Disclaimer: I WISH I owned Harry Potter, I'd be hella rich and famous from my best selling YAOI series.
Harry sits in the chair across from me, smiling.
"You look soooo cuute!" he nearly squeals.
I glare at him before reaching up and touching my head, feeling his latest creation; pigtails.
I yank them out and glare harder, he just grins.
I'm
no Barbie doll
I'm not your baby girl
He came over one night with two suitcases in hand and told me he loved me.
He smiles at me and kisses me.
I don't understand it.
I've
done ugly things
And I have made mistakes
I look down and slide a finger across what's left of the dark mark, his eyes follow my fingers, but his smile never falters.
I have tortured and I have killed.
I was one of the Dark Lord's followers.
I was a Death Eater.
And
I am not as pretty as those girls in magazines
I am rotten to my
core if they're to be believed
He could have had Ron, who finally gave up on him and went with Granger.
He could have had Draco, who is still ever persistent, sending him letters by owl that Harry never reads.
He chose me.
So
what if I'm no baby bird hanging upon your every word
Nothing ever
smells of roses that rises out of mud
He's so sweet.
He says nothing but nice things, even though I return them with cruelty.
His smile never falters; he doesn't expect me to change.
Why
do you love me?
Why do you love me?
Why do you love me?
It's
driving me crazy!
I
wont change.
Still, he hasnt left.
We've been living together, sharing my home and my bed, for almost six months.
He tells me he loves me every day, I still haven't said it back.
Why
do you love me?
Why do you love me?
You're
not some little boy
Why you acting so surprised?
You're sick of
all the rules
Well I'm sick of all your lies
I think it's just a game sometimes, that he's waiting for me to say it, waiting for me to open my heart up again so he can crush it and get back at me for everything I've done.
Now
I've held back a wealth of shit
I think I'm gonna choke
I'm
standing in the shadows
With the words stuck in my throat
And every time he says it, I want to say it. I want to tell him he makes me feel something I never thought I would feel again; not since Lilly Evans, his mother, died.
Does
it really come as a surprise
When I tell you I don't feel
good
That nothing ever came from nothing, man
Oh, man, ain't
that the truth
It feels horrible. It feels painful.
I don't want love him, I don't want to go through that ever again.
Why
do you love me?
Why do you love me?
Why do you love me?
It's
driving me crazy!
Why did this have to happen?
What did I do to deserve this?
Why
do you love me?
Why do you love me?
What did I do to deserve his love and affection?
What did I do to deserve him?
I
get back up and I do it again
Get back up and I do it again
I think I can.
I think I can do this.
Get
back up and I do it
Do it again
Harry is worth it, but what if…
What if it's like Lilly, what if he chooses someone else?
What if he gives in to Draco, or Ron or someone else…?
I
think you're sleeping with a friend of mine
I have no proof
But
I think that I'm right
I don't want to hurt like that again.
I watch him from across the table, the worry filling my head.
You
still got the most beautiful face
It just makes me sad
Most of
the time
He's perfect.
He's Harry Potter, the savior of the wizarding world.
And he wants me.
I
get back up and I do it again
Get back up and I do it again
Get
back up and I do it again
Get back up and I do it
I reach over from across the table taking his hand.
His eyes widen with the sudden display of affection, smiling warmly.
I kiss him.
Do
it again
Do it again
Do it again
Do
it again
"I love you Harry."
Why
do you love me?
Why do you love me?
Why do you love me?
It's
driving me crazy!
"I love you Severus."
Even I can't help smiling.