COOL CAT WAVERLY EARP
Waverly Earp did not get along with her girlfriend's cat. It was something that bothered and frustrated her to no end. Nicole Haught's cat was a hot-tempered, attention-seeking orange fireball, much like her namesake. She was Calamity Jane.
And Waverly Earp did not know what to do about changing the cat's opinion of her. She didn't understand. She was a lovely person, everyone in Purgatory adored her. Even those she had to shove out of Shorty's after declaring last call. She was liked, and she had worked so hard on that. But Calamity Jane did just not like her.
At first she had believed that it was simply a matter of time for the cat to warm up to her. Nicole even said so. The ginger tabby was not that used to strangers, and there Waverly was, creeping into her space and claiming the side of bed that Calamity Jane usually slept at. Anyone would be miffed about that, Waverly understood.
But then weeks passed, and Calamity Jane was still cleaning her butt in front of Waverly's face, disposing mice on her pillow and puking up hairballs in Waverly's favourite pair of boots, and it just seemed a little coincidental was all.
Nicole tried to assure her that it was a good thing: "I swear, Waves, that means she likes you. It's a good thing." But Waverly was having trouble believing her.
One night, she was even awoken to Calamity Jane dropping a spider on top of her in the bed, and after that she was just certain that the cat didn't want her there. Maybe Calamity Jane was used to being Nicole's only love, and maybe the feline wasn't prepared to share her owner, but Waverly was nothing if not persistent.
She was going to make Calamity Jane like her, because that was what Nicole wanted. And what Waverly's baby wanted, Waverly's baby got.
—
So Waverly brought home treats and toys for the queen of the house. She went to the only pet store in Purgatory and spent the entire week's tips on tasty treats, blankets, a scratching post and several sticks with feathers in the end.
The owner, Mrs. Paulson, smiled at her knowingly and said, "Someone is getting spoiled tonight."
And Waverly smiled back and brought everything to Nicole's house in two big bags. She dropped it all on the floor, and Nicole cooed and smiled that gorgeous smile of hers, while Calamity Jane didn't even give the new toys a whiff.
She later peed on the new cosy blanket and reciprocated by scratching a pattern all down Waverly's left arm.
—
She was cleaning out Mattie's barn – because Mattie used to be her friend, thank you very much – and contemplating this Calamity Jane business when she found a small, beautiful necklace. The pendant was star shaped and made out of iron – duh, Mattie was the blacksmith after all – and Waverly put it in her coat pocket to check it out at home when she had some time.
It was probably just another one of the homemade jewellery that Mattie used to make and sell to the townspeople, but Waverly had never gotten around to buying one of those, so it would be nice to have something to remember her friend by.
Wonder what Mattie would have said about Waverly's problems with Calamity Jane? She always used to have a solution for anything. Perhaps there was something Waverly was missing in regards to the cat. She'd have to think of other ideas when she got to Nicole's later.
—
Waverly did what she does best then. She researched.
She googled and read, and watched small documentaries on cats on youtube. She tried to play with Calamity Jane some more, but the cat just meowed and stared at her angrily.
She also tried to research the necklace, nose buried in her books and scrolls, languages almost not understandable if not for Waverly's optimistic work-ethic. Calamity Jane took a seat on the counter and watched her with eyes in small slits.
Waverly took a sip of her tea and held the necklace up for further investigation. Calamity Jane was blocking her light, and she nudged the cat slightly, urging her to move her butt, but not daring to touch. Touching had proved fatal in earlier circumstances and Waverly was not ready for a trip to the emergency room again. It had been really horrible to explain that the bite marks on her fingers were indeed from a small house cat and nothing more.
Nicole had said: "She just takes some time to warm up, Waves, it'll be better soon."
It never got better.
"Could you move, please, Calamity Jane?" Waverly whispered, her green eyes zooming in on the orange cat in front of her. She wanted so badly to understand what it was she was doing wrong. She wanted more than anything to get along with the cat so that she and Nicole and Calamity Jane could cuddle together on the couch and be a little gay family. I wish I could understand you, she thought with great feeling, and before Waverly knew what had happened, she felt a surge that started in the pit of her stomach, twirled like a roundabout through her limbs in slow motion, before the necklace clattered to the floor and everything turned black.
—
When she came to it, everything appeared much bigger somehow. She could feel the floor beneath her, although it felt slightly different and cushioned, and the ceiling appeared to be much further away, even though she could somehow make out every crack and fleck of dust.
She turned her head to the side and wanted to rub her sore shoulder, but somehow her arm was not cooperating. She squinted her eyes shut for a second, and when she opened them, Calamity Jane had her nose pressed all the way into Waverly's face. Her whiskers were right there, tickling her, but in a not entirely unpleasant way.
