Author's note: I must start by saying the obligatory disclaimers; I do not own Hellsing in any way, shape, or form. I am writing this for entertainment and nonprofit purposes. I do own myself, since the non-Hellsing character in this story is, in fact, me, and this whole story is based on a messed up dream that I had. Since I am in the story, I will say right now that I did not idealize my looks, personality, or intelligence in any way. There will be no "Mary Sues" in this story. I am also including other people I know. So if you don't like this kind of story, remember, it was a dream, people; don't read it. I will state that I accept constructive criticism, which is greatly appreciated.
Additional Note: The song lyrics listed in this belong to Evanescence. This is not a song fic. I was, in fact, singing this to myself when I fell asleep the night I dreamed this.
Switcheroo
Prologue: Me and How I Came to be Here
I was nodding off at the computer... again. I really need to stop staying up until 3 AM. Listening to the Beastie Boys "Sabotage" on a shuffled loop was beginning to give me a headache.
"Of course, that could be the sleep deprivation too," I mumbled to myself. "I really should go to bed..."
I heard every little sound as though it were being filtered through a speaker; everything was too loud. I wonder why everything sounds so noisy tonight. It must be the sleep deprivation and insomnia kicking in. Great... Now I'm being repetitive even in my own thoughts.
Upon making that statement, my father decided to get up from bed and start thumping down the stairs.
"Why are you still up?" he asked moodily.
Yeah. We won't even address why you're up.
"You should go to bed at a more regular time like everyone else," Dad continued. "If you don't get enough sleep, you'll never get anywhere. All you need to worry about is going to college and getting a degree. You need to quit all this other crap." He was giving me The Look.
I rolled my eyes to myself. The same speech over and over again. Why couldn't he say something different for once?
Like he's one to talk. He got a GED, not a diploma. And all because of some stupid high school teacher. Its like he took her failing him as an excuse to quit school. And he says I shouldn't have a job while in school. Of course, he was the one who worked for the Red Cross while he went through college.
But I just nodded and said, "Yeah, I was going to bed anyway." God. Why does he DO this? He knows that I don't have school tomorrow.
"Not going to sleep at a reasonable hour is probably the reason you're sick all the time," Dad said.
Yeah. Everyone goes to bed at 10 PM. Sure. How about I lay in bed for hours on end doing nothing while I'm at it.
Sighing, I picked up my always-present Discman, CDs, as well as the rough draft of the story I was writing, and climbed the stairs to the top floor.
Turning left and quickly stepping over the large white rainbow-spotted elephant toy-chest blocking my bedroom door I set my stuff down near my desk.
The toy-chest looked like something that someone on acid would hallucinate. Glancing at my elephant and wondering for the umpteenth time why I had put the thing there so I could conveniently trip over it always yielded the same answer: so the dog couldn't come in and either try to get in bed with me and pull the sheets off the bed, or accidentally go to the bathroom on the rug at five in the morning.
I went about my business of getting my books together for school on Tuesday, even though it was Sunday (Or Monday morning, depending on how you looked at it.) and I didn't have to go to school. Since I am an astounding procrastinator, I needed to get this out of the way.
I really should get off my ass and do something with myself. I can't just sit around and play games, draw, or listening to music. And not sleeping regular hours doesn't help me either.
After listening to a compilation of both of Rob Zombie's albums, I decided that I was actually tired enough to sleep. I took off my ring. Putting my glasses carefully into their case, and set my alarm so I could promptly wake up at eleven in the morning to turn off the alarm and go back to sleep.
When it became immediately apparent that I would not be able to get to sleep, I began to stare at the poster-laden walls, which I had changed from a variety of different pictures to anime; my favorite ones being my two Tenchi Muyo! wall scrolls and my Hellsing wall scroll.
My eyes, having adjusted, looked at the Hellsing scroll, I just let my mind wander.
I thought of many things, like, Maybe I should actually write down all the key points I want to go over during the next session of my Vampire game, or Why can't my parents set aside some money to get the house fixed so I can paint my walls sky blue with fluffy clouds? I started singing to myself, first one song, then another and so on until I got to "Bring Me To Life."
"Wake me up inside/
"Wake me up inside/
"Call my name and save me from the dark.//
"Bid my blood to run/
"Before I come undone/
"Save me from the nothing I've become.//
"Bring me to life/
"Bring me to life.//
"Frozen inside without your touch,/
"Without your love,/
"Darling, only you..../"
As I was humming the next verse, oblivion asserted itself and claimed my consciousness. My last thought before I succumbed completely was, This would so work as an AMV for Hellsing...