AN: Again apologies to those waiting for chaps in my other fandoms. Right now, these are the ones that are inspiring me. I am still working on the others, I promise.
Disclaimer: I don't own this stuff. Just rambling on about it occasionally. I promise to give it back.
O o o o o o o o o o o o O
"John. John? You can't do this. You don't know what you're about to do." Her voice and eyes plead with him.
"Yes, I do. You were gonna kill me." He remains cold, this is just a machine. A machine that was about to kill him.
"No, John. You can't do this. You're not doing the right thing. This is not the right thing, John. Things are good now. Things are fine now. I ran a test. Things are good now. I'm fixed now. You can trust me now. Everything's good now." He hesitates, listening almost against his will to her pleas. In his logical mind, he knows that a real terminator would only say that to trick him. There was fear in her voice and the only way that could be is if she were lying.
"What are you waiting for?" Distant, a voice of reason. His hands go back to her head.
"She doesn't know, she doesn't. I'm good now. I'm good, I ran a test. Everything's perfect. I'm perfect. John! I'm sorry for what I did. I'm sorry. It wasn't me. You have to understand. It wasn't me. That wasn't me. You can't let this happen, John. You can't! Please, listen to me. Listen to me. I don't want to go. Please, John, please. John, listen to me. I don't want to go. Please, John. Please. I'm good now. Listen to me. I don't want to go. I'm sorry. That wasn't me. I'm fixed now. I ran a test. Everything's perfect. You can trust me." Again, not the words of a protector, but the words of someone just trying to survive. Someone who was scared of dying. She couldn't be scared, she just wanted to complete her mission and kill him. It had to be all lies, every word. But he still couldn't get his hand to pull out her chip.
"John Connor." Her voice was firmer, the mother of a child who was caught with his hand in the cookie jar. It was absolute parental authority. And yet, his hand still hesitated.
"I love you! I love you, please. I love you, John, and you love me." It was if she had slapped him across the face. Love? It was the last straw, it had to be a trick. His mother's voice was too strong to withstand any further. He pulled the chip.
O o o o o o o o o o o o O
Sarah had watched the scene with her son and his protector with blooming shock and horror. When it finally said that it loved him and he loved it, she almost got out of the truck herself to destroy the thing. Luckily, John came to his senses and removed the chip finally.
It wasn't over though, they had gone to burn the thing, and nothing went as planned. She had watched John cradling and cleaning the chip on the way there. It bothered her, but she didn't stop him from doing it. He had no tools, no diagnostic equipment, nothing that could actually fix the thing; if cleaning it made him feel better before burning it, so be it.
Then, with thermite spread and the machine between them, John had defied her. Defied her and risked his life and all of their futures. He put the chip back in the machine. He held a gun on her and on his Uncle in order to do it. She wanted to vomit when she saw it happening, but just stood there, horrified, unable to stop him.
More disturbingly, when it awoke, it didn't try to kill John. He handed a gun to it and it didn't try to kill him, only giving the gun back to him politely. It wasn't possible, it just wasn't possible. Sarah pushed the thoughts from her head violently, but occasionally, in dreams, nightmares, they came back.
"I love you, John, and you love me." That was the phrase that haunted her. It was bad enough that it had an effect on John.
Worse that Sarah had to consider that the machine might have meant it. In her subconscious, she realized that if John didn't get to fix the chip, then that means the things Cam said while she was being crushed were not just a trick to further her mission. No one fixed her. No one reprogrammed her between her declaration of love, her fear of destruction, her pleas for her life, and when John put the chip back in.
That is what haunted her, what woke her in the night in a cold sweat, unable to remember exactly what it was that bothered her so much. It had the potential to destroy her worldview and change everything about the way she viewed the future and the machines. The subconscious thought that Cameron might be more than just a processor, and more than just that to John.