Codes of Conduct: Chapter 1
By Helena Fallon
This is a story that I wrote in September 1982 and recently rediscovered while having a massive clear out of my house and promised a friend that I would post it for a wider audience.
Disclaimer: No copyright rules were intended to be broken but as a work of fanfiction I have borrowed a few characters to play with some of my own.
" Lieutenant Commander Sydel reporting for duty, Sir," announced the tall, black haired and dark eyed woman. Her hair surprised him because it was cut short in an unfussy style so unlike the other Vulcan women he'd met over the years. The Captain also noted that she did not use the customary 'T' before her given name.
Captain Kirk appraised the immaculate officer before him in his office. She was no fragile looking beauty like the women who worked in the Vulcan Diplomatic Corps and were often the only the representatives of Vulcan womanhood that most humans met. It was an observation that Kirk and McCoy had spoken of in private and they wickedly agreed that those women were probably specially chosen for the Diplomatic Corps to distract alien diplomats, who were so used to the emotionless and intense characteristics of the Diplomatic Corps' men. But this woman was no distracter; the uniform and manner implied a no- nonsense serious approach to her duties. 'Just like a female Spock,' Kirk thought.
"Welcome aboard the Enterprise, Lieutenant Commander, please sit down," he invited and wondered apprehensively about the many questions he would like to ask but suspected Vulcan reserve would stonewall his human curiosity.
"I hope that you are settled in. The temporary placement order you arrived under led to some hasty re-organisation of quarters," he paused trying to assess her reaction. She was a model of impassivity; her eyes were those of a watcher. Kirk thought that they were disconcerting like the Japanese women in archaic photographs who stared into the camera but you were not allowed to know them, although you sensed they knew you to your very soul.
"Thank you, Captain," she replied but gave no impression that she wished to expand further upon the subject of her sudden arrival.
Kirk continued, "You will work as Commander Spock's deputy and will have special responsibility for the co-ordination of ecological data. Well," he smiled but didn't expect her to respond to his charm. "I think that will be all for now, Lieutenant Commander, I'm sure that you would like to go to the science department to meet your colleagues and begin to work your shift as soon as possible, dismissed."
The officer gave a respectful nod of her head and silently left.
Later that day in the Officer's Mess.
"Ughhh…I forgot the sugar!" the Captain made a sour face and was about to rise but the Doctor's accusing blue orbs sank him down into his seat again.
"I'm trying to curb your sweet tooth, Jim, and you're not helping…You always get the 'sugar in my coffee' craving when one of the crew is worrying you. Who is it?"
Kirk gave McCoy a lop-sided grin; not much escaped his Bones. It could be both a gift and a curse to have the Chief Medical Officer as a friend.
Kirk sighed there was no fighting Bones when he was in this mood, "Lieutenant Commander Sydel."
"Mmm…A bit of an enigma isn't she?" the Doctor softly confided.
"What do you make of her, Bones?"
"Well now, she comes with a perfect service record, then she gets herself married and leaves. Two years later she returns to the Fleet who send her here on a temporary placement order…To us, not a predominantly Vulcan ship, Jim, why? Her husband is still alive, although she did her best to give me as little information as possible about him. I asked Spock about that."
Jim Kirk gave a look of mock surprise.
"We do occasionally communicate…All he would say was that it was unusual for a woman to separate from her husband but I'd better not probe otherwise I'd be offending Vulcan codes of conduct. When I asked him what the hell that was supposed to mean, he replied, 'All is silence in the family, Doctor,' and walked away," McCoy explained in a soft, but annoyed, tone so as not to be overheard in the mess.
Kirk sipped at his coffee and made a face once more at the bitter taste, "So it's as I suspected, the Vulcan's don't want her because of some…scandal perhaps? Or did she just have a row with her husband and decided to go away for a bit?"
McCoy looked unconvinced, "Vulcan's don't jeopardise 'the Tradition' unless it's something pretty serious. Perhaps if we're patient one, or the other, of our Vulcans will share the big secret with us."
Three months later.
Sydel stared engrossed in the view of the stars from the observation deck. The stars had always possessed a power over her, although it was illogical she confessed to herself, but the stars drew her to them and held their own balm. It had been a difficult day when the little mishaps of everyday living had been magnified all out of proportion. She knew why her patience was slipping; her background headache had increased in intensity over the past few days and if she was not careful the ever-watchful Dr. McCoy, or the Captain, would comment on her work.
Sydel sensed another nearby and pulled herself back from the reverie. She turned her head to the left to find Spock standing, about a metre away, patiently waiting for her attention.
"Spock, thee wanted me?" she asked in Vulcan.
"I wished to speak with thee," the tall slender senior officer replied. She bowed her head slightly in acknowledgement of his position and his request.
"Sydel, forgive me if I trespass upon your private life, but these past few days you have been in some psychic pain," the soft deep voice stated.