"What the hell?" Waverly breathed but she paused when the words that came out of her mouth didn't sound like her words at all. Instead a low purr escaped her throat, and Calamity Jane stared at her with wide eyes, before stepping closer and licking her tongue over Waverly's forehead. She could feel slight resistance as the cat moved her tongue, but it was nice, and Waverly felt herself relax immediately.
As Calamity Jane pulled back, Waverly tried once more to get off the floor, but her body was really not doing what she wanted it to at the moment. She tried to pull her upper back into a sitting position, but instead she ended up rolling onto her other side and paused when she caught sight of her own reflection in the glass door.
A pair of teal, round eyes stared back at her, and she was considerably more furry than she was used to.
She was a cat.
—
She was a fucking cat.
—
She panicked for a little while after finally rolling onto her stomach and standing on her four – four! – legs. And then she ran across the hardwood floor like someone was chasing her, jumped onto the coffee table, slid across the surface and onto the back of the couch before landing on the floor and staring around the room after this invisible chaser.
"Do you mind?" Calamity Jane asked, barely looking up from where she was busy licking her paw. She was lying leisurely across the floor, just chilling.
Waverly panted. "I'm a cat?" She turned and ran across the floor again, quicker and more lithe on her feet than she'd been in years, before pushing the door to the bathroom open and jumping into the sink to look at herself in the mirror.
She was a fucking cat.
A beautiful cat though. From what she could make out, she was a colourpoint sandy Ragdoll, with white paws, black legs and the significant patch of black on her face. She didn't know much about cats, but she'd done her research when she started dating Nicole. She'd wanted to know everything about the animal her girlfriend preferred, because she knew just how important it was to the other woman. So she'd studied the different races and the Ragdoll was definitely one of the more interesting ones. She could tell though, that she wasn't spotting the usual blue eyes, but that hers were rather the shape and colour of her own eyes.
Waverly opened her mouth, wanting to do something, not entirely sure what, but she had to do something, right? She couldn't just- oh a fly!
—
So that took a lot out of her, catching that fly. It was totally worth it though, because she got to play with it before she strolled into the living room again, looking for Calamity Jane. If anyone could help her, she'd maybe be it. Who knew more about being a cat than a cat?
Or maybe she could take a nap on the couch, hm? It looked so comfortable.
—
Three hours later Waverly woke up and stretched her back lazily. Her tail was pointing in the air, and she could hear movement in the kitchen. It sounded like Calamity Jane was eating. She yawned and took her time, jumping off the couch and following the sounds into Nicole's homey kitchen.
Calamity Jane was eating indeed, she was chewing and dropping crumbs everywhere, and Waverly sat in the doorway and silently watched her for a few seconds. Suddenly she felt quite hungry, but definitely thirsty, herself. She stepped closer, nudging her nose towards the water bowl.
"Can I have some?" She asked the other cat as it occurred to her that maybe Calamity Jane was not much for sharing. It definitely seemed like it with the way she was trying to wedge herself between Nicole and Waverly on any given time.
Nudging towards the bowl, Calamity Jane said, "Yes, you may have some, you foolish peasant cat."
Waverly bent her head and happily stuck her tongue into the water. It wasn't as easy, drinking this way, as she'd thought it might be. She had to sort of make a little ladle with her tongue for the water to gather in as she lapped it up. It worked though, and she hummed happily. "Why am I a cat?" She asked next, turning to Calamity Jane with questions in her eyes.
Calamity Jane licked around her face, clearly dirty after all that food. "Do I look like I know anything about your stupid human problems?" She yawned heavily, "Just be glad I'm too tired to chase you out of here."
As she moved to stroll into the living room again, Waverly followed after, bouncing on her feet and excited to finally have the other cat talking to her. "Why don't you like me?" She questioned, jumping onto the couch after the orange cat. She refused to let her slip away again, even if Waverly was starting to feel up for another nap. It had, after all, been twenty minutes since she awoke from her last one.
"You always give me room-temperature water from the tap, I like the cold water from the fridge," Calamity Jane replied as she circled around herself and tried to find a good spot on the couch.
Waverly sat regally, back straight and eyes trained on the other cat. "Oh, I didn't know. I'm sorry," she replied.
Calamity Jane glared at her with one eye, the other one closed in a semblance of sleep. "You needn't bother. Nicole's got it all figured out. She's a great human."
"Nicole is great," Waverly said, because that was definitely something they could agree on. Which was kind of why they were having these troubles to begin with.
"She's also my human," Calamity Jane added, before she closed her other eye and started to fall asleep.
Waverly circled around herself and fell into the couch right next to her.
