Author's Note: This is a standalone companion piece to Chapter 8 of How to Date a Vulcan and Protocols for Human Courtship. I've never written anything remotely like this, and it's taken a few days to pluck up the courage to post it. I've deleted and rewritten it about half a dozen times, and I'm terrified to read any reviews it may end up receiving. I keep my flame retardant suit on at all times (excellent advice for any modern user of the Internet), but I would nervously take any feedback or constructive criticism.
They were going to bond. Really bond. As Sarek inched closer, Amanda started to feel a remarkable sense of trepidation.
When she had agreed to allow him to initiate the telepathic mating bond, it had seemed like a logical step to progress their relationship. He was afraid of hurting her, and this was supposed to be a solution to that. Now she wondered if she really was ready. Too late now.
There was an eternity between them as he cautiously reached his hands forward, and then they were one. He tightly gripped her face and a more powerful, singular emotion than anything she'd yet experienced raced through her. For a fleeting moment, she was both Sarek, and herself.
She couldn't breathe and couldn't pull herself away. His hold on her face tightened, and she gasped for air. When she inhaled, she felt the pull of a deep energy coming from within him and began experiencing flashes of events she could not explain. The whole of his existence flew past her consciousness like pages of a book being scattered by wind.
She couldn't make sense of any of it, and felt her own life's memories dispersing in all directions. For the briefest instant, she felt as though her mind were entirely blank. It was so terrifying that she began to struggle against him, and he loosened his grip.
"Amanda?"
His voice was perfectly clear in her mind and instantly calming. She realized her eyes were closed tightly, and opened them to find he was staring intently at her. Almost hungrily.
She glanced away to the wall, struggling to recall anything about herself. All of her memories, thoughts, and feelings were gone. And then they weren't. They burst back into focus, and she was overwhelmed by the exhilaration of it. She felt a release of adrenaline, and trailed her eyes upwards to meet his. They were dark and intense.
His hands pulled away from her face. Only then did she realize she was shaking and panting.
"Sarek?" she gasped.
Her words seemed to ricochet and echo off of every fiber of her being. It was confusing and frightening, being aware of him as completely as she was of herself.
"Relax."
It was strange to look at him and see that he wasn't actually speaking, but to know that his thoughts were being projected toward her. She shook her head and blinked. Her body felt completely alien, and her trembling escalated to quaking.
Amanda instinctively moved forward and embraced him, and he nervously put his arms around her waist. She rested her head on his chest and listened to the flow of oxygen through his lungs. She detected a fragment of anxiety from him, and attempted to reach his mind.
"Are you ok?"
"Are you?"
"I think so?"
She had communicated telepathically with Sarek briefly on a few previous occasions when he'd melded his mind to hers, but doing it now, completely independent of his hands upon her face, was thrilling. For the first time, she understood just how deep his thoughts and emotions were. They stood that way for several minutes as her consciousness slowly settled, and she marveled at what she was experiencing.
The longer they remained locked together, the more aware she became of his growing arousal, and her body seemed to involuntarily respond. She breathed harder still, and she turned her face to bury it in his chest.
"Amanda," he breathed aloud.
She pulled back slightly and kissed him gently, tracing her fingers down his cheek. When she drew away, she understood the voracious look in his dark eyes matched the swell of emotion hidden deep within him. It was uniquely and inexplicably erotic.
She felt her skin flush and her pupils dilate, and watched his follow suit. When they kissed again, it was mutually ravenous, and Sarek began to press his body against hers. She pushed back, and shoved him hard into the wall. Her aggression astonished her and she started to shrink away in apology. His face bore an uncharacteristic amount of surprise, but his eyes remained fixed on her.
He pulled at her shirt and kissed her more passionately, drawing her close to him again. She was momentarily thrown off balance, but he caught her, and she returned his advances feverishly.
They began to stumble backward through the half-open bedroom door and she started pulling off his overcloak. He shrugged his shoulders and freed himself of it, and she ran her hands underneath his shirt and pushed it upward. The sensation of her fingertips on his abdomen was very nearly electric, and he leaned forward slightly to assist her in pulling the garment over his head.
In the dimly lit room, she could see his torso was sinewy and covered in a sparse layer of dark hair, and she observed the lean muscle of his chest.
He stepped forward and pushed her t-shirt up, and she slowly hunched her shoulders and allowed him to pull it off. The tension between them was growing, and the almost predatory way he was staring at her was slightly unnerving.
He seemed to sense her unease, and she felt the touch of his mind against hers say, "I do not want to frighten you. Do you wish to stop?"
