This is my first fiction posted on this site. I hope you enjoy it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Mario Bros. The name Ollie Smokes belongs to Nintendo, one of the Toads in Partners in Time said the name trying to remember Prof. E. Gadd and I liked it enough to snatch it ;) But the character himself is sort of mine.

It's-a me, Luigi! You know me, right? Luigi, Mario's little brother? The Green Thunder? Aw, come on! You gotta know me! The tall green guy who follows Mario around? What do you mean, it doesn't ring a bell?! . . .Fine, be that way.

I live in the Mushroom Kingdom just outside Toad Town in a little white cottage with my big brother, Mario. Yes, the hero of the Mushroom Kingdom. And I help him out, occasionally. Ah, you're remembering me now.

Oh, so you still don't know who I am? Shoot, I thought that would work.

Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh, that's right, that little cottage on the edge of Toad Town. It's a really nice cottage, you should visit sometime.

Mario had left some time ago and was probably off on some exciting mission to rescue the Princess again, which gave me a chance to catch up on some spring cleaning. Don't tell anybody about this, but I kind of enjoy spring cleaning. And no, I'm not a weenie. It's perfectly OK for a guy to enjoy cleaning his home, you know.

I put away the remainder of the dishes and moved on to the bunk beds my brother and I share, intent of making them. I got the bottom bunk, and Mario gets the top, because he's older and. . .well. . .I kinda, sorta. . . have this. . .thing. . .for heights. I don't like 'em. Never have, never will. They make me feel queasy.

Anyway, as I was debating the best way to fix up Mario's blankets without actually climbing all the way up there myself, the doorbell rang, shaking me from my thoughts.

'Now who could that be?' I wondered, removing the apron I had tied around my waist to protect my clothes. (There is NOTHING wrong with wearing an apron and I do NOT have a problem!) I bounded to the other side of the room and opened the door.

The caller was a man I'd never seen before. He had slicked back black hair and a goatee. He wore wire rimmed glasses and had a long scar running from the bottom of his chin to just above his right eye. Frankly, he reminded me of a mad scientist on one of those corny T.V. shows Mario and I liked watching. (Yes, Mario and I! He likes them too so GET OFF MY CASE!!!)

"Ah, hello, is this the home of the Mario brothers?" the man asked.

"Yep," I replied cheerfully. "Mario's not here right now, but you can leave a message and I'll pass it along."

"I'm not looking for Mario. I'm looking for a man named Luigi," the caller replied.

Now, this was interesting. Not many people came to the house looking for me. In fact, nobody came looking for me unless they were selling something. Which reminded me. . .

"I'm Luigi," I told him. "And we don't need home insurance, life insurance, our carpets are clean, and we are very happy with our current phone plan. We've got a complete set of the Encyclopedia and we really don't need anything you're selling." (If you haven't noticed, I've spent several years perfecting that speech.)

"You misunderstand me." The man tried to grin, I think. What really appeared was more of a grimace/sneer combo. Kinda creepy if you ask me. "I wish to speak to Luigi on a scientific matter."

I tried unsuccessfully to contain my excitement. I adored science. "I'm Luigi," I told him, now immensely curious.

"Ah, is that so?" Giving me another one of his smile/sneers, the man said, "I have it on good authority that you are a coward, correct?"

Well, so much for that. I felt my cheeks flush and I stuttered, "Um, well. . .I thought this was about science. . ."

"Now, now, bear with me," the man bowed slightly. "I am Professor Ollie Smokes. Professor E. Gadd and I are. . .colleagues. . ." Professor Smokes had a weird look on his face as he said this; like he'd just been asked to eat a bowl full of worms. Clearing his throat, he continued, "But I digress. I must say I have studied the career of the fabled Mario Bros. with immense curiosity, and I have found that although your brother seems to be the one always in the limelight, you happen to be quicker, smarter, and more agile than he. I found it such a shame that he should always be praised for doing things that you could do so much better if you weren't such a coward."

