Damon was going stir-crazy. For weeks they had been expecting Klaus' revenge for even attempting to thwart his plan. Damon had been expecting it the night after homecoming and he hadn't stopped expecting it ever since. For a few days, Elena had stayed at the Boarding House, so they'd be prepared whenever Klaus chose to strike. They had spent their days practicing self-defense and building weapons. Damon was well aware that it was more a means of keeping busy than a means to actually increase their chances against Klaus. They really didn't stand one. But since anything was better than admitting defeat while you're still breathing, they pumped every ounce of energy into metaphorically fighting back. But that's all it was. Klaus never came. He never took his revenge, he never threatened them, he never claimed Elena's blood, he had disappeared and so the pent-up energy at some point started to evaporate and make room for excruciating exhaustion. After months of either fighting or running, these weeks of waiting were unbearable. They didn't even know what they were waiting for. They didn't know if Klaus was going to come after them when they least expected it or if he had lost interest in them, had reunited with his family, had left their lives for good. This constant state of uncertainty had created a vacuum that seemed to suck out their energy, until at some point Elena, in her never ending and always so unsuccessful attempt at leading a normal life, had decided to go back to her house to live with Jeremy and Alaric.
Damon had considered protesting for about a second, but agreed almost instantly. He knew that they were fooling themselves if they believed the two of them would be able to defend themselves against Klaus should he choose to attack. And he knew that Elena needed her brother and that any shred of normalcy could only improve her spirits. He wondered at Elena's determination to over and over again try to live a normal human life when it had by now become painfully obvious that no matter how hard she tried, the circumstances would never allow her to actually make that choice. The supernatural world would always reel her back in. Too many different parties had a stake in her existence to just let her be. But at the same time he couldn't pretend that he didn't understand her desire to feel connected to the human world and a human life. How fiercely she clung to any semblance of normalcy only made him realize how much he missed out on. He saw how worried she was about her friends and her family, how invested she was in everything that happened in the town, how much time she spent making decisions that would influence her future. And he realized that this was what he missed about being human. He missed the immediacy and the finality of actions. He missed responsibility and consequences. Being a vampire, he could redo or undo anything as often as he wanted to, until he was satisfied with the outcome. He could compel people to forget, he could simply disappear, he could wait out anything. Even the biggest scandal or tragedy was bound to be forgotten at some point and he could wait forever. For a vampire, actions only had repercussions on you if you let them. As a human, every second of every day meant making decisions that would influence your future and even in the most mundane instances there was an undercurrent of finality. You could always try to rectify mistakes, but you couldn't make anyone forget and at some point you simply ran out of time. So who was he to judge her for clinging to the last shreds of human normalcy this world had to offer her?
If he was being honest, he was also relieved to see her leave the house because her constant presence was driving him crazy. She had done what she always did. After the intense moment they had shared after homecoming, she had focused all her energy on being strong and marching on and they had simply coexisted, without addressing the elephant in the room. Where was Stefan? Why was he not coming back? Why could they not find a trace of him anywhere? And where did that leave the two of them? Even though it was only another instance in a long line of instances, all standing in isolation, unconnected and without any follow-through, the moment they had shared after Homecoming had meant more to him than any other moment they had shared before. She had said "we". That little word had sent his world spinning. It had included him and her in a little exclusive unit, just the two of them. He was not part of "the people she cared about", he was in this little capsule called "we". He was sure she wasn't aware of the significance of this word for him and fairly certain that had she understood this, she would not have used it. But it showed him how far her acceptance of him and her need for him went and it was the only thing that kept him going.
He was starting to feel like he was slowly going insane. With Elena out of the house, Stefan gone and Klaus having seemingly disappeared, he started to feel like he lacked purpose. And that had been the only thing that had kept him going the past 146 years. He had always had a purpose, a goal, something he was in pursuit of and could focus his energy on. And all of a sudden there was an enormous emptiness that was opening up in front of him and he didn't know what to do with himself. And the only thing that still gave him a tiny sense of purpose was the feeling that she needed him or at least might need him and for now that had to be enough.
