Summary: Hidan thinks about his long-time partner on a sleepless night. Sequel to Hardly Eternity. Yaoi, KakuHida.

A/N: This is a companion piece to Hardly Eternity, and probably will make more sense if you read that first. The prompt from Derperuss was to write a KakuHida fic without violence and I realized the only way I can do that if I picture them being together for a while.

OOO

Forever

OOO

Kakuzu is sleeping, curled up on his side. He doesn't look peaceful - there's a furrow between his brows, making me expect his eyes to snap open in any minute and berate me for something he deems my fault. I can't resist reaching out and trying to smooth that frown, although I know I'm risking exactly that reaction with it.

His skin is cool under my fingers, as it always is, ever since he returned from death - as he claims. I've never touched him before, in our Akatsuki days, so I don't know if it used to be different or not. He doesn't wake even when I caress his forehead and temple. In a minute or two his expression becomes more relaxed, making him look like almost any normal person deep in his dreams. I grin and wedge closer to him. I know the old bastard feels the bite of cold more than I do and he'll be grateful for my closeness.

It looks like sleep is avoiding me tonight- in no time I'm propped up on my elbow again, watching my long-time partner. One good thing about renting shitty rooms like this (next to saving money, which I don't care about, but is the meaning of life to old man), is that they don't bother with curtains. The moonlight shining through the dirty windows is enough for me to see Kakuzu well. It should be boring, looking at him, doing nothing, especially after all these years, but I find it still entertains me. It's so rare that I'm up and can stare at him all that I want without him being aware of it.

I know his face so well - the tone of his skin, the arch of his browns, the strong cut of his jaw, the deep, ugly scars marking his cheeks and the stitches that hold them closed. He's not handsome, or Jashin forbid pretty, but I still love looking at him. If I drag the covers down, the view gets even better, with his wide shoulders, his hard muscles that make him look human despite the stitches. He's not really that - there're the masks sewn onto the skin of his back, all those seams he can open up, the threads underneath. He told me he could come back from death because of these attributes. I could never grasp the notion that he was really dead, but I know there's no point in arguing him on this.

I have half the mind to wake him to see his eyes as well - the only physical change after he came back for me. In my mind that's what divides the two Kakuzu - the one who had red and green eyes, I was partners with in the Akatsuki. We fought constantly, and though there was some growing bond between us, we predominantly didn't agree on anything that mattered. This Kakuzu, with his green irises encircled in black is the one who came back for me when I already gave up all hope, dug me out from my grave and patched me up. He's a bad-tempered, old miser, but I know he cares for me. He'd say he changed nothing at all if I asked him - that his eye colour is different because of the technique that brought him back to life. He'd be affronted to know I think him of as a different person.

But honestly - that old Kakuzu wouldn't have bothered to find me when he was all but dying, body literally falling apart at the seams, his sole heart weak and untrustworthy. He wouldn't have cared what happened to me. I long ago made my theory that this new Kakuzu was sent by Jashin-sama, to help me, to stay by my side. I'm smart enough to never mention this to him, but I know that's the truth. Why else would I be with him still?

I think of waking him again - as I'm not sleeping anyway, we could spend the night doing something more fun. Snuggling so close, that immediately starts to seem like a good idea. Amazing how I'm still not bored with him after being together practically forever, but he can still arouse me with simply being here for me.

That's it maybe - that he's always here for me. Nobody cared enough in my life ever before to remain. Hell, I never cared about anyone either to tolerate them for more than a night. And if sex wasn't satisfactory enough, I usually sacrificed them to my god.

Funny, that I never really considered presenting Kakuzu to Jashin-sama. I know it would be fitting - I'm sure he would make a pleasing sacrifice but... that would mean living without him in this world, forever, alone. I can't even bear thinking about it.

