Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat, the Cat of the Railway Train
There's a whisper down the line at eleven thirty-nine
When the Night Mail's ready to depart
Saying, "Skimble, where is Skimble?
Has he gone to hunt the thimble?
We must find him or the train can't start"
I was fast asleep on my nice little bed…but I didn't know it. In my mind, I was hunting a nice, juicy, mouse. I was leaning in to deliver the killing bite…but then…"Skimbleshanks, WAKE UP!!!!!!!" I was shaken awake by Rum Tum Tugger's frantic call (or was it Bombaluirna's mewing?)
All the guards and all the porters
And the station master's daughters
Would be searching high and low
Saying "Skimble where is Skimble for unless he's very nimble
Then the night mail just can't go."
"You've nearly missed it again!" he informed me. "Well, gotta run!" I shouted back over my shoulder, since I had already sprinted off. I headed for the tracks without much thought; I knew the way blind. I could see the gleaming train ahead…
At eleven forty-two with the signal overdue
And the passengers all frantic to a man
That's when I would appear and I'd saunter to the rear
I'd been busy in the luggage van!
The conductor blew his whistle, and I went into the rear car. I was really hoping to finish that dream…
Then he gave one flash of his glass-green eyes
and the signal went "All Clear!"
They'd be off at last to the northern part of the Northern Hemisphere!
The train gave its familiar lurch, and we were off. I found my usual corner, curled up, and was soon engulfed in dreams. Now, where was that mouse? I finally found it, however its head now strangely resembled Rum Tum Tugger's.
Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat
The Cat of the Railway Train
You might say that by and large it was me who was in charge
Of the Sleeping Car Express
From the driver and the guards to the bagmen playing cards
I would supervise them all more or less I awoke about half an hour later, having finally caught the Rum Tum mouse.
Down the corridor he paces and examines all the faces
Of the travellers in the first and the third
He established control by a regular patrol
And he'd know at once if anything occurred
As I made my rounds, I checked all the faces. Most were frequent riders, although some were new…time to work my charm and get some dinner!! l
He would watch you without winking and he saw what you were thinking
And it's certain that he didn't approve
Of hilarity and riot so that folk were very quiet
When Skimble was about and on the move
A couple of the newbies flinched as I jumped up on their laps, but got used to it soon. I worked my Charm like I had so many times before. Purr; purr…
You could play no pranks with Skimbleshanks!
He's a cat that couldn't be ignored
So nothing went wrong on the Northern Mail
When Skimbleshanks was aboard
one man was obviously hiding something, I could sense it. It wasn't just the extra chicken in his overcoat, either, but some of that would have been nice.
It was very pleasant when they'd found their little den
With their name written up on the door
And the berth was very neat with a newly folded sheet
And not a speck of dust upon the floor
I had followed this particular man to his bunk, and settled down. He got into his PJs, got into bed, and tried in vain to move me off his sheets.
There was every sort of light
You could make it dark or bright
And a button you could turn to make a breeze
And a funny little basin you're supposed to wash your face in
And a crank to shut the window should you sneeze
It was a nice room, but of course, I had been in better. I had also been in worse…I still shudder to remember that room…no mice at all! The Nerve!
Then the guard looked in politely and would ask you very brightly,
"Do you like your morning tea weak or strong?"
But I was just behind him and was ready to remind him
For Skimble won't let anything go wrong
I pretty much was in charge on this train. After delivering tea to the passengers, the guard gave me a nice little dish of cream, which I lapped up happily. I had always been quite fond of it…
When they crept into their cozy berth and pulled up the counterpane
They all could reflect that it was very nice
To know that they wouldn't be bothered by mice
They can leave all that to the Railway Cat
The Cat of the Railway Train
As a nice after cream snack, I would catch all the mice in the room. I never went hungry, though; there were always more soon. I never fully understood how humans could attract so many mice!
Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat
The Cat of the Railway Train
In the watches of the night I was always fresh and bright
Every now and then I'd have a cup of tea
With perhaps a drop of scotch while I was keeping on the watch
Only stopping here and there to catch a flea
ahh…tea. A very soothing drink. That scotch was pretty potent, however; kept me awake for AGES!!!
They were fast asleep at Crewe and so they never knew
That I was walking up and down the station
They were sleeping all the while I was busy at Carlisle
Where I met the station master with elation
When we arrived, all was dark. I had been living off mice, so I decided to go for a well-deserved hunt. Some vole sounded good. And surly I wouldn't be missed, they were all asleep. I was, however, a VERY important cat…
They might see me at Dumfries if I summoned the police
If there was anything they ought to know about
When they got to Gallowgate there they did not have to wait
For Skimbleshanks would help them to get out!
And he gives a wave of his long brown tail
Which says "I'll see you again!
You'll meet without fail on the Midnight Mail
The Cat of the Railway Train!"
As the passengers got out the next morning, I got fed as always. Scraps of chicken, pork, and every other meat were thrown to me as I purred contently. When they were all gone, the new ones loaded, I set off again to repeat the process.