Sydel looked at him with some surprise because she had not realised that Spock had observed her difficulties.
Her fellow Vulcan began to speak again, "If it continues it may affect your efficiency as an officer, may I offer my assistance?" he asked tentatively knowing that he was treading very close to very personal matters and did not wish to insult this woman with his behaviour.
"No, no…"she replied too hurriedly and by doing so betrayed her horror at his suggestion. She saw Spock visibly withdraw into himself and felt ashamed at the thoughtless refusal. This man had cared enough to approach her, lowering his own barriers erected by Vulcan codes of conduct.
"Forgive me, Spock, you do not understand my circumstances, I cannot permit your assistance in this. I…"she stopped herself. Could she share her distress with another who was not family? Tradition preached that it was dishonourable to do so. But she had broken Tradition already. It was then that she made the decision to trust her fellow Vulcan.
"Spock, I will tell thee the truth of the matter…." she calmly began although inside she felt far from the serenity she showed to the outside world.
A few days later...
McCoy quietly positioned himself to observe the officer who had been showing signs of tension for the past week. She spoke a little too sharply to the Yeoman before her; only a slight change in her voice pitch but it was unmistakable to the watcher. The officer returned to the desk and the pile of data discs. Her head was propped up one arm while she read the computer screen. For a brief moment her eyes closed, the young face was etched with lines of pain, and then suddenly she was once more in control again and the evidence of her pain gone. The doctor decided to make his move.
"Lieutenant Commander Sydel, you are unwell?" he asked as he approached the desk when she was alone.
"No Doctor, I am feeling fit."
"That's not what I've observed this past week. I am ordering you to sick bay immediately your watch is over," stated the Chief Medical Officer and gave no space for negotiation in the matter.
The officer made as if to speak but she understood that determined tone.
An hour later she reported to sick bay and endured a thorough medical.
The medical was technically over and Dr. McCoy had dismissed Nurse Chapel, so that they were alone, before he turned to his patient with this statement.
"Lieutenant Commander Sydel, I'm using my medical authority," McCoy began calmly, "Now I want you to stop shelding that pain," he ordered.
Sydel looked at the Doctor with respect because this human was no fool but before she could answer him he continued.
"Look, I've got used to the methods of you Vulcans. Having a very stubborn one as the First Officer on this ship has taught me a great deal about how you can deceive some of those indicators," she saw his eyes briefly look at the panel above the bed. "Now stop shielding or do I get Spock down here to confirm my suspicions."
Sydel sighed inwardly. In the three months she had been on the Enterprise, her respect for this man's competence had soared.
"Christ woman!" he exclaimed, "What the hell is causing that kind of pain? It's not…"
"No, there is nothing physically wrong with me, Doctor. Can we go somewhere private to talk?"
Sydel followed the Chief Medical Officer into his office and watched him press the 'No Admittance' button. Spock had said that this man could be trusted if he pressed her for an explanation. She now hoped that this alien was worthy of the high regard Spock held for him.
"It is a form of psychic pain, Doctor McCoy, created by my bondmate…my husband, Bronar."
She felt his intense blue eyes lock onto her as if seeking evidence of deception on her part, but Sydel continued in a low but calm voice.
"Doctor McCoy, Vulcan's do not talk openly of mental disorders. I suppose it is because we almost worship our rationality after our violent past nearly destroyed our race. Often treatment is with the help of close family members and something to keep a secret within the family. My husband has a rare disease that leads him to suffer bouts of insanity," she said trying to keep her voice low and pacing out her speech with a measured calm. "During these bouts he can be violent. I did not know of his disability when we married, by that time it was too late, the marriage bond had been established and his instability seemed to increase…" she stopped, the memories were painful.
"In what way?" McCoy gently probed, he would have to try and find out as much as possible about this mental problem and hoped that Vulcan healers would be forthcoming over the subject. Sydel thought that his eyes had softened revealing the compassionate soul that Spock had said he hid most of the time.
Sydel paused to gather her strength and then continued.
"I had a lot of freedom being a Star Fleet officer but I chose to honour my childhood bonding. My parents had chosen carefully for my older sisters who are content and therefore I had no reason to suspect that my own marriage would not hold a similar promise. At first, I thought it was the madness of Pon Farr…Thee knows about Pon Farr?"
McCoy nodded and the Vulcan woman continued her story.
"However Pon Farr, I have since discovered, only exacerbates the symptoms and the sufferers condition continues, in acute cases, to deteriorate from this time. Bronar became very jealous of my work… I had taken a post at the Science Academy but he didn't like me out of his sight. I could not tolerate his possessiveness; it was oppressive after my former life. I tried to re-assert myself again but this only brought on a severe bout of the madness. He locked me up in our country house for seven weeks until I became more submissive to his attentions.
