His missions are assigned through the post. Each time, a blank letter arrives within a blank envelope. He mutters the spell, tapping the parchment with his wand and reading the mark quickly, commiting the name to memory, then watching as the paper is engulfed in flames.
Usually, he manages to do this all with a straight face. He's been in the business long enough. But this time is different.
He grabs his cloak off the back of his chair, whisking it over his shoulders. Regulus gives the ashen remains of the notice a final look, then leaves the room. He lets the door slam behind him.
Regulus Disapparates back to his flat, collapsing on the sofa. The name of his new mark is running through his mind endlessly. He hates how familiar it is. "I should've fucking seen it coming. Damn Barty," he murmurs to himself, head in his hands. Not a moment later, the man in question waltzes into the room, bringing a glass of wine for each of them.
"You're home," Barty says, rather unnecessarily.
"Clearly." Regulus knows he needs to control his temper. The last thing he needs is for Barty to get suspicious. He doesn't even know about Regulus's job. And at a time like this, the less he knows, the better. "Thank you," Reg adds, taking the wine glass in hand. He downs it in one go, and Barty looks on, concerned.
"Why so sad?"
Regulus shakes his head. "Nothing. Work's just been a nightmare lately. It's nice to be home." He leans over, kissing Barty softly, tenderly. He wonders how many kisses they have left.
"Shall I distract you?" Barty's voice is alluring and he's already halfway to their bedroom.
Regulus follows him as if he's bound to Barty by a string. "Please."
It's quite a while before Barty falls asleep, but even then, Regulus remains awake. He's lost in his thoughts, not noticing the passing of time until the sun lights their window again.
He spends the night thinking: if he can manage to spare Barty; if not, what he'll do. This job used to be doable, back when his marks were faceless names and of no connection to himself. He wasn't sure he'd be able to do this. He knew he had no choice.
X
By the next time he makes it in to work, he's decided. He just knows that he's got to be careful. "Malfoy, I need a word." His boss turns in Regulus's direction, giving him a curt nod before walking back to his office without a word. He leaves the door open. It's now or never. Regulus sighs, and follows him in.
"Well?"
"It's this new case. I was thinking, and I feel like there's a better way to get what we need out of this."
"I'm listening." Lucius's voice is a dull drawl. Regulus is sure that he's only half-listening to what he's saying, but he's made it this far. He might as well finish what he's started.
Funny, how that's become his mantra.
"Do-" Regulus pauses, doubting whether he wants to risk even asking. "Don't you think it'd be easier to just go for Crouch himself? He's the one causing all the trouble - get rid of him, we get rid of the trouble. Taking out his kid's just gonna add fuel to his fire."
Lucius considers his proposal, and for a moment, Regulus has hope. "Crouch has too much political power. Directing our attack at him would cause an uproar. Just do your job, Black."
"I-"
"You heard me, didn't you?" Regulus gives a nod, sobered. "You can go now."
He does, cursing himself for trying. He should've known it wouldn't work. He isn't sure where to go from here. All he knows is that his life depended on whether or not he can kill Barty.
The thought sickens him.
He wonders when he got so weak.
X
He comes home late that night, breath still strong with the whiskey from the local pub. The lights are all off at his flat; Barty must be in bed.
He wants to wake him, to tell him everything. He wants to pack their bags and get them as far from this damned island as he can.
But even this tired, even this drunk, he knows that it won't do any good.
He has no choice in the matter anymore, no autonomy over his own life. He just has to accept that. He's already made all his decisions.
The only one he doesn't regret is being with Barty. Not really, at least. Because he regrets loving him sometimes. Times like when he sees Barty's name written on that parchment. Times like when he knows that he has to kill Barty or they'll both be tortured.
But everything Barty's done for him - he can't ignore that. He can't let that be overshadowed by his own fuckups.
So Regulus kicks off his shoes and falls into bed beside Barty, wrapping an arm around him. He never wants to let go. And he kisses the back of Barty's neck, then a few inches up, a few more, the lobe of his ear, all the way up it, over to his lips. He doesn't stop because he doesn't know how long they have left together. He doesn't know how many more times he can do this, with zero inhibitions and zero regret.
