A/N: Thanks to Dazz for being my beta and mediate89 just for cracking me up. Hope you all enjoy the story :)
Disclaimer: Everything that's SM's is hers the rest is mine!
Chapter one: Before
Heaven is a place nearby
So I won't be so far away
And if you try and look for me
Maybe you'll find me someday
Lene Marlin ~ A Place Nearby
I took a deep breath and let the smells overwhelm my senses. It smelled wonderful, a mixed of wet grass, moss and wolf. It didn't bother me like I thought it would, it made everything feel more comforting and familiar. This was my home, where I was meant to be. I knew that but it didn't make being here easier. I didn't know if the other wolves would help me or what they were like. I wished my sister were with me, She was always the wise one. But she was gone now, and I was alone.
I thought back to when this all started, back to that horrible day when I lost everyone I loved because of what I was, because someone wanted to use my power and me. I had only started shifting for a few weeks so my grandmother recommended that I go to a forest and shift everyday just to be sure I didn't loose my temper at school. I also tried using my powers on trees and rocks but it always ended with things burning or exploding. You see, ever since I had shifted for the first time, I could transform my emotions into energy and transfer it through my palms. Well, that's what we thought it was, because I couldn't really control it and there was no way of telling what was actually happening.
After an hour or so of training I got sick of it and headed home. As I got closer to my apartment building something started tickling my nose. It was disgustingly sweet and all my instincts went into overdrive. I was at the bottom of my building and I could clearly hear what was going on inside. There were only two heartbeats but there were definitely more people. I couldn't move. I knew I needed to do something but nothing happened. I just stood there in the entrance of the building with my back against the wall and listened.
"Where is she?" It was a man's voice and it sent shivers through my spine. I felt my fingers dig into the wall behind me.
"I don't know what you want, but you might as well finish this quickly so we can save everyone time," my mother answered. My heart stopped at the sound of her words. What did she mean by 'finish it'? I tried again to get my legs to move but it was like I didn't control it anymore. I could hear and see everything but when I tried to do anything my body didn't respond.
"Very well," the man continued, "we'll find her without you."
There was a movement, like something was being dragged, I heard my mother whisper "Run" and just like that my legs started moving. I didn't know where I was going but I didn't care. I didn't care either that I was definitely going much faster than any human could. I just ran, as fast as I could and as far as I could and let my instincts guide me.
I don't know how long I ran and I didn't really pay attention if anyone noticed me or followed me. I ended up at my grandmother's house, which seemed to be the most rational thing to do given that she was the one who had explained about being a wolf. She would know what had just happened. The door flew open and I was pulled inside. My instincts kicked in again and I started violently shaking. I let out a very deep growl and pushed my attacker against the wall.
"It's just me," my grandmother's voice soothed me, "I just didn't want anyone to see you. Please try to calm down. If you shift now, you'll just bring attention to us."
I relaxed slightly when I realized what was going on but it took me a long time to stop shaking. When I was calm enough to think clearly I started to replay the recent events in my head. Little by little I realized what had happened and I collapsed to the floor. My mother had been killed. My mother had been killed and I ran. Instead of saving her I just ran away. I felt warm arms wrap around me but I pushed them away.
"It's going to be alright," she whispered, "You did the right thing you know."
"It…it's all…" I stuttered between sobs "all because… because of me. " I finished, pushing her arms away from me when she tried again to pull me into her arms. I didn't want her to comfort me. I didn't deserve it.
"Now you listen to me," she said in a firm voice, "this is not your fault! You need to calm down and listen because we don't have very much time." She grabbed my face and forced me to look at her.
"I don't want to listen," I yelled at her and I felt my body start to shake again, "I'm sick of this. I don't want to be a wolf. I don't want powers! I just want it all to go away!" I felt so childish but I didn't care. I wanted to go back to when the biggest problem in my life was which ice cream flavor I liked. "I want my mommy back…"
"I know you do and I wish I could bring her back to you, but we can't," my grandmother whispered, sitting down next to me and pulling my chin up to look at her. "We can't bring her back but you can make her proud. She died saving you and you need to prove that she made the right choice. You need to become a strong woman and use your powers for good things. Most importantly you have to get away from whatever's after you. Do you understand me?"
She was right, I needed to live so mother's death wouldn't be in vain. I didn't know how to do that, but I was pretty sure my grandmother had everything planed out. I nodded at her so she continued. "I had papers made for you a while ago, they say that you're 16 and emancipated. Now I don't want to know where you're going so I had them made for many different countries. I also put all of my money in an account in your new name; you'll have more than enough to do whatever you want for a while if you're careful. You need to hide and under no circumstances are you to let whatever that was at your house get you."
I couldn't say anything, I couldn't even think straight. Where should I go? Why wasn't she coming with me? How was I going to run from something I knew nothing about? I had so many questions to ask but the only thing that came out was "I love you" and I threw myself into her open arms.