—
They were both awoken by the sound of Nicole's boots entering the hallway. Waverly recognised them clearly, because they always made the same sound, and she cracked her eyes open, ears twisting sideways as she watched Calamity Jane do the same. She was about ready to get off the couch to greet her girlfriend when the other cat stretched and rolled onto her back, stomach facing upwards —- ready for scratches.
Waverly quickly did the same, stretching her arms and mewing lowly.
"Calamity Jane," Nicole greeted, but she came to a halt as she reached over the couch to scratch her cat's belly. "Who's you friend, CJ?" She crouched down on the floor beside the couch and reached a tentative hand out to touch Waverly's stomach. She was probably afraid that the cat would pounce on her, scared of an unfamiliar human, so Waverly made sure to purr loudly and show just how much she enjoyed the touch.
She could feel Calamity Jane's stink-eye from the other side of the couch.
Nicole chuckled – that beautiful, melodic chuckle of hers – and moved her fingers to scratch between Waverly's ears. "Oh, you're a beautiful, friendly one, aren't you?" She mused, brown eyes trailing over Waverly's body as she took in the sight of the unfamiliar cat on her couch. "You look well-fed and taken care of. Is someone missing you, huh baby?"
Feeling just a little bit smug, Waverly nudged her forehead into Nicole's palm, begging for more scratches. She wasn't too proud to beg, those scratches were good, and she was very familiar with what Nicole's fingers were capable of.
"You look like a Ragdoll," Nicole concluded softly, and Waverly felt a sense of pride, because that was what she'd also concluded herself, "but your eyes aren't blue," the redhead added, and Waverly stuck her tongue out and licked the woman's hand gently.
Calamity Jane obnoxiously swatted her paw to get Nicole's attention, and the redheaded woman laughed, using her other hand to scratch the Main Coon. "Yes, yes, CJ, I will never forget you, you're my baby, aren't you?" Cooing, Nicole's voice sounded so sweet, and Waverly felt herself melt at the sound and sight of her girlfriend. "Do you know where Waves is though? I've been trying to call her, but she's not picking up her phone…"
As Nicole pushed herself off the floor, Waverly sat up, following the woman's movement with her eyes. She wanted so desperately to convey to her girlfriend that she was indeed sitting right in front of her – because yeah, that might sound crazy and silly, but it was the truth after all – but how would she go about it? She meowed loudly and tried to gain Nicole's attention, but the woman just chuckled and paused as she caught sight of Waverly's discarded books and research. Most importantly – Waverly, the cat realised – her cell phone on the table and the necklace on the floor.
"Where are you, Waves?" Nicole's brow furrowed as she bent down to pick up the necklace. Waverly could tell that she was thinking a million things, because she had that look on her face, and really, it was not that stupid to get worried quickly, they did live in Purgatory after all.
Waverly meowed loudly, and Nicole turned to look at the cats in the couch, worry still evident in her eyes. "I've got to find Waves, kitties," she explained then, pulling herself off the floor and resting against the counter as she scanned Waverly's research. "I'll have to find your family later, okay?" She said the last part directed towards Waverly before she headed towards the hallway again, shuffling to get into her boots. "Be good for me, while I'm gone, okay you two?"
Meowing once more, Waverly jumped off the couch and ran into the hallway, tail held high, as she tried to tell Nicole that there was no reason to look for her, because she was right there and she was okay – besides from being a cat, but that seemed like nothing compared to other troubles they had found themselves in over time. "It's me, I'm Waverly!"
Nicole laughed and quickly reached a hand out to scratch her back. "You're real talkative, aren't you? If I can't find your family, I might have to keep you," she promised, before she slipped out of the house and locked the door behind her.
Calamity Jane appeared in the entrance into the living room, and she did not look pleased. "Well there you go, she's off again because of you," she commented, her eyes small slits as she glared at Waverly. "Always Waverly this, Waverly that."
Waverly felt an itch on her belly and she fell to her bottom as her leg moved to scratch it. "Is that it?" She scratched and scratched —- damn that was fucking good —- as she looked at the other cat. "Is that why you don't like me? 'Cuz Nicole doesn't have much time for you anymore?"
"I need to use the bathroom," Calamity Jane simply replied, before she slipped through the kitty door.
Grumbling, Waverly used this opportunity to snatch some food, because she was absolute famished. Sleeping around all day seriously made you hungry.
—
Calamity Jane was not answering any of her questions. She was too busy cleaning herself after her trip to the bathroom outside, much like she always did, directly in front of Waverly's face, and Waverly was lying on her back, watching her upside-down.
"Are you going to hate me forever? Are you?" She stretched her paws, gently touching Calamity Jane's tail. "I just wanna be friends. We both like Nicole. Why can't we share her?"
Staring intensely at Waverly, Calamity Jane stopped licking her butt. "I don't want to share her. She only has time to pet me. Don't you understand that?"