The doorbell rang. Damon looked up from where he had been staring at the extinguished fireplace and threw a glance at the door. It wouldn't be Elena. They talked on the phone from time to time but she wouldn't just come over and ring the bell. He got up and slowly pulled the heavy door open, revealing Bonnie standing in the afternoon sun. He was too surprised to invite her in, but she was also in too much of a hurry to wait for any invitation he might offer and sprinted past him, clutching her grimoire and speaking while she moved into the parlor.
"We have a problem" she said, turning around and looking at him expectantly, waiting for him to follow her into the parlor. He slowly closed the door. There it was again, that "we". A very different one though. Not as exclusive and emotionally drenched but none the less quite surprising because he couldn't think of a situation that would make Bonnie include him in any sort of "we".
"Come on in." He remarked flippantly, waiting for her to spill the beans. She glared at him, but that was nothing new.
"I have detected bundled force." She said, looking at him pointedly.
"Good for you?" He answered with a small shrug, sauntering down the stairs and joining her in the parlor. "What does that even mean?" He asked.
"It's not good. For anyone. It means someone is binding energy and collecting it. Like the which-burial ground?" she provided.
"But that was created violently through the forced death of hundreds of witches. How does one go about binding energy?" he asked.
"I don't know. That's why I say we have a problem. I didn't think it was possible. Otherwise Elijah would not have been so desperate to find that burial ground. I don't know who it is or how they're doing it, but it's getting bigger."
"What do they want with it?"
"I have no idea. But if they just keep amassing it, a powerful witch could end up doing just about anything with it."
"How does this concern me though? Sounds like a witch-problem." Damon shrugged and walked over to his wet-bar to get a drink.
"When has any potential supernatural threat in this town ever turned out to not be a threat to Elena?" Bonnie asked, putting extra emphasis on the last word. His jaw clenched. It was true. Who would want to have energy for anything in this sleepy little town that didn't concern Elena? And Damon had long ago moved past the point of pretending he wouldn't do anything to save her, from anything.
"Fine," he conceded. "What do you need?"
The old gang was back together. Damon wasn't sure how to feel about this. On the one hand it meant that Elena was probably in danger again, on the other hand it gave him something to do. And for that he was extremely thankful. He had called Alaric who had somehow managed to come over with Jeremy without making Elena suspicious. Caroline had brought Matt. Damon didn't really understand why, since he was only human and didn't have one of those nifty rings and was thus rather useless in Damon's book, but at the same time he couldn't do much damage and so his presence was accepted. Bonnie explained the situation and they all looked at each other questioningly. Getting together had been the extension of the formulated plan. Now they were back to figuring out what the actual problem even was.
"Maybe we should ask Tyler," Matt proposed after a while.
"Tyler? Why?" Caroline turned to him abruptly.
"Well, maybe Klaus has something to do with this." He shrugged.
"Wait, Tyler's still in contact with Klaus?" Caroline asked.
"Well yeah, he's in town." Matt replied.
"Klaus? He's here?" Damon asked. Everyone was staring at Matt.
"I thought you knew. Am I the only one who still talks to Ty at all?" He looked around. Caroline was looking at the floor, the others were looking at each other, confirming that everyone was equally surprised by the news.
"Well, I'll have a little chat with him then." Damon said and started sprinting towards the door. A shock of pain cut through him and he tumbled to the ground. It passed as quickly as it had started. He turned around in anger. "What the hell Bonnie! "
"You can't hurt him." She justified.
"I wasn't going to hurt him. I'm just talking to him," he spat. "If you wanted to get my attention, you could have just called my name, you know," he said a little more calmly.
"I'm sorry," she replied, "I'll come with you. Just making sure you're both not going to hurt each other." She reasoned.
"Fine." He accepted, certain she was more concerned with the wolf's wellbeing than his, but he had really not planned on harming the kid so if she insisted on coming along then that was just dandy.
When Tyler opened the door for them, he didn't seem surprised. He just silently let them in and led them into his father's study.