He wants to spend the rest of his life with Barty, he realizes. And the truth hits him, that it's very likely he will.
Regulus feels like he's been punched in the gut, and he wants to vomit. But Barty's right in front of him, and he loves Barty. So he doesn't.
Barty doesn't wake, but fuck, Reg wants him to. He doesn't want to spend this moment without him.
Regulus falls asleep, and when he wakes, the taste of stale alcohol is ripe on his tongue. Barty's naked across the room, picking out a set of robes for the day. Regulus doesn't want to let him cover himself up, but he can't bring himself to move. The lights are too bright and his thoughts are too damn loud.
The last thing he wants to do is kill Barty, because he knows it will kill him.
X
Lying is a game he's good at. He always has been. It was a means of survival in a home like his, and it's the only way he's made it this far in the job he has now. The only downside is that everyone else he works with is just as good as he is, and they're trained to catch liars like themselves.
"I need to step down."
"You also know full well that I don't have the authority to make this decision. Even if I did, I wouldn't allow it. You're one of the best we've got, Black. This isn't a job you can just leave."
"I was nearly caught last time. I'm not doing this for myself. I can't put the operation in jeopardy like this. It's safer for all of us if I take a backseat." He's making this up as he goes now, and he feels the sweat beading on his forehead. He hopes Malfoy doesn't notice.
Lucius raps his fingers on the desk before him. "You're better than this." He's hesitant, considering his own skin. "As I said, it's not me you need to speak with."
"Fine." He'd been hoping it wouldn't have to come to this. "Where is she?"
X
"Cousin, how lovely to see you," Bellatrix drawls, curling her wand into her hair as she gazes at him. Regulus remembers her as a small child. How things have changed. "It's been far too long."
"Bella." He takes a seat, avoiding eye contact.
"Lucius tells me you want out, is that true? You know the commitment you made when you joined, Reg. You've chosen your side. You know the price of leaving."
She's toying with him, trying to make him back down. He knows this tactic far too well, he's prepared for it. "Of course I do," he purrs, matching her tone, flitting his eyes over to hers for a brief moment. He wants to gauge her expression. "Surely you know I wouldn't want to leave the organization as a whole. Simply this… ah, taskforce. I'm sure I could better serve the mission from a different position, you see."
She leans back in her chair, tapping her wand rhythmically against the desktop. "I do. And I've decided to humor your request. Finish your current assignment, then I will let you take a more passive role." Bellatrix watches him closely, but he doesn't respond as she expects. This doesn't save Barty. Regulus quickly masks his emotions, grateful at least for the future respite. He's not sure how much more of this he can take.
He thanks her, leaves the room. Regulus doesn't know how to face Barty now that he's exhausted all of his options. He supposes that fleeing the country is still an option, but there's nowhere they could hide where they wouldn't be found.
When he Disapparates away, he's not sure whether he's heading for the bar or his flat. He can't even tell which is the more sensible option at this point.
X
Regulus can't remember the last time he's had a good night's sleep. The dark circles under his eyes are as black as his surname and it seems like every conversation he has becomes an accusation. Barty's about had it with him, and he's surely not the only one.
"Are you going in to the office today?" he asks, his voice steady and calm. It's forced, but he's made an effort.
"Why do you care?"
Barty sighs, sinking into the couch beside Regulus, wrapping an arm around him. "I was going to make breakfast. If you'd rather I leave you alone, I will."
"Don't." His voice is no more than a whisper, but it holds Barty there. "Don't spend a minute apart from me, Barty. I mean it."
Regulus is tense, his lack of sleep apparent in his every action. Barty looks on, concerned and confused. He's been asleep every night that Reg hasn't. He's so sleep-deprived now, he's practically drunk. It takes everything within him not to tell Barty everything.
Well, maybe it wouldn't hurt.
"I don't have the heart for murder, Barty. Don't make me do it."
If Barty was confused before, that's nothing to how he is after that. "What're you on about, murder?"
"Can't tell you," he murmurs.