We sat like that for a few minutes before she started to push me away. I didn't want to get up because I knew that this was the last time I'd see her.
"We don't have much time honey," she whispered pushing me up, I gave in and got to my feet. She walked over to the table, pulling me along with her and picked up a bag that was sitting on a chair. She slid it on my arm before pulling me into a hug. This all seemed so final. I didn't cry though, I even forced myself to smile when she pulled back to look at me. "Everything you need is in that bag, go now and know that no matter what we will never be far."
"I love you grandma," was all I could say as I turned and slowly walked away. I didn't look back, afraid I wouldn't be able to leave if I did. As soon as I was out the door I started running.
I ran for months, I ran as far as I could and for as long as I could. I lost track of time and where I was. When I got to inhabited places I wondered through the cities as a human and went wolf as soon as I was far enough to be sure no one would see me. I mourned for my family; the pain of losing them was almost unbearable. I never smelled their attacker so I guessed he wasn't following me but I still didn't know where I was going to stop and I didn't want to so I just kept on running. I stopped only when my feet wouldn't carry me anymore or when the hunger became stronger than the pain.
Then finally one day, I collapsed on the forest floor. I don't know where I was but I was done running. My body shifted back into human form and for the first time in months I cried. I cried until the tears wouldn't come any more and somewhere along the way I feel asleep.
I dreamt I was in a forest that I seemed to know but I was pretty sure I'd never been there before. I heard a howl and immediately started running to where the sound was coming. I realized I could here others speaking but it was very strange, like they were talking in my head. Everything was so confusing. Before long, I reached a clearing and I could see four wolves waiting for me. What was strange is I could see myself through their eyes and it wasn't me. I was normally a very light reddish-brown wolf but in my dream I was sandy brown.
"Alice had a vision," the russet wolf thought, "it's not very clear but she's pretty sure the Volturi are after someone and since she can't see who it is she thinks it's a half-breed."
I had no idea what he was talking about but somehow I felt like I did.
"Bella and Edward are going to go with her to try to help whoever they're after, I want Embry and Quil to go with them to help," the russet wolf continued, turning toward a chocolate wolf as he whined. The image of a small girl popped into my head and I felt a enormous wave of love. "I know Quil, but Alice says that's who she needs coming with her. She's getting better at guessing around us and this is the best choice. I'm sorry about Claire, I swear someone will go watch her everyday so that you can see her."
"Well we wouldn't want to contradict the leeches now would we?" the grey wolf sitting at his right said and it was my turn to whine though I wasn't really sure why I didn't like her calling them leeches. She just rolled her eyes at me before adding. "So how do we know this half breed even wants our help? Maybe it wants to go to the Volturi."
"Don't bet against Alice, Lee, " the last wolf added. He was grey with a few black spots and I felt drawn towards him. I tried to get closer to him but my body didn't move.
"Yeah, she knows what she's talking about Lee. If she says someone needs our help then someone needs our help," I said, but my thoughts weren't mine, I hadn't thought that but the body I was in did. It was a male voice and it felt so familiar.
Then everything went blurry and what I dreamt of next I don't remember. When I woke up, I knew that no matter what I needed to find the wolves in my dream. I hoped they were real and if they were I knew where to find them: the place my great grandmother had gotten pregnant, the place where my curse came from, La Push, Washington.
And so for the first time in months I knew what I was going to do. I figured out where I was, by wondering to the nearest city. Apparently I was in Estonia so I ran to the capital, Tallinn, and found the airport to try to get a flight to America. Pretty soon I was on a flight to Seattle.
Once I got there, I bought a car and drove to Portland. Luckily, my mom had taught me how to drive when I turned 14 and my grandmother had thought of having a driver's license done along with the other papers. I then found a realtor and told him I wanted a house in La Push. Of course, he thought it was weird that a 16-year-old girl was buying a house so it took about a month for him to verify everything. I didn't go to La Push. I felt like I should only go there once everything was done, it was probably foolish of me but I felt more comfortable that way.
The realtor found me a beautiful house, which was way too big for me but I bought it anyways because my mom would have loved it. I went and bought furniture and clothes and anything I thought I might need in my new life. I must admit that I went a little crazy with the shopping and bought way too much stuff, but I had a big empty house to fill and hopefully I would soon have some friends over to see it. I held on to that hope to keep me going and with everyday that past the pain I in my heart slowly started to fade. I still missed them but I knew they were watching over me.
So there I was, June 17th 2010, six months after my life was changed forever, standing in front of my house in La Push and ready to start a new life with people I didn't know but I would learn to trust, people I would learn to love as much more than just friends. When I walked into my new house I wasn't ready for everything that was going to happen here. I thought it would be a simple task: either they helped me or they didn't. I had never been so wrong in my life.
My name is Haven Ellis and this is my story.