I sigh, angry at myself for my suddenly maudlin thoughts. I hate when this mood takes over me - the feeling of emptiness, loneliness, pain - it was all I used to feel, buried underground, torn into pieces, thinking that I'll never see the light again, that I'll never be whole again. But then, Kakuzu came back for me. Even if my mind sometimes still wanders back to that most terrible period in my life, all I need to do is to reach out and feel he's now here, next to me.

"You came back," I whisper out loud. He doesn't even stir - he heard this so many times, mocked me about keeping saying it almost as much, that it's not enough to rouse him.

Well, as far as I'm concerned, this is the most vital point in our lives together, so I'll keep saying it, even if it makes him irritated. He likes to be angry with me I guess. I don't mind. I know I mean a lot for him no matter how he grumbles.

That he can sleep with me staring into his face is proof enough of that. He's so careful otherwise, looking out for danger always. He knows I'm no threat for him. That he is safe, when I'm here.

For a couple of minutes I keep myself entertained by the idea that I'm the one who's dominant and protective in this relationship. The stronger one. And sometimes I am - rarely though. I don't mind - most of the time we're equal. I can be satisfied with that.

I wonder at the term - relationship. I never had a long-time lover before. Certainly never even thought that one of my affairs would last more than fifteen fucking years. The joke in it is that I won't mind another fifteen, thirteen years with him. No, that's not the truth exactly - I don't want to leave him, ever. So I guess we're stuck for an eternity, immortals as we both are. I don't think he plans to get rid of me... not that he could. I wouldn't let him.

It's hard to say what he means to me. Kakuzu would say something pragmatic if I asked. Like that we're together as that's mutually beneficial to both of us. That it's business, where the profit of us being partners are greater than the inconveniences it costs.

I smirk as I picture him telling me this. He'd have the usual frown between his brows, arms folded in front of his chest, projecting I'm cold and collected, untouched by such trivial things as emotions. He can maintain that pose even when I blow him. I wonder if he knows that I find it sexy. Probably he does.

Still, I'm sure he cares for me, deep in his blackened soul. He, after all, came back for me. As much as he complains, he never showed real signs of getting tired of me. Now and then he even buys me things, proving that he's even willing to spend his precious money on me. He's certainly not a romantic, but all those little signs, those small, everyday things show that I'm important. That he loves me.

I sigh, deeply satisfied with my deduction. I don't think anyone loved me before, and I have never loved anyone but Jashin-sama in my life. But now - now I love him as well.

We'd never say it of course, it's an unspoken taboo to talk about our feelings. Just imagining Kakuzu, acting all manly, down-to-earth and cynical, suddenly changing tone and blurting out I love you makes me snicker. I probably wouldn't be able to stop laughing if he would really say it. I don't think he'd take kindly if I told him, either. He hates when I show weakness almost as much as showing it himself.

Lucky, that I don't need any reassurance. I'm pretty sure about it without us ever saying it. I've never been so sure about anything else ever, really.

I lean even closer to Kakuzu, determined to wake him and celebrate my silent and forever-to-remain-a-secret discovery someway pleasant. Before I can decide on the means - should I be nice and kiss him, should I be wicked and bite him, or should I be wanton and start to suck him off - his breathing changes, signalling that he's no longer asleep.

It's a sign barely recognisable, and no one other than me, who knows him so well, would catch it. The sneaky bastard doesn't react otherwise, letting me watch him from so close that our noses almost touch and waits for me to make the next move.

I don't do anything until he starts to lose patience - which he doesn't have much - and his brows knit together in annoyance. Then I close the almost non-existent space between us, and lick the tip of his nose.

His eyes snap open at that and he glares at me. When he opens his mouth to tell me what an idiot I am, I quickly push my tongue in. I love when he's still sleepy, he's so much more pliant than usual. He tries to brush me off, but without any real force, so I know he doesn't mean it. I push him on his back and climb on top, pressing our bodies together. It's a bit irritating, but he's wearing loose trousers - after over one and a half decades I'd expect him to sleep naked, but he's a man of his habits.