I approached Bronar's family concerning his instability and they merely admitted that he had had these bouts of possessiveness as a child, but the illness had not occurred in a severe form in their family for several generations. They thought that a bonded wife would give him the stability he needed. To be fair, often this is the case in mild presentations of the illness and in their family history this had been the 'stability cure' for those afflicted with this disease. You understand, Doctor, they thought I would be able to fight his irrational fears and demands through the marriage bond. But I was not strong enough. I'm still not sure that the family, nor the healers, realised just how Bronar could be…was and is now. I did try to cope and help him but then I found that I was pregnant and this calmed him for several months. The family, and myself, thought I had successfully established myself has his anchor to rationality. I gave birth to a premature son, who lived less than an hour. Bronar has never forgiven me. When I returned home from hospital it was terrible. The household staff had been dismissed and I spent the most harrowing six weeks at the hands of a madman.
I eventually got away but all the family keep saying is that it was, and is my duty, as his wife to stand by him and re-establish his stability like I had done before…But I can't…I can't stand his behaviour!" Sydel stopped realising that her voice was beginning to sound hysterical. She calmed herself before continuing.
"If I were a Terran, I would be granted a divorce on the grounds of mental and physical cruelty, Doctor, but there is no divorce on Vulcan after the marriage ceremony."
Sydel's dark eyes pleaded with McCoy to understand her plight. She then crumbled for the first time in her life before an alien. Bronar had reduced her to tears and she sensed through their bond his peculiar pleasure at her distress.
Sydel did not know what this alien would think of her as she placed her head in her hands and sobbed for several minutes feeling distraught and illogical. She was surprised to find that the action released some of the tension she had experienced over the past few days. Then she felt encircled by a flood of warmth and compassion and realised that the human had moved round from his desk to place his arm around her shoulders. Sydel felt guilty as she inwardly admitted that she needed this man's support just at that moment of weakness. McCoy felt no such guilt as he responded in a very human way. On a professional level he should not have placed a comforting arm around her shoulders but Leonard McCoy was hoping that Sydel would take the gesture as one given out of true compassion, for a colleague, and not as one taking advantage of a distressed patient.
Sydel regained her composure and found an old-fashioned soft cotton handkerchief pressed into her hands. The doctor had released his hold when he had seen her composure returning. He also poured her a cup of coffee from a personal coffee maker that graced a corner of the worktop behind his desk. Sydel had needed both of these kindnesses and they spent many more minutes in a companionable silence while both of them recovered.
"Feel a little better now?" he gently asked.
Sydel looked at him and saw a caring man who was, as Spock had said, worthy of trust.
"Yes, thank you," she managed and was grateful for the few humans that she had found to be understanding of her alien heritage during her years in the Fleet.
He waited a few more moments and then encouraged, "So you returned to Star Fleet?"
"It was the logical thing to do. He's…it's like a form of mental torture; he likes projecting pain through our bond. It's usually reliving the memories of our time together on Vulcan before I left. Sometimes this is for a few minutes but at others it can persist for days. The pain is less intense with distance. I went to Admiral Torvek, because I had worked under him before his promotion, and explained my problem. Then I was sent here because the Enterprise was patrolling furthest away from Vulcan. Star Fleet Command has been very understanding…"
"Do you always have the same level of pain?"
"No, it's usually just a background ache that I control quite well. The Vulcan healers at the Star Base would not have permitted my return if they thought I would jeopardise the efficient working of a ship. But these past few days, the pain has been increasing and more difficult to control. Either Bronar is getting stronger mentally in some way or he is nearer to me in distance…I think it is more likely to be a matter of proximity."
"Mmm…Is there anything we can do to help with the increased pain?"
"No, drugs will reduce my control. I'd rather try and cope in my own way."
"Can Spock help?"
McCoy saw her dark eyes widen in horror, "No…no. You don't understand, Bronar would sense another male telepath's invasion of my mind. It is why only a healer of the same sex enters a bonded patient's mind. Bronar would feel jealous and threatened and would try and retaliate in some way. I do not wish to have another hurt; Spock has been generous enough. He offered to help a few days ago, Doctor," she explained.
"And he didn't tell me," said McCoy in a weary voice.
"He did not mean silence to indicate lack of confidence in you, Doctor. But he felt it was my prerogative as to whether I informed you or not," Sydel carefully explained.
McCoy smiled at her attempts to smooth over what she saw as a possible rift.
"I suppose it comes under that large umbrella called 'codes of conduct'?" the doctor said softly.
She looked up at him, a little puzzled for a moment, and then her features relaxed as she recognised a little teasing. Dark eyes shone at twinkling blue ones.
"OK… but I'm going to keep my eyes on you and remember I'll always be here if you need to talk…anytime. But Sydel, before you go, you do understand that I have to tell the Captain but it'll go no further and he's a good man and can be trusted."
Sydel rose and nodded her consent and thanks before turning to leave. She felt calmer now and relieved that she could at least share her troubles with two colleagues on board if the need arose.
End of Chapter 1