. . .And this conversation just went downhill fast. Hey, I know I'm not the bravest guy around. I'm a craven little coward, OK? There, I said it. I admit it. I'm too scared to do anything worth wile. Now why does every one feel it is their patriotic duty to remind me of this?

"Goodbye," I told the professor curtly and started to shut the door in his face. It wouldn't shut. That creep had his foot in the door!

I gave him a sour look and pulled the door in faster. It still wouldn't close. I slammed it harder, trying to make it hurt enough so he'd retract his foot. No dice.

I reared back to slam the door with all my might. That guy was going to regret messing with me! However, just before I slammed it shut, Professor Smokes cleared his throat.

"Before you try that again, I'd suggest moving your cat, Luigi."

My. . .uh-oh.

I looked down worriedly and sure enough, I'd been smashing the life out of my fluffy little kitty, who had a 'how'd that happen!?' look on it's adorably traumatized face.

"Now, if you'll allow me to finish explaining, I've just put the finishing touches on a machine that will allow me to reverse your genetic makeup thus allowing you to overcome your terribly timid tendencies."

Do you have any idea what he's saying? Me neither.

Obviously realizing the look of cluelessness on my face, Professor Smokes sighed and said, "It makes you brave."

"Oh! Why didn't you say so?"

"I did say so!"

Although this little conversation we were having was fine and dandy, I still had no idea why he was here. "So uh. . .what's that have to do with me?"

Professor Smokes looked at me like I was an idiot and sighed. "Did you not hear one word I said?!"

"Sure, I heard it, I just didn't understand it," I explained.

Another sigh. The Professor started speaking slowly and loudly, trying to make his point. "I would like for you to be my first test subject."

"You want me to do what?!"

"Now, now, it's voluntary, of course." Again the professor gave me his grimace/sneer. "Just think of what would happen if it was a success."

Well, not being a coward had been one of my lifelong dreams. It'd be nice to be able to do the things Mario did so effortlessly. I could really be a bigger help to him. And I would finally be able to muster up the courage to say hi to Daisy, the girl I've loved for years. Or. . .or even be able to fix up Mario's bed without fainting from terror.

I made one of my snap decisions. The ones where I look back and think 'That was the best decision I've ever made', or 'I can't believe I'd do something so stupid!'

"Okie-dokie," I told him. "I'll do it."

Two hours later, I was strapped to a hard metal machine and Professor Smokes was attaching a helmet full of wires to my head.

To my credit, I wasn't nervous at all. Frightened, maybe. So terrified I was about to pee my pants, definitely. But nervous, no, not at all.

Gulping loudly, I tried to make conversation with the professor to take my mind off the mind-numbing terror. "So, Prof, how does this thing work, exactly?"

"It swaps your personality with another person."

I chuckled. "That's funny, Professor. Now how does it really work?"

"I am not jesting."

My smile faded. I wracked my brain and finally blurted out the first thing that came to it. "Who'd ever volunteer to switch personalities with me?"

"I never said the other test subject was willing, now, did I?"

I blinked slowly, not quite understanding at first. Then it dawned on me, and I felt my jaw drop to the floor.

"What? You mean you're. . .you're forcing someone to do this?" I felt sick; I was such an idiot for agreeing to participate in an experiment run by someone I didn't even know! I started struggling against the metal straps, trying to free myself. "Then count me out! I won't be a party to something like this!"

"Now, now, no complaining. The other test subject doesn't." Professor Smokes cackled like. . .well, like a mad scientist and waltzed out of the room, returning with the other hapless victim of his experiment. I couldn't get a good look at the guy's face, but he was obviously unconscious.

Still laughing uncontrollably, Professor Smokes hooked him up to the machine and stepped back, pulling a lever. The most intense pain I'd ever felt wracked my body. I tried to scream but the sound wouldn't come out. In the split second before I lost consciousness, however, I recognized the other man strapped to the machine.

"Mario!"

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