She looked in his eyes and perceived a renewed tenderness. Her chest was heaving by now; she breathed deeply and shook her head. He ran his hands along her bare ribs and pulled her body closer to his and kissed her patiently. The intense longing was still within him, but she felt the tremendous effort he was exerting to maintain his control.
She brushed her hands on his naked flesh and reached down to his belt. He quivered and his body reflexively tensed.
"Is this ok?" she asked softly.
"Yes."
His voice inside of her startled her slightly, and Amanda wondered if she would ever get used to communicating that way. She bit her lip and began to unfasten his belt with shaking hands. Her took them gently to steady them, and soon his trousers fell to the floor.
She felt herself melting into nervous energy, and when he took her by her waist, she almost jumped with expectation. He wheeled her around and set her on her back onto the bed. She sat up slightly, and reached her arms behind her back to unclasp her gray cotton bra. She paused for a fraction of a second before letting the undergarment fall into her lap.
He cocked his head slightly and observed her petite breasts, then slowly grabbed her hips and pushed her further up onto the bed and crawled over her on all fours and began kissing her throat and chest. She felt an immediate wetness between her legs and craned her neck to kiss him back.
He sat up on his knees and placed his hands on the button to her shorts. He hesitated, and she sensed renewed apprehension. She pushed his hands away forcefully and undid the button and pushed down the zipper.
"You are certain?"
There was a strange mix of both distress and stimulation in his eyes, and she knew whatever it was he was feeling, she felt the same way.
"Yes."
He shifted his weight to remove her shorts, pulling her gray panties down with them. She felt shy lying completely naked underneath him, but it also felt acutely natural.
She breathed nervously and ran her palm along the bulge beneath the fabric of his underwear, then gripped the waistband and gently tugged downward. He leaned forward slightly and wriggled to free himself of his last piece of clothing. She sat up and gripped his neck to pull him on top of her. He stopped just short of bearing his weight onto her small frame, and seemed to hesitate for a brief instant before running his left hand down her abdomen to the inside of her thighs.
His fingers touched the wetness between her legs; she trembled in anticipation, and arched her back to draw her hips toward him. Just the simple touch of his fingertips there was nearly orgasmic. She felt herself beginning to blush while his fingers traced over her most sensitive parts, and she turned her head and half closed her eyes.
When he guided himself into her, she gasped, and then stifled a scream.
He froze.
"I'm ok," she thought frantically, locking eyes with him pleadingly. "I'm ok."
"You are certain?"
"Yes!"
Her vehemence clearly startled him, but he remained motionless while she caught her breath. She almost felt like she was tearing, but after a few moments, her muscles relaxed and the pain faded. She gently pushed into him, drawing him in deeper.
It was a curious sensation, being able to experience both his pleasure and her own pain through their recent bond. Intermingled with it all was concern and curiosity, though she wasn't sure if those feelings were his or hers, or both. He paused patiently to allow her to adjust to the feel of him, and when she'd sufficiently relaxed again, he seemed to intuitively sense it, and slowly began to thrust into her.
The slight edge of pain was overpowered by the enormous amount of pleasure she felt pulsing from him. She'd never been so attuned to another being, and she began to lose herself in the moment and dug her fingers into the muscles of his back.
He craned his neck to kiss her cheeks, throat, and mouth, and she returned his kisses passionately. She moaned and panted, feeling herself grow dizzy with euphoria at the sound of the chorus of their soft vocalizations.
As they fell into a quicker rhythm, she began to feel an unfamiliar tension rising low in her belly. It soon became vibrantly irresistible, and she wrapped her legs around him and more readily rocked her hips into his. Just as she wondered if she was about to climax, it began to happen.
Her muscles seized, startling them both, and the sensation was so pleasurable that it immediately consumed her. She yelped and dug her nails into his back, and she felt the pain she was causing him rush through her. She loosened her fingers from his flesh and grasped the quilt on the bed tightly, almost instinctively trying to push away from him and the intoxicating feeling of her orgasm.
They both hesitated for several seconds, before she grabbed the small of his back and forced herself back toward him. He gripped her left shoulder tightly and frantically, holding her place for several more thrusts, until she felt a powerful release from him.
His ecstasy added to hers and made her scream. It was overwhelming, and soon she found she was struggling to breathe. Sarek's body quickly slackened, and he adjusted his weight to his right hand and gently touched her cheek with his left. The sensation of this simple, affectionate gesture was instantly calming.
He didn't have to speak, and neither did she. The hormones coursing through her body, coupled with the intense bond they'd just formed bridged the silence better than words. Their eyes met, and she felt an incredible rush of love and joy.
He gently lifted himself to settle his body on her right side and she rolled to face him. Her eyelids felt heavy, and she rested her forehead on his chest.
