If you had told anyone that Joker has a soft side-no one would believe you. If you told someone that Joker and Batman have a kid, they would probably laugh at you, or look at you like you were insane.
But here was Joker, the Clown Prince Of Crime, number one wanted criminal in Gotham City, known for gassing people with his infamous Joker Gas, leaving a permanent grin on their face, that is unless Batman decided to step in.
Joker was sitting up in his bed, the bed seemed to be fit for two, but-nope! Just Joker. The sheets had the design of his signature Joker card, same with the pillows and blankets. (imagine that) Joker had only his Orange short sleeved shirt on, his hands were bare and so were his feet. The blanket only seemed to cover his legs.
Joker was holding something. It was bundled up in his purple jacket like a blanket, a baby with white skin and a full head of black hair. Joker smiled, not one of his maniac grins that would instantly strike fear into any human being before of course being silenced by a spray of Joker Gas-just a smile (NEW EMOTION UNLOCKED!) after being woken up by that feeling that every female knows, meaning that a certain creature that has been living inside you for 9 months has decided to welcome itself into the world at the most unexpected, in the most painful process that a human would have to endure, plus having to go through that painful process seeing what the still visible not so wet blood on Joker's bed will tell you. But after all that, it's ALL worth it once you get to see your newborn for the first time, and Joker was no different.
Joker gingerly ran his fingers through the sleeping newborn's black hair, admiring the tiny infant. She's so tiny, (yes, it's a girl) Joker just kept on smiling as he looked down at his newborn daughter.
Joker leaned in, close to his newborn daughter's face and kissed her forehead, accidentally making her face scrunch up, as she started to stir a little, letting out little whimpering noises. The newborn stretched out, making little stretching noises. After she was done stretching, her eyes finally opened, blinking a little before actually opening them all the way. She had beautiful blue eyes, now that she was wide awake (no thanks to Joker) she could now see! The only thing in her sight right now-was Joker. She looked up curiously at her mommy (er-daddy) not sure what to think of him.
(Well, who would? A natural response to Joker would be to cry)
Joker smiled at her, "Hi there."
The newborn reached her tiny chubby white hands out, either wanting to be held closer, or wanting to grab on to something. Joker leaned his face closer only to have the newborn grab a hold of his nose.
The newborn smiled, obviously having a blast holding Joker's nose captive. (THE POSSIBILITIES TO JOKER'S NOSE IS ENDLESS) Joker just kept on smiling. "Just wait until Batsy sees you."
In Gotham City...
To catch a mouse-you use cheese, to catch a bat-simply blow something up-which was exactly what Joker had in mind.
Joker was behind a toy store building, with every intention of blowing it up, holding the one day old infant in his arms, bundled up in a white blanket. Usually Joker would cause mayhem, not WANTING Batman to show up, and when Batman would show up to stop Joker, Joker would try to kill Batman in some way.
But not this time, this time he wanted Batsy to see his daughter- "THEIR" daughter.
Joker was hoping to blow the building up without waking his daughter up, needless to say-that didn't quite happen.
BOOM!
The toy store exploded, remains of stuffed animals and toys flying everywhere, along with pieces of the building flying everywhere.
Joker laughed, watching the building go up in flames, but his laughter was cut short by the sound of whimpering. Joker looked down at the source of the noise.
Apparently the loud explosion woke his daughter up. Joker bounced her a little, trying to calm her down, only to make her fuss more, and soon-crying.
"Shh, it's ok, did I wake you up? I'm sorry, but you wanna meet Daddy-don't you? I know, he may look big, tall, and scary, but he's not that bad."
The infant soon stopped crying, snuggling into Joker's jacket, slowly falling back asleep.
Joker smiled, "I love you, Gotham." He just thought of that name just now, it sorta slipped out.
Joker thought for a moment, "Hm-Gotham."
He wasn't entirely sure if "Gotham" was an actual name or not. Joker looked down at the sleeping infant in his arms- "It fits you."
Lost in the moment (much like all the readers at this point) Joker's trance was broken by a figure at the end of the ally way, The Batman.
Joker grinned like usual and got up to meet the bat. "You finally came!"
Batman responded by what his normal instincts told him-grab Joker by the shirt and get answers.
Batman went to go grab Joker but stopped himself once he noticed the white bundled up blanket in Joker's arms.
What is it? A weapon? Something he stole? If I grab him he could accidentally drop whatever is in there. It could very well break. (oh yes, we DEFINITELY don't want to drop it)
The bundle started squirming.
"It's a person," Batman realized. A baby, no doubt, but why would Joker have a baby? Did he steal it? No-Joker may be insane but stealing someone's infant would be low even for him! What would Joker even WANT an infant for?
All these questions flooding through Batman's head.
"There's someone who wants to meet you."
Batman froze, he planned this? Why would Joker want me to see-
While Batman was trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together, Joker simply walked over to Batman and placed the white blanket in his arms.
Batman looked down at the bundle in his arms. It IS a baby, only a day old it looks like. It had white skin, definitely Joker's baby, or he could have dropped it in a bucket of chemicals like he almost did with Donnie that one time. But there's no way a baby this young and tiny, could survive- plus it had to have green hair too. This one had black hair, so it couldn't have been Permaclowned.
"She's yours."
Batman's eyes widened. She? It's a girl? And-it's MINE?! That's impossible! How could that have-oh,
oh,
oh no.
Flashback...
"I got help from a certain walking ice box. To use "Science" and stuff to put an artificial Womb inside of ME, and in order to get YOUR DNA, I had to take a part from YOU, and of course some of my DNA and-well you can probably guess the rest."
"Master Bruce, Master Bruce wake up!"
"Ugh, Alfred, I had the most horrible dream, that Joker was pregnant and-"
End Of Flashback...
So this is my daughter?
"It's ours?" With Batman's always serious tone, it sounded more like a statement then a question.
Batman was still looking down at his daughter.
"You bet Batsy! Born just last night, and late too! I mean-I was too busy screaming in pain and all, but I think it was at midnight when she was born."
"Just last night." Batman thought to himself, "Does she have a name?"
"Gotham."
"Gotham." Batman smiled. "Gotham Wayne."
Gotham started to stir, then opened her eyes.
Batman took his mask off, revealing his real face, Bruce Wayne, looking down at his look a like only with white skin, and a different gender.
"Hi Gotham." Gotham looked at this new person that was holding her. Not knowing who he was. At first looking confused, then breaking out into a smile.
Gotham's POV: I like this man, I have no idea who he is or why he's holding me, but I like him!
"She likes you!"
"She's perfect," Bruce whispered, still under Gotham's trance.
"Well I'm glad you like her! I went through a lot of pain bringing her into this world." Joker began.
Bruce turned his attention to Joker. He's going on another one of his talking sprees again.
"So, you want me to thank you?"
"Great idea! Something like-" Joker started controlling Bruce's mouth, making it open and close, talking for him while mimicking his voice the best he could. Bruce just rolled his eyes.
"Thank you, Joker, for giving me a beautiful daughter that we can raise "TOGETHER" since I know how much pain you had to go through, I love you!" Joker stopped moving Bruce's mouth.
Bruce just shook his head back and forth, "Thank you."
"You're welcome!"
Awkward Silence...
"So-how's the whole-"Fight crime" thing going to work now?"