Disclaimer: I don't own the French language, Stargate Atlantis or any of the characters associated with it.
A/N: Can you guess who the characters are?
He loves her. It's so blatantly obvious I wonder how I ever could have missed it. All the signs were there: the way his eyes would come to rest on her so often during briefings, the little smiles when he thought no one was watching. One day when I passed him in the hall he was whistling. Whistling! Yet for some reason, I didn't see it. Perhaps a part of me was disillusioned enough to believe I was the one he had fallen for. Even after she started exhibiting the same signs and the gazing became two-sided I still didn't see it. I think by that time I was in denial. The little touches, the constant flirting; I was subconsciously ignoring it all. When it finally hit me, it felt like a blow to the stomach; or more accurately, like a knife through my heart. Now every time I see them together I can feel the echo of that first, sharp pain.
I knew it was a bad idea for me to fall in love with him from the beginning, but I couldn't help it. He is the most selfless, courageous, honest man I've ever met. He is my hero, my truest friend, my confidante; and all it takes is one of his rare slow smiles or for him to look at me with those beautiful brown eyes, and my brain takes a backseat to my heart.
I know he loves me in his own way, but I'm no longer naïve enough to believe I'm the one who puts the bounce in his step, the twinkle in his eye. I wouldn't have a chance against someone like her. She's far more beautiful than me, smart, capable, and a better leader than I could ever hope to be.
Though they might not realize it, the two of them are so alike. They compliment each other in a way he and I never could. We're too different; and the road we would travel down as a couple would be bumpy and filled with potholes. We'd probably end up tearing each other apart in the long run. My brain acknowledges this, as well as all the other obstacles in the way of there ever being an "us;" but like I said, my head is often overthrown by my heart, and love scorns logic.
So I go through each day pretending to be happy and acting like I'm more or less indifferent to their growing relationship, even though it feels as if I'm slowly dying inside. The only time I drop the façade is when I'm alone; and every once in a while, when it's late at night or in the wee hours of the morning, I let the tears come. I love him more every day and dream of him during the night, but I'll never tell him because nothing good would come of it. He is incapable of giving me what I'm so desperately looking for. Why? Because he loves her.