"I love you," she whispered aloud, feeling herself fading into sleep.
The last thing she felt was the tingling sensation of his fingertips brushing through her hair, and the unspoken impression that he loved her in return more than anyone else ever had. More than anyone else probably ever could.
Sarek's eyes trailed along the outline of Amanda's naked body. The pale light from the main room streamed in through the opening in the bedroom door and cast a soft silhouette over the curve of her left hip and breast.
He suppressed his desire to touch her for fear he would disturb her. The rate at which she'd fallen asleep had been surprising, but he felt content in the moment to observe the subtle rise and fall of her chest and feel the soft rush of her exhalations across his skin.
It had been careless to rush into mating with her immediately after forming a bond, but he did not regret his actions, and had sensed through their recent connection that neither did she. Hastily made decisions were not always illogical decisions, after all. He had not injured her, and she had not injured him, excepting several deep scratches on his back.
He still worried about his ability to properly restrain himself from injuring her during his next pon farr, but that was still several years away, and they would have time to strengthen their bond before then. He had been about to discuss the complexities of the Vulcan reproductive cycle with her when she suggested they form a mating bond. It had been an excuse to avoid an extremely private conversation, but it was not one he could avoid forever.
The damp air chilled him, and he carefully pulled the folded quilt at the foot of the bed over them both. She snuggled closer to him in her sleep, and he closely examined the features of her face. He had held her while she slept once before, but now, through their bond, he was seeing this woman in an entirely new way. He wanted to commit everything to memory.
There were tiny, faint brown spots across the bridge of her nose and small creases at the corners of her eyes. Her bone structure was slight and angular, and he carefully considered the slope of her jaw and brow. She was beautiful: he had always thought so.
She shifted in her sleep and startled herself awake. He could feel her mind rapidly focusing, and cast his eyes downward to meet hers. They were dark and wide and filled with a peculiar radiance that derived from an emotion with which he was unfamiliar.
Neither of them spoke, rather, he touched the fringes of her consciousness with his own. It was clearly a very alien experience for her, because the expressions on her face rapidly rotated between confusion, fear, joy, and calm.
"I love you," she said through their bond.
Her words echoed in his mind, forceful and loud. He realized he would have to teach her to express herself a little more subtly, but for now, he took pleasure in simply having their minds joined.
She gently stroked his face with her left hand, and leaned forward to kiss him. He found himself quickly growing aroused again, and before he could tamp the desire within himself, she ran her hand down his waist to the inside of his upper thighs.
Just as Amanda would need to learn to communicate more effectively through their bond, he would have to learn to better control his baser urges for her. But for now, at least, there was little logic in denying what they both wanted after they had already indulged once.
He gently turned her onto her stomach and straddled her, then lowered himself to just above her back. He gently kissed the soft, dark hairs on the back of her neck, causing her to shiver.
When he entered her, she uttered a low moan, and like before, he paused to allow her to adjust to the sensation of joining themselves together. Amanda was reckless with her body, and impatiently bucked her hips back to urge him to continue, though he could feel it was causing her marginal pain.
Her enthusiasm to mate despite the discomfort it caused her was puzzling. He breathed deeply to refocus himself, and refused to continue until he sensed she was more physically ready. He pushed his mind outward to calm her, and she exhaled slowly. Her muscles began to loosen, and he slid deeper into her, absorbing the sensation of their mutual gratification.
They still had much to learn, but their second mating was better, as it was less frenzied and they were more attuned to one another. They moved slowly and in tandem, and he supported himself on his right arm and used his left to explore her pale, smooth skin.
She pushed herself onto all fours and he rocked back onto his knees. He ran his hands along her chest, brushing his fingers over her small pink nipples and grasped her breasts firmly. She yelped at this more aggressive gesture, and he perceived a twinge of pain from her.
"Forgive me," he whispered mentally, releasing his grip and sliding his hand down her back to rest it on her waist.
She was panting and moaning loudly, and she rose slightly on her knees until her back made contact with his chest. She reached backwards and grabbed the back of his neck with her right hand, and turned her face to kiss him.
He felt the same swell of ecstasy budding within her that had occurred during their previous mating, and she began to shake uncontrollably. Her pelvic muscles seized, and she emitted a primal wail that sent him over the edge. His own body stiffened with his release, and they quickly collapsed back onto the bed in exhaustion and lingering pleasure.
Her skin glittered with perspiration and her eyes were half closed. She turned away and molded her body against him, pulling the quilt over them both. The warmth of her skin on his was immeasurably satisfying, and she soon resumed her earlier slumber. He brushed the dark tendrils of hair from her damp cheek.
It was a moment he wished to preserve forever in his memory.
Amanda. His mate.