Ride My Pepsi Waves Old Man
A/N- I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing so here's this absolute piece of shit. You're welcome for blessing you with this clusterfuck of words
"Bingo!" Wario's shout resonated throughout the retirement home, causing many to adjust their hearing aids in annoyance or shoot the fat old geezer an ugly glare.
"We're not even playing bingo you old fool." The Pepsi man said from across the table they were sitting at. They were in the middle of a game of strip poker when the senile Wario had suddenly shouted bingo. Wario looked at the Pepsi man then down at his half naked self.
"Well you're a tall drink of soda. I can see why I'm half naked!" Wario exclaimed, eying the Pepsi man up and down openly. The Pepsi man struggled to hide his blush. He and Wario had been flirting for almost a year after they met during a group session in the retirement home. Unfortunately, Wario was senile and had some serious issues, so he forgot a lot and shouted random shit to the heavens occasionally. But Pepsi man took what he could get, he was kind of desperate. Pepsi man got up from his chair, took hold of his cane, and hobbled over to Wario. He took one of Wario's many chins in his gnarled hand and gazed deep into his eyes.
"Would you like to taste this soda?" Pepsi man questioned trying to give a sexy look but failing because he was over 70 years old.
"Hell yeah I want to gulp you down!" Wario said as he took Pepsi man's hand in his and hobbled over to the room's supply closet.
As soon as the door closed, Pepsi man lifted the many rolls of Wario's gut to unbutton his grandpa jeans and get to what he most desired. Wario used to wear overalls, but he had gained so much weight he couldn't fit into them any more. Pepsi man peeled the jeans off of Wario and stared hungrily at his exposed lower half as he undressed himself. As soon as all of his clothes were off, Pepsi man lept onto Wario and began kissing him. Wario was not into all that lovey dovey bullshit though, and pushed Pepsi man off of himself.
"Learn to have sex like a man." Wario grunted out, and proceeded to teach Pepsi man just how to do that.