LANDRY to LAWSIUTS
Disclainer: I own my insomnia and a two-inch figurine of Gumby.
[Warning: This story may contain situations that some people might not find suitable for normal, sane, or semi-concious readers. Your IQ may drop 12-15 pionts. Viewer descression (whatever that means) advised.]
Hey, guess what! Superman mixed up his red cape into Aquaman's tightie-whities, turning all his underwear pink and Aquaman mistook the accident as if Superman was trying to imply that he was gay. Superman said that he was sorry and that he understood if Aquaman didn't want to be his super-friend anymore. Then Aquaman again mistook it as a sign that he was gay. So Aquaman confessed his TRUE feelings for Superman, (which i won't say 'cause children may be reading this) and as you can guess, Superman was extremely insulted so he hung up his tights and left the super-friends forever.
That made Batman sad because Superman was his best friend. So Batman called Catwoman and she agreed to eat Aquman's pet fish, Fluffy. Aquaman was emotionally distressed so he called his old college mates, The Ginyu Squad. Together, the prissy males came to the conclusion that this was a hate-crime committed by the AGC (Anti Gay Community.)
With vengeance on their minds, Aquaman and the Ginyu Squad decided to call the AGC and give them a piece of their minds....through a prank phone call. Aquaman dialed the number and was shocked to hear Wonderwoman's voice on the other line. Their super-friendship imediately went down the drain.
Wonderwoman called Aquaman a fag so he called her a man and so she said that he wished she were a man so Aquaman started blushing. Captain Ginyu grabbed the phone and said that Wonderwoman dressed like a skank which made her a poor role-model for little children. So she said that Captain Ginyu was related to Barney so he said something about her mama.... Next thing the gay friends knew, their appartment was surrounded by members of the AGC wielding pitch-forks and Ramen Noodles. Aquaman rolled on the floor in the fetal-position as the Ginyu Squad squeeled like little girls. Then the Power Rangers popped out of nowhere and this is where the real friutiness begins....
The AGC had no choice but to retreat as they knew all too well that no amount of Ramen Noodles could help them against the "awesome" power of the Mighty Masterbating Power Rangers AND the cousin of Barney.
It seemed that with Superman and Wonderwoman no longer super heroes, Catwoman at the vet on acount of a fish bone lodged in her esophogus, and Batman emotionally scarred for life due to the of the shock of discovering that his best friend was persude by a gay guy, no one could stop the homosexual Hell rising!
That is...untill a faint cry rose in the distance. It would appear that someone had been over looked. Some super hero was watching....waiting....somehow imune to the sudden overflow that was caused by the many people coming out of their closets. But who...? Who could not be effected? Who could manage to not run in fear of the fags and come out with their straight sexuallity? One man....One man alone.... His mighty cry could be heard again, and so Aquaman and the Ginyu Squad all looked the direction to find...... (Drum roll)
SAIYAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN!! .................................that explains it. Yes, the Great Saiyman!! He leaped through the air and did a little dance. Then waved his arms around in various motions and movements stoping in a pose that resembled "The Little Teapot". It all came down to this.... A DANCE-OFF!!
"To uphold justice!!" Saiyaman cried.
"To hug trees!!" the Power Rangers cried back.
They stared eachother down in preparation to the dancing that was about to take place as Aquaman toyed around with his hot-pink boombox. "Ready!" he asured as he pressed play. Saiyaman and the Power Rangers struct their first pose as the boombox suddenly came to life "Let's. Get. PHYSICAL!!" (Saiyman, the Power Rangers, and the Ginyu Squad all fell over anime style)
"NOT THAT SONG YOU FAGGOT!!" they all yelled. Aquaman almost started to cry as he reluctantly took his favorite CD out and replaced it with dramatic fight music found in the movies.
The green ranger fell first. Next one to run out of dance-moves was the yellow ranger and then the red. The blue guy tripped in a dramatization of slow motion while pleading to the pink ranger to go on without him. She nodded and continued dancing.
Eventually she ran out of Brittney Spears dance-steps and so she switched to Christina Aqullaire. Those didn't last long and she grew desparate. She had no choice....she could either forfeit or she could dance like....Jessica Simpson. Unfortuately, she lacked decent morallity and so she kept on dancing and to the innocent bystanders' distaste, spared no one's innocence. But eventually, Saiyaman prevailed.
"She was strong...." Saiyaman said."But she was still an evil bad guy and evil bad guys never win! HA! HA! HA!"
"Nuuuuuuuuuu!!" Aquaman cried. "Fuffly would be so ashamed!!"
"Enough, fish doer!" Saiyaman said. "Are you gonna come quietly?!"