"Why not?"
"Just can't." He knows he sounds petulant. He's like a child. But he can't help it, he's hopeless and reckless and tired.
"Reg, I love you, I really do, but I also really want to punch you in the face right about now." Barty's laughing, but Regulus's face falls. "I'm sorry. You know you can tell me, whatever it is. It can be our secret."
"I want to tell you. I might. But I shouldn't, really. It would make everything harder." He looks off out the window. It's all dark, aside from the distant streetlight, its bulb flickering every minute or so. "I don't know why I ever believed in anything. It's so much easier not to. Like you. You don't believe in anything."
"I believe in you."
"You shouldn't."
"I do. I'll do anything for you, Reg, you've got to know that." Regulus looks up into Barty's eyes as he says this. He loses himself in their blue-green, and he lets himself break. Before he knows it, tears are rolling down his cheeks. Regulus can't remember the last time he cried, especially not like this. His whole body is wrought with silent sobs, and there's nothing Barty can do but hold him tight. "Tell me," he murmurs, kissing Regulus's wet cheek. "Tell me what it is and I'll do it for you. Whatever it is."
Reg hiccups. "You promise?" He knows any response Barty gives to this will bear no weight, but it makes him feel better, if only a little bit.
Barty leans in for a kiss. He tries making it short, simple, but Regulus holds on. He doesn't want to waste this moment. It needs to last. "Promise." Barty's words are confident, trusting. Regulus doesn't have the heart to tell him how misguided his faith is.
"I have to kill you." His voice cracks, and the words barely make it past his lips. The look on Barty's face is inscrutable. Another tear falls onto Regulus's chest. He's not sure whose it is.
"Then kill me."
The word is faint. Regulus himself isn't even sure he's said it. "Barty." There's no mistaking the pleading in his tone. "I love you, you know that?" He swallows, his throat dry and searing. His chest feels tight.
"I need you to promise me you'll be alright, that you'll be safe."
"Promise." He can't bring himself to do it like this. "Obliviate." Barty's eyes go wide and blank for a moment. The look he gives Regulus was one of such innocence, such oblivion that it breaks everything within him to mutter the next two words. He wraps Barty into a hug, tight enough to break his ribs. He needs to feel this.
"Avada Kedavra."
A/N: Written for - Hunger Games Comp: Training Round; Writing Club - Character Appreciation - 26. (trait) self-sacrificing; Disney Challenge - 4. Write about someone being forced to do something they don't want to do; Shannon's Showcase - 26. (title) Smoke and Mirrors; Book Club - Pine Sap: (trait) insomniac, (word) hesitant, (dialogue) "I don't have the heart for murder."; Showtime - 7. (action) crying; Amber's Attic - Slash 2. RegulusBartyJr; Count your Buttons - O1. Gun, D5. "Why so sad?"; Ami's Audio Admirations - 9. Write about someone who lies about what their job is.; Sophie's Shelf - Vault 11. (word) sacrifice; Angel's Arcade - Roxas: (emotion) confused, (plot point) choosing a side, (AU) assassin; Lo's Lowdown - Q5. "You don't believe in anything." / "I believe in you." - Bonus
Bex's Biscuit Barrel - Brandy Snaps: 1. (word) accusation, 4. (dialogue) "I love you, I really do, but I also really want to punch you in the face.", 6. (hp) Avada Kedavra; Funfair - Northern - Ghost Train 18. (genre) Angst; Southern - Hedge Maze (character) Regulus Black; Eastern - Ferris Wheel 2. (word) Nightmare; Seasonal - Days of the Year - July 17: Write about your favorite Slytherin character; Color Prompts - Blue-green; Fire Element - (word) Dry; Shay's Musical Challenge - 7. Write about someone risking their own neck for love.; Gryffindor Themed Prompts - (trait) reckless; Hamilton Mania - Act II 5. (character) Barty Crouch Jr., Optional 37. (object) Cloak; Insane House Challenge - 14. (character) Regulus Black; 365 Prompts Challenge - 17. Assassin!AU; July Fanfic Writing Month: wc 2212