"We hear you're still chummy with Klaus." Damon opened.
"He keeps in touch," Tyler provided with a shrug.
"What's he up to?" Damon asked, moving closer to Tyler.
"Nothing that concerns you," Tyler replied defiantly.
"How about you let me decide what concerns me and what doesn't?" Damon said, inching closer menacingly.
"It has nothing to do with you. Klaus is concerned with Stefan right now. He couldn't care less what you and your merry band are up to." Tyler spat, raising his chin.
"Stefan?" Damon said, taken aback. He turned around to Bonnie who looked equally surprised. "What do you know about Stefan?" He asked.
"I'm on a need to know basis and I don't need to know very much. I just know that Stefan has taken something from Klaus and Klaus is working on getting it back." Tyler shrugged.
"Where is he?" Bonnie asked from behind Damon's back.
"He's here," Tyler said wide-eyed. "You don't know? He never left."
Damon reeled a little from the revelation. If Stefan hadn't run away, why would he never have tried to contact him or Elena? What could he have taken from Klaus and for what reason? Why was he not asking for their help? Klaus had set him free, if he was driven to get revenge, that would mean that he felt emotions. Why hadn't he come back for Elena? Damon looked at Tyler stunned.
"I'm sorry," Tyler provided. "I don't know what to tell you. I'm not involved. I thought you guys were all in on the developments. All I know is that Klaus would do anything to get back what Stefan took."
Back at the Boarding House Damon and Bonnie related what they had found out. Everyone was stunned. They had all accepted that both Stefan and Klaus had left town, simply because they hadn't heard from them. They suddenly felt shaken in their false sense of security. "He's collecting the energy to use as a weapon to threaten Stefan." Jeremy conjectured.
"Threaten with what?" Alaric asked.
"Anything," Bonnie answered, looking around. "With that much energy and a powerful witch, he could do anything. He could destroy the whole town."
"I say he's not interested in destroying the town. He's interested in hurting Stefan. The energy is just leverage. So he won't be surprised again by you channeling someone," Alaric supposed, looking at Bonnie.
"He'll threaten Elena," Damon concluded. Always Elena. He sighed. "He'll want to hurt Stefan where it hurts. He'll go after Elena. And with that much power there's nothing we can do about it." He felt the need to break something, but didn't want to alarm everyone staring at him. They were probably concerned enough as it was. He knew they all thought he was unpredictable when it came to Elena. He took a deep breath. "I'll go talk to her," he decided and went to grab his jacket.
"Wait, what?" Alaric turned around. "What are you going to tell her?"
"I don't know," Damon admitted. "But we can't stand here and make decisions without her even knowing. She is always the center of everything that goes on in this godforsaken town and she has a right to know that that hasn't changed. She needs to be prepared. If Klaus comes after her, she needs to be prepared." He turned around and left, leaving everybody stunned but also agreeing with him.
Elena walked up the stairs to her bedroom. Alaric and Jeremy were both gone. She didn't know where, but she had noticed a while ago that this didn't fill her with dread or alarm. She was calm. Klaus had left and she had made peace with the fact that Stefan was gone as well. She still missed him. She missed the way she had felt safe when he had pulled her in his arms and promised her that everything would be ok. She missed the way he would smile at her when she was the first thing he saw in the morning. She missed his smell and the feel of his touch on her skin. But the memories she had of the last months before he disappeared, the bloodshed, the cruelty, the numbness, had broken something inside of her. And even though she had tried to keep her love for him alive and fight for it, and even though she had never given up hope that he would at some point come back, she knew in her heart that things would never be the same again. She would never be able to see him the same way she had before. And she was sorry about this loss, the loss of a great love, but she also knew that she had to accept that it was over and move on. Stefan and Klaus had left, she had the chance at a new life, and ever since she moved back in with Jeremy and Alaric, she felt like she might actually have a shot at living it.