"That depends...." Aquaman replied. "Your place or mine?" That was enough to make poor unsuspecting Saiyaman pass out.
"What?! I thought you liked me?!" Captain Ginyu cried in envy.
"Of course." Aquaman reasured. "I only said that to catch him off guard, i didn't think he'd pass out."
"You mean he's NOT gay?" one of the squad members asked one gasped.
"Of course he's not gay!" Aquaman shouted, clearly being offended that Saiyaman could be considered one of his own. "A gay guy would have the decentcy to know that that cape totally clashes with those boots!" The Ginyu Squad, along with witnessing pedestrians, all nodded in agreement.
"Tee-hee-he-he!!" (Aquaman's manical laughter) "And now there is no one to stop us!! From now on, all faggots will be free to crawl out from the deepest, darkest depths of their closets! We will walk proudly among the straights and we will kick them with our high-heels untill they are no longer straight and then we will reign the dominant lifestyle!!....that is....untill our species slowly die out from the lack of knowledge on how to A-sexually reproduce. Hmmm...." Aquaman sat down to think. "You know what, maybe being gay isn't such a wise decision after all...."
"To late to stop now." Captain Ginyu said as he and Aquaman held hands. Was there no one else left who could stop the the rise of the retards?! Was there anyone else who was fruity enough to be imune to the gayness yet straight enough to remain apart of the AGC?! Yes! There was! Forget when i said that there was only one MAN who could stop them, because i realized my mistake. No offense guys, but your gender is stupid!
So....One GIRL....One girl alone....She may be a psycho bitch who could rival her mother-in-law when wielding a frying-pan, but her time with Saiyaman left her as the last hope. She was....... Saiyaman's GIRL-FRIEND, who else?
Saiyaman #2 glared at Aquaman. "Who are you?" Aquaman asked. ....He just HAD to ask.
"Me?" she said. "I am..." she waved her arms in the air as if she had pompoms. "Defender of the innocent!" She twirled around "Protecter of the week!" She marched in place. "Saiyaman #2!" She was now in some dramatic pose while pointed her two fingers into a V for victory. (Sorry about what i said guys, appearently we girls can be stupid too.)
The Ginyu Squad was taking mental notes of her actions as they started to daydream about someday using her poses them selves, while the blue Power Ranger weekly sat up. "So you're his girlfriend?" he asked with a hint of dissapointment.
"Yeah?"
"Dammit, i thought he was gay!!" the blue guy whined. Every one stared at him and
Saiyaman #2 got madd. "HOW DARE YOU ACUSE MY BOYFRIEND OF BEING GAY YOU F****** S***-HEADED B******!! GET YOUR SORRY A** UP HER SO I CAN F****** KICK THAT D*** UGLY FACE OF YOURS TO H*** YOU....!!" (that continued for a while)
"I thought you were dieing?" Captain Ginyu asked the blue ranger.
"Oh yeah...." he layed back down. "I'M MELTING!!!!"
"Ok...?" Saiyaman #2 said. "Anyway....YOU F******* B******!!"
"Ok, #2!!" Aquaman shouted. "Are we gonna dance or what?"
"Why the Hell would you wanna dance with me, i thought you were a homosexual?"
"This is a dance-off." he answered.
"Forget that!" she powered up and readied herself to charge at the guy, when Saiyaman weekly sat up.
"Videl...." he said dramatically whispered.
"Gohan!" she ran up to him. "Are you ok?! Did they hurt you?! Did their fruitiness rubb off on you?!" she was now craddlig him in her arms.
"I need...I need..."
"Yes, what is it?! What do you need?!"
Saiyaman leaned into her ear and whipsered. "A tailor...."
"What? Why?"
"Because....." he jumped up. "I ripped my pants!!"
..........Silence.......................................................
Saiyman #2 punched her boyfriend and he became unconcious once again. "Alright you faggots!" she yelled. "I know that Saiyaman was never what you'd call "normal", but you guys must have f***** with him or something because you TURNED HIM INTO A RETARD!!"
"Blame Nickalodeon! not us!! not us!!" the pink ranger pleaded. Videl was angry. She powered up and blasted away all the Power Rangers and the Ginyu Squad minus their captain. Aquaman and his boyfriend slowly backed away.
"What-what are you gonna do with us...?" he asked.
"If i simply killed you then you'd play with eachother in Hell, so...." she smirked. "I'll see you in court!" Saiyaman #2 walked over to her boyfriend and picked him up, and then she flew off. Just as The Village People leaped from the brushes doing the YMCA to top it all off.
The....End...?
0 Bob's cookie!!