Waverly frowned. "But what if I were to pet you, huh? What if instead of one human you could get two," she proposed. She thought that that sounded very reasonable and like a pretty good deal. It didn't make sense to her how Calamity Jane could not understand that. Two humans were better than one, right?
Calamity Jane tumbled over, landing on her side as she stared at Waverly with huge, round eyes. "Two?"
"Mhmmm," Waverly replied, purring and sticking her tongue out. "Two humans. Double the petting. Is that what you want?"
"Are you going to get me the cold water from the fridge, too?" Calamity Jane demanded, now running her paws over her nose and licking them.
Waverly rolled around, landing on her stomach, tail flopping happily from side to side. "Yes! And are you going to stop peeing on me?"
Calamity Jane sounded aghast, "You don't like that?"
"No," Waverly shook her head. She definitely did not like that.
The other cat acquiesced. "Alright… If I can sleep in between you and Nicole in the bed."
It was a good compromise, and Waverly knew when to not push her luck. "Deal," she replied and she and Calamity Jane stared at each other, finding a common understanding. The orange tabby purred, seemingly pleased with herself, and Waverly couldn't help but think that it all finally made sense. Nicole might have insisted that all of Calamity Jane's behaviours were because she liked Waverly, but now Waverly knew better – for sure. Calamity Jane had never liked Waverly before, but Waverly also hadn't understood what it was the cat wanted.
She understood now. That was it, she understood.
And just as the thought flew through Waverly's mind, she felt the familiar tug in the pit of her stomach. There was a rumble, a crazy, slow one, and before Waverly knew what had happened, everything turned black.
—
She woke up splayed across the couch. Calamity Jane was staring at her, still lying on the cushion, sprawled out and enjoying herself. Waverly felt a bit dizzy, but she knew instantly that she was back to her usual, human self. Lifting a hand, she saw her fingers; she fisted her hand, then unfisted it, and a pleasant feeling seeped through her.
She had no idea what the necklace did, but she'd have to be careful around it until she was sure.
"Are you hungry, my sweet kitty?" Waverly asked the cat as she reached a hand out and scratched carefully between Calamity Jane's ears. For the first time ever, Calamity Jane didn't attack her, didn't claw her away and turn her head to the other side. No, she purred, looking happily at Waverly with squinted eyes and a little bit of drool at the corner of her mouth. "You want food," Waverly cooed in a low voice and pulled herself off the couch, padding her leg and chanting Calamity Jane's name.
She entered the kitchen, the orange tabby hot on her trail, and she got out the wet food, scooping a healthy amount into the cat's special bowl, before placing it on the floor in front of her. Calamity Jane didn't immediately dig in though; she watched Waverly with that certain look on her face, her tail sweeping the floor behind her, as it moved slowly from side to side.
Waverly laughed aloud and turned to grab the cold water pitcher from the fridge.
—
When Nicole returned to the house thirty minutes later, Waverly was nestled under three blankets on the couch, nursing a cup of tea, and most importantly – she had Calamity Jane snoozing in her lap, snoring loudly and with her belly on display.
"Oh Waves, there you are," Nicole happily sighed, as she slipped off her boots and came into the living room. Her face was pink from the cold, hair windblown, and Waverly thought she looked absolutely beautiful.
She beckoned her girlfriend closer and pulled her down for a quick kiss on the lips. "Hi sweetie pie."
Nicole smile brightly as they stared at each other, but when her eyes fell on the cat in Waverly's lap, her smile seemed to turn even bigger. "Wow Waves, you have CJ in your lap?" Her brown eyes were round. "See, I told you she'd just take some time to warm up to you!"
Waverly stroked her fingers through the fur on Calamity Jane's belly and watched as Nicole fell into the couch right next to her. "Yes, baby, you were right," she replied, fingers savouring the warmth of the animal in her lap.
The redheaded woman tucked an arm around Waverly's shoulders and pulled her closer, the other hand landing on Calamity Jane's belly as well. The cat purred in enjoyment. "I couldn't find you, for a second I thought something weird had happened," she explained, eyes focused on a tiny knot in Calamity Jane's fur. "I tried calling you, but I found your phone here."
"Sorry," Waverly sheepishly grinned, eyes shining with mirth, "I forgot and went for a long walk. I hope you weren't too worried, baby."
"It's okay," Nicole softly replied, raising her eyes to meet Waverly's. "So… what have you been up to today?"
Staring down at the cat in her lap, Waverly could barely hold back her grin. "Not much really. It's just been… calm and quite," she wiped her tongue over her teeth, stalling for time, "purrrfect."
Nicole offered her a confused look, and Calamity Jane meowed loudly from her lap.
Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this silly oneshot. Please leave a review with your thoughts, it means so much to me!