She did miss seeing Damon. They talked sometimes on the phone, but he gave her space and she didn't seek his company. They had grown close, closer than she had been comfortable with. But in the end, after she stayed at the Boarding House in the wake of Homecoming, their relationship had become more and more dysfunctional. She constantly felt this pull towards him, a pull she couldn't explain to herself, since it wasn't merely physical attraction. But at the same time they were both so damaged by the loss of Stefan that their interactions weren't about them, they were about him. Still, after everything, they were not an independent unit, everything they were seemed to hinge upon what Stefan was to each of them. She hadn't been able to move past it and she had been glad to leave the confinement of the Boarding House and go back home. Here, she had been able to work out her sadness about Stefan and to move on. She had talked a lot to Jeremy and Alaric, both of whom had lost loved ones by force and she had come to make peace with her situation. Her talks on the phone to Damon had helped as well. His smooth voice was calming and endearing. She could listen to him forever and not tire of its sound. He had become the one constant in her life outside of her family. While her friends were of course there for her, they all had their own lives and their own messes to deal with. Damon had only her. She knew that it was selfish of her to keep taking and relying on the fact that he would always be there for her, but at the same time she had grown to need his presence and support and she wasn't able to give it up anymore.
When she opened the door to her room, she was startled by Damon standing by the window. She had gotten used to his random appearances in her bedroom, but since they hadn't seen each other in a long time and he had refrained from visiting her, she hadn't expected him to show up. She felt a surge of gladness at seeing him, the way you do at the first sight of someone who was gone for a long time as they walk out of the terminal doors of an airport. She had a quick impulse of falling around his arms and couldn't resist a smile creeping onto her face. But she let it turn into a playful smirk and fell back into the comfort of light banter.
"Gosh Damon, we do have a door, you know," she huffed, walking over to the window and closing it.
"But this is more fun," he said, throwing her a wicked smile when she walked past him.
After such a long time of only speaking with him on the phone, his immediate presence made her nervous. They had gotten quite comfortable with each other, but then they hadn't seen each other in weeks. She was surprised to find that she was nervous. She sat down on her bed and looked at him, waiting for an explanation as to why he was here.
"I have news," he said, his face growing serious. He sat down next to her on the bed.
"What's going on?" she said, staring at him, trying to gauge the seriousness of the situation.
"Stefan's in town," Damon related, not looking at her, waiting for a reaction.
"He came back?" She asked, surprised.
"He never left," Damon clarified, looking up to meet her eyes, needing to drink in every inflection of her reaction.
"What?" she asked confused.
"Apparently he's been here all along. He took something from Klaus after Homecoming and is hiding out and Klaus is planning his revenge."
"Klaus is here too?" she asked in disbelief. Damon simply nodded. "What did he take?" She asked.
"We don't know. All we know is that Klaus is apparently gathering energy somewhere nearby to use as a threat against Stefan to make him give back whatever he took."
"We?" Elena asked, somewhat irritated.
"Bonnie noticed the bundled energy. She came over. We called the others." He explained.
"And again, I was left out," she says, more as an observation than anything else.
"That's why I'm here. To tell you. We didn't know who or what it was. As soon as we found out about Klaus and Stefan, I came here," he reasoned.
"You could have included me from the beginning. I want to be a part of these things too. Just because I thought Klaus was gone doesn't mean I don't feel concerned about this town anymore." She had gotten up and paced her room. The habit of everyone excluding her made her angry and she felt like she needed Damon to understand.
He nodded slowly. "I wasn't sure if you wanted to be involved in more supernatural problems. You came home to take a break from all the drama. I didn't want to pull you back in without being sure I needed to."
She looked at him and nodded. She understood. "I always want to be included," she stated firmly. "When it concerns this town, my friends or my family, it concerns me and I want to be included." She reaffirmed.
"Alright," he said, smiling at her softly.
"So what's Klaus planning?" She finally asked.
"We don't know for sure. But he'll want to threaten Stefan with something that will guarantee him the return of whatever it was that was taken." He looked at her and let his words sink in. He got up slowly and stood before her, before speaking again: "We think he'll threaten you."
