All Harry Potter characters and places belong to the amazing J.K.Rowling, the storyline and some characters belong to me! The chapter title belongs to James Blunt.
This story is based on a song fic I have done called "Out of my mind". Please check it out!
I would like to thank Lady Lily Malfoy for inspiring me to do this! Check out her fics as well, their awesome!
Out of my mind
Draco Malfoy ran like he had never run before.
His father had told him to be back by 9!
"Draco, you do know this Is a privilege that I am allowing you to go out, don't you?"
He had his hand clasped like iron on Draco's shoulder.
"Don't you"! He added more menacingly.
"Yes, father, of course" Draco almost stuttered, but he knew better then to show such signs of weakness.
"Good, you are to be back by 9, not a second after, do you understand?"
His note of finality was so strong that it left Draco merely nodding.
"Go, now, get out of my sight!"
Draco bowed and hurried out without a backward glance.
But now it was 10. Why? Draco pleaded with himself, why did I let Crabbe and Golye talk me into staying? Well, it wasn't really under his control, they were at the hogshead, he knew he was under age to have fire whisky so he didn't touch it, surprising for a Malfoy right? But Crabbe and Golye were absolutely hammered. And a drunk Crabbe and Golye were not who Draco wanted to argue with.
So it was that Draco was rushing for his life, yes, maybe his life. Or at least a limb, for he knew that Lucius was not a forgiving human being and could be very violent.
He remembered when he was 6 and he had borrowed his father's wand, he knew he shouldn't have done it now, but back then it seemed like a very ingenious idea. He had broken a vase. No one was hurt and it could be mended in a second, but Lucius was furious. Completely blinded by rage he had underestimated how strong Draco's arm was, and broke it. That's something that can't be so easily mended.
Draco shuddered at the memory, he couldn't remember screaming so much in his life, but his father had said he deserved it, and that he was lucky he hadn't done worse.
Draco stopped suddenly, staring up at the wrought iron gates, painted thick black, the Malfoy M shining in the moon light of the winter.
Fear clenched his heart, but he had to go on, he would suffer worse if he didn't go now.
He took a pin that he kept in his pocket, and quickly jabbed his hand.
A miniscule drop of scarlet pure blood ran down his surprisingly slender hand, he had his mothers hands, but he had his fathers strong jaw and pointed face, his fathers slate grey eyes with a splash of his mothers blue ones, making them look just a bit more friendly. He shared both his parents white blond hair, soft and of such a striking colour, it made them look almost Vella. Even though he had his father's features he had his mother's looks, not that his father was that ugly but his mother was that beautiful. And he was always grateful that he wasn't just his father's son in looks.
He let the drop of blood fall on the gates key hole, and the gate opened. It drove thieves mad that they couldn't open the gate or find a key; all they needed was a drop of Malfoy blood.
If any one of them found out, it would mean great danger to the Malfoys. Of course the ministry could apparate in, but only they were allowed inside the great manor, Lucius would have preferred them not to be able to get in, but it was the law. And if the secret of Lucius being a deatheater was to stay safe, he had to follow the law.
As Draco rushed up the path that led to the great front door he wondered how different his father would be if he wasn't a deatheater. Maybe kinder, and with not such a violent temper, but the truth was he was a deatheater, and even worse, Draco had to become one to.
But he pushed that out of his mind, no matter how much it scared him, what awaited him scared him more.
He reached the door and again let a drop of blood fall on the key hole, he walked in, panting, and the door locked it self, he was trapped inside a prison he was forced to call home.
He tiptoed up the stairs; maybe his father didn't have to find out? But then.
"Draco", his father spoke in an icy tone, deep and menacing. "Would you care to tell me what the time is?"
Draco wheeled slowly around, he met his father's gaze, not with fear, but with a cool sense of confidence, he wouldn't let his father see his ever increasing fear, though his heart was beating and searing his insides with fire.
"Its 10' O, clock father, but I can explain"
"Oh, I'm going to love hearing this, get down here boy!"
Draco walked down the stairs with his usual grace, though he knew that any moment now he would start to shake.
He stood in front of his father.
"I met Snape on the way back from knockturn alley; we were talking of how I felt about becoming a death eater"
He couldn't tell his father he was in the hogshead with fire whisky, his father wouldn't believe he hadn't drunk any and he wouldn't be very happy that two death eater sons were getting drunk; he wouldn't get Crabbe and Golye in trouble as well.
Lucius's eyes seemed to shine, but then it passed.
"You met Snape did you?"
"Yes father" He knew it, Lucius hadn't bought it.
"And how do you feel about becoming a deatheater Draco?"
Draco knew his father knew his doubts about becoming a deatheater; he was going to make Draco squirm before he punished him.
"I am proud father; I can not wait to be given the honour" Draco lied easily; he had done so so many times.
"Liar" Lucius spoke in almost a whisper.
Draco's façade faltered. "I'm sorry father?" He had heard perfectly well what he said.
"How dare you lie to me! Severus Snape is at Hogwarts! You idiot! You disobey me and you can't even think of a passable excuse?"
Draco gulped, how could he be so stupid?
A fist answered that. It hit him right in middle of his eyes; he staggered but regained his posture quickly.
"I'm so sorry father!" The pain began. If only people knew what Lucuis did to him, maybe they wouldn't be so quick to judge.
Luicus had so much control over him; he felt like a puppet on a string, he could make him dance by a single punch.
"Sorry? Are you, sorry? Really? You have to learn discipline Draco; you have to learn your place! And if in doing so I need to remind you in a more forceful way then so be it!"
Draco knew his place; he didn't need a fist to know that, he just didn't know completely what his place meant.
His father's face was now showing a determination that only showed when he was "disciplining" Draco.
Draco involuntarily shrunk back. He got a swift slap across the face and another hit.
Luicus now had a grip on his shoulders and had slammed him against the wall.
The portraits of his father's family looked on in anticipation, the portraits of his mothers family turned away, trying to bloke out the scene.
Draco didn't shout, or plead or cry, he may be in pain, but he wasn't weak. He could take it. The pain almost didn't hurt, he felt it, but he was so used to it that it seemed almost normality.
Like a muggle doctor, he could see the blood and organs when he operated, but he didn't shrink back or find it disgusting, he was so used to seeing it, it didn't affect him.
Like Draco, he felt the pain, but he was so used to it, it didn't affect him.
He father gave him a final slap and a warning.
"Now get up stairs, I don't want to see you for the rest of the day, you sicken me!"
Draco didn't need telling twice. He hurried up the steps, flew down the corridor and flung him self in his room, hastily locking the doors.
He lay on his bed, a dull throbbing from his face kept him from falling asleep, which was all he wanted to do right now.
Would his father ever care about him? Say that he's proud, say that he loves-
Draco laughed harshly, love is something his father didn't understand, and never would.
Luicus hadn't loved Narcissa when he married her and he hadn't loved Draco when he was born.
Draco doubted whether he had even loved his own parents, though Draco didn't blame him, Abraxas and Cecilia Malfoy weren't exactly loving parents, they weren't violent like Lucius, but they weren't loving.
They were both dead now and Draco didn't care the slightest, they were bad parents and they were even worse grandparents, Draco doubted whether they even knew his name, they always just called him "boy".
Draco rolled on to his side and eventually dropped of to a restless sleep.
Images of Lucius turning into a muggle doctor and cutting in to him swimming through his troubled mind.