He grumbles something rude when my elbow accidentally hits him on the neck, but then his arms rise and he's pulling me close. It's such a pleasant feeling that for a few minutes I just lay there, with my head on his chest, my legs on both side of his hips, hands in his hair, before I realize he's just trying to lull me and go back to sleep. I bite down where his skin is the most tender, where neck meets shoulder, because I know he's sensitive there.

"It's the middle of the night, Hidan," he grunts.

"So what?" I raise my head to grin at him.

"We have to get up early tomorrow."

"You know that we actually don't have to get up early, don't you? It's just that you always do."

"I'm not changing my schedule because you can't rest at night like a normal person."

"Jashin forbid that you change your sleeping habits after a century," he scowls and I smirk. It's funny, how he's sensitive about his age, though he does his hardest to keep it in secret. I don't know who he thinks he can fool. "I heard that old people don't need much sleep Kakuzu, so..."

I try to slide down to wake him up in another sense as well, but he grabs my hair and keeps me in place with pressing my head against his chest. I puff up my cheeks and blow air on his skin, laughing at the indecent sounds it makes. He snorts - I know it means he's amused despite himself. Ignoring the quite painful grip on my hair I raise my head and grin at him. I love how I can read him - I wonder if anyone else ever could. I doubt.

"You're an idiot," he informs me, but he lets my head go and his palm slides down on my neck and back, creating a satisfactory shiver in its wake. I recognise it as my clue to get what I want.

No more objections come from him as I drag those needless pants down, nor when I take him into my mouth. He remains passive though, pretending that he's only letting me suck him off because I insisted. Haughty old bastard, he's lucky that I love him.

By the time he finishes in my mouth I'm actually getting sleepy. I yawn into his shoulder when he starts to stroke me off.

"Do you even want this?" he questions, amused. I nod, cuddling close, pressing my face into the crook of his neck. It doesn't take me nearly as long to reach my peak as it did for him. I think he's still wiping his palm clean on the sheets when I'm already asleep.

My head is still pillowed on his chest when I wake in the morning. I try to smudge the pool of wetness where I drooled on him discreetly, but he's already watching me with hooded eyes. For a moment he almost looks like he'll smile, but then he remembers himself and starts to berate me for sleeping in too late. I resist pointing out that he didn't wake me.

I make a point of dragging out my morning washing and dressing. He plays his role as well, tapping his foot with impatience, grumbling.

"Hurry up already," he snaps at last, when I'm in the bathroom, fixing my hair. There's a lock that never wants to lay flat with the others. "Honestly, I don't know why I put up with you!"

"Come on you bastard, admit that you love me," I call out without thinking. Silence follows. I stare into the cracked mirror above the sink, wanting to bash my head against the wall. As if I don't know that "We don't talk about our feelings" is the number one rule to follow with Kakuzu. Best if I crack a joke and pretend I never blurted this.

He's of course already fully dressed when I exit the bathroom, waiting for me with arms folded in front of his chest. He looks angry at first, but some emotion I can't really mask must be showing on my face as his expression softens somewhat. For the millionth time, I feel grateful that he's no longer wearing a mask and hood. Not only because he looks so much better like this, but it's a bit easier to know what's going on in his mind without him being so covered up.

"Ok, than admit that you don't hate me," I want it to sound teasing, light, but somehow my voice is quiet and unsure, not as I planned.

"You're really an idiot, aren't you?" he snorts at last, waiting long enough with his answer for my heart to start to feel heavy. "Why do you ask something you already know?"

I blink, confused at first by what he means, before I understand.

"Aww, Kakuzu," I grin, "you know that I..."

"Let's get going, Hidan," he interrupts. I pout, though only for the show, as I'm not surprised by his reaction. He reaches out and messes my carefully flattened hair then drags me out the door when I want to go back to the bathroom to rearrange it.

Though I have to walk around unsure how my hair looks whole day, I can't help but feel satisfied. He might be a closed up bastard, but he is my closed up bastard. As far as I'm concerned, life is perfect now and will be, forever.

FIN