eyes on the prize, maybe he would get that prize someday.
But if he kept his head in the clouds, he would never get back down.
And now Watari was knocking on his door and calling, "L, I have someone that wants to meet you very badly."
By now, L was hardly famous, but he was known around these parts for solving local crime things. So he was very curious as to who would want to meet him.
When he opened the door he looked at Watari holding the little boy with the white hair to his side. L's mouth almost dropped open, but he had better manners than that; instead, he got down on one knee and took a good look at the boy.
"You're very nervous to be here today. I see you've been biting your lip a lot. And let's see those fingernails. Ah, yes, they've been bitten too. That's a bad habit, you know." L glanced over this little boy with the white hair. His observations didn't seem to phase him.
"And you haven't been getting much sleep lately. And your face looks flushed; you've been drinking a lot of water. And your lips are tainted a little bit red, so I think you've been eating strawberries," the little boy answered.
L was faintly amused, but anyone could have made these observations. But then he reminded himself that it was a little boy who said this (how old was he? Nine? Around the same age he was when his mother passed away) and then he was shocked.
"Good job, little man," he said, and reached out to hand him a strawberry that was laying on the plate next to him, out of the eyesight of the boy. "Have a berry."
"Thank you." The boy ate the strawberry greedily.
"His name is Nate, but he wants you to rename him. He's starting a new life at the Wammy House, and to have a clean slate, you need a clean name."
So L had named him Near, because after giving it much thought, the boy looked like a Near. Of course, this is what L told Watari and Near. He wouldn't tell them the real reason.
After spending much time with the boy Near, L had decided something. If something were to happen to me, like-
Mother.
-then I need someone to carry on my work. To create success even after I'm gone.
So L had talked to Near about being his successor, and he seemed to like that idea.
And then L met Mihael, and he noticed very strange things about this boy, too.
He also noticed how both well and bad the two boys (Near and Mello, he deemed them) worked together. Mello was dramatic and took to following his emotions. Near was more drawn back, and liked to analyze things first; which, also, could be a problem. He lacked initiative.
L was nineteen, and he was talking to Near and Mello about what would happen if he were to die anytime soon.
It was early, but it was never too early to be careful.
Now L was twenty four, and taking on the most interesting case he'd ever taken on before.
A serial killer, killing criminals that appeared on the news. Kira. That's what people were calling them. And L believed that naming the evil was to make the evil real. And that's what people had done. Named him.
Kira. The Japanese word for killer.
L was smart. L thought ahead. But if he had thought ahead a year or so…no, he couldn't do anything to prevent what his fate was.
And the L was meeting Light, and nothing in the world could live up to the way L felt at that moment. As if fate was shifting around. As if L could finally taste his end. Is this what death is like? Do you know this far ahead of time? Did Momma know?
Nothing to worry about.
I'm fine.
He couldn't possibly know that far ahead of time, but still, L had this odd feeling in the pit of his stomach as he watch Light's eyes flash at him. That one little moment of panic was all he needed.
Five percent. Twenty percent. It could be any number, but in the back of his mind, L was always mostly ninety percent sure that Light was this killer they called Kira. He just had no evidence. Light was good. He was careful, just like L. He could pretend to be innocent even when the world around him knew he was guilty.
But the world didn't know he was guilty. Only L did.
If anything were to happen to me, little Near and Mello, you will take my place…
Where were they now, those little boys? So full of innocence and life. Who was L to take this away from them by making them take his place in death? Who was he to put this pain he was feeling on them?
This pain. This death.
L had known from the start it would not end well, but he did not show it. Even if his fate was set in stone, he would make sure that Light's was, too. He would make sure to bring him down.
Now L was twenty five, and he was dying.
He didn't want to die. For a moment, he thought of his mother, oh his mother; did she want to die, did she feel it was coming soon, did she fight back at all, did she-
Momma's fine.
-feel like she should have the right to live, just like L now did?
L stared up at Light's eyes, so full of sin, so full of victory. And with everything he could muster, with all his strength, right after the memories flooded through him, he thought one last thought:
Kira.
Actually, believe it or not, this was fun to make.
I was thinking I'd do this same thing with the rest of the characters that died in Death Note. So, for instance: Mello, Matt, Soichiro Yagami, Kiyomi Takada, Watari and even Light!
Tell me what you think about this, and I'll see about continuing.