Elena let out the breath she'd been holding. "But he needs my blood. He won't kill me." She said, looking at Damon hopefully.
"We don't know what it is exactly that he plans on doing. But he will want to hit Stefan where it hurts. He will go after you," Damon stressed, taking a step closer. Elena's shoulders slumped a little.
"I thought it was over," she said, a look of fatigue creeping into her features. She stared at Damon, willing him to say it wasn't true, begging him with her eyes to make this new threat disappear.
"I know," he said, kissing her forehead, cupping her face with his palms, "me too." He touches his forehead to hers. He had his eyes closed but he felt her slender fingers grasp his wrists and hold onto them for dear life.
"I can't do this anymore," she said, a slight tremble in her voice. "I'm so tired. I don't know if I can keep fighting."
"Yes you can." He said, with determination in his voice. "We always survive, remember? We always survive," he said, looking into her eyes for emphasis. She nodded. "I will never give up on you," he said with resolve. "We will always fight. I can't give up. Ok?" he looked at her and she stared back at him, her eyes skimming his, a look on her face he'd never seen before. Her gaze dropped for a second and then rose back to his eyes, filled with a mixture of newfound determination and uncertainty. Then, suddenly, she leaned forward. It was almost like she didn't move at all, just a slight shift of her weight, but it brought her face up to his and made their lips just barely brush against each other. He stilled completely, not knowing what to do. He had his eyes closed and was suddenly acutely aware of the soft skin of her face against his palms and the slight rush of air he felt when she breathed. Then she closed the distance completely, pressing her lips against his.
She wasn't sure what had come over her. She just knew that she couldn't go through this again and couldn't see him go through it again without forging a stronger connection. She needed to feel his love for her and his strength in order to find the same within herself again, so she would be strong enough to fight. When their lips had brushed against each other, the inevitability of their lips at last joining in a mutual kiss had excited her beyond reason. And when she had finally worked up the nerve to press her lips against his, she wasn't prepared for the sensation that was awaiting her. He did not move at first and she had almost pulled back, but then his hands on her face had pulled her even further into the kiss, he had parted his lips only slightly, so as to capture her bottom lip between them. She had savored the feel of his soft lips against hers, the slight pressure he applied made her heart jump. Then, suddenly, their kisses became hungrier. Their tongues entwined and couldn't get enough of each other. She grabbed into his hair and pulled him towards her, pushing her body up against his. She couldn't believe how right this felt. She had been longing to kiss Damon for a long time, but she had never expected it to feel like this, like coming home. She couldn't believe this man had been standing there all this time, waiting for her to choose him. She couldn't believe he was still here, when everything he had clung to for his entire life was gone, only to be there in case she needed him. She couldn't believe after all the pain he had been through with his brother, he was still being strong for her, yet again.
Damon was awestruck for a second. She kissed him. He hadn't even tried, hadn't even thought about it, and there she was, her full lips shaping perfectly around his own, moving in a sensual, leisurely pace at first, but getting hungrier and faster by the minute. She tasted heavenly and felt even better. He drove one of his hands through her silken hair and pulled her close with the other. He felt her pull him down to her in return, felt her body pressed up against his, smelled the scent of her skin so close to him. He had imagined this moment many times, but never could he have imagined it as such perfection. He would never be able to let her go now. His determination to fight for her was stronger than ever. And then, suddenly, he felt a tear roll down her cheek and wet his thumb.
He pulled back in surprise, looking into her eyes. "Don't cry." He pleaded. And he meant it in the sense that a boy always means it when he sees a girl cry, because it wrenches his heart to see her in distress. But he also meant it in a much more personal and elemental way. The kiss had been everything he had prayed for this past year. It had provided him with newfound purpose, hope and strength. It had made him the happiest he had probably ever been. And to see this same kiss bring tears to her eyes, to have this same kiss cause her pain, was unbearable to him. He didn't know how he would handle it, if what had been perfection to him had in some way hurt her. He didn't know what he would do if she walked away from him now, how he would ever come back from this. He stared at her, unable to say anything else, unable to let go of her, clinging to her in a desperate attempt to hold on to the moment they had shared mere seconds ago.
"We can't do this," she said, a devastated expression on her face.
He felt unable to breathe, unable to move. "Because of Stefan," he concluded, trying to keep the utter sense of defeat he felt out of his voice. She closed her eyes and another tear escaped the corner of her eye and left a wet trail on her cheek. He felt his defeat turn into anger. How dare she do this to him? She knew how he felt about her. She was the one who kissed him this time, the one who had pressed her delicious body up against him, the one who had tugged at his hair and deepened the kiss. She was the one who had given him this false moment of bliss only to rip it away again the next instant. How dare she hold Stefan over his head again. He took a step back and glared at her. "He's here, Elena," he yelled. "He's here and he has his humanity back and he didn't come back to you." He looked at her in disbelief.
"I know," she said, staring at him. Damon drove his hand through his hair. "He has accepted that he lost me," she explained. "He accepted it long before I did. He has given up on us. I know he's not coming back for me and I'm not waiting for him to do that. But he has never given up on you, Damon. He will come back for you. And he would reproach us for this. I can't come in between you two. You are each other's lifeline. You are family. I can't be in the way of that. At some point I'll be gone, you will forget me, you will move on, but you will always have Stefan. You need each other." She pleaded for him to understand.
He was trying to process what she had told him. He didn't know to which part of what she just said he should react first. Should he clarify that even in a million years he could never forget her? Should he argue that Stefan hadn't come back for him either? Should he tell her that there was no way in hell that he would go the rest of his life without kissing her again? He was about to speak, not knowing what he would say, just feeling the pressing need to say something, anything, when he registered that her expression changed to one of utter shock. His face fell. He looked around to see if someone had come in, if something could have startled her, but they were still alone. "What's wrong?" he asked, taking a step back towards her, wanting to reach out but unsure if she would let him, he let his hand hang in the air.
"He's going to go after you." She breathed, holding her hand to her mouth, her eyes wide.
"What?" Damon was confused. He wasn't sure what she was talking about now, his head still reeling from the emotional rollercoaster that had been the last five minutes.
"Klaus. He will go after you. To threaten Stefan." She said, still unable to move. Damon inclined his head, studying her, weighing how probable her conclusions were, deciding that the answer was: not very.
"That makes no sense," he said, shaking his head. "If what Stefan took is so valuable to Klaus, threatening me will do nothing to persuade him to return it. It's obviously important to Stefan to have it."
"He would return it if the alternative were to lose you," she told him, sure she was right.
He gave her a quick smirk, "Stefan and I are not like you and Jeremy, Elena. Our relationship is complicated. We have both done horrible things to each other. Stefan has his own agenda now. Klaus knows threatening my life won't incite my brother to give up his upper hand."
Elena closed the distance between the two of them and took his face in her hands. "Why do you always believe that it is so easy for people to give up on you? Why don't you understand that some people would do anything for you?" She looked into his eyes, willing him to accept the truth behind what she was saying. He gazed into her eyes, wanting to believe her, wanting to believe someone cared that much about him. He took hold of a strand of her hair and followed his fingers with his eyes, as they slowly trailed down the bundle of hair to her shoulder. Then he raised his eyes back to meet hers. He saw a few unshed tears glistening in her dark brown orbs. "Please Damon, you have to accept that it's you who's in danger and not me. And you have to come up with a plan. You have to. I can't lose you," she pleaded, a single tear finally escaping.
He grabbed her hands from the sides of his face and tugged them against his chest, feeling her fingers desperately intertwining with his, holding onto him. "You won't." He said, trying to put as much conviction behind his words as he could.
A/N: so… this is my very first story. First attempt at fanfiction. I hope you liked it. I'm not sure I will write anything else, this was just stuck in my mind and needed to be written. Also, I think if I write anything else, the tone will probably be very different. But in any case, please please let me know what you thought and help me improve. Every review, every bit of input or advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks