"Clarke." Bellamy said, his voice straining from the knot that had begun to form in his chest.

"No." Clarke shook her head, willing away the tears that had begun to sting her eyes. "Don't do that. Just promise me, okay?"

She managed to finally meet his gaze again, which was a terrible mistake; Bellamy's steely gaze sent shutters throughout her body, she could feel the pain radiating off of him in waves that seemed to stuff out the oxygen all around her. It was only when he reached out his shaking hand to touch her cheek that she was able to gasp for air.

Bellamy seemed to be struggling for air himself as he sucked in a raspy breath.

"I'd do anything for you Clarke, you know that right?" He finally spoke up.

Clarke's body shuttered as Bellamy moved closer, his hand still planted gently on her cheek. His lips were just inches from hers now and she couldn't help but steal a glance at them.

"But you're asking me to prepare for a life without you in it, and that's just something I'll never be able to do," He admitted firmly as he moved his thumb to softly caress her lips.

"Not even for you."

"Bellamy." Clarke protested, but was interrupted by Bellamy's lips crashing into hers with such a fiery determination that Clarke was momentarily knocked off balance until Bellamy's free arm wrapped protectively around her back to balance her.
It took Clarke a moment to realize what was happening, long enough that Bellamy pulled slightly back in a momentary panic at her lack of reciprocation. Bellamy's dark eyes frantically searched hers.

Did he just make a huge mistake? He thought to himself. A million terrifying thoughts began to swarm in his head as the moment grew longer, but just as they appeared, they quickly dissipated as Clarke touched her soft lips gently to his once again.

There was copious amounts of mixed feelings that Clarke held for Bellamy. She knew she loved him; He had always been by her side through all of the tough decisions that had to be made. He made her stronger, and in turn she did the same for him.

Bellamy was the kind of guy who would do anything for those he cared about, he was fearless and ruthless when he had to be, but he had a wonderful heart, and as the days went on he proved to be one of the only people Clarke could count on, confide in, so she knew WHERE the love for him stemmed from, she just didn't know what KIND of love it was. She had thought she had loved Finn, but Finn had lied to her, betrayed her in a way, and as the hormones cleared and she could think for herself once again, it was evident to her that the feelings that she had felt for him were just that, feelings, lust if you will.

She knew she had loved Lexa. She knew it almost immediately, only because what she felt when she was with her, was so much more than she had ever felt with Finn, and when she lost her she felt her heart shatter into pieces.
Still, what she felt for Bellamy was different. Even though she knew Lexa loved her, she had to always be guarded with her, never fully trusting, because at the end of the day, Lexa would do anything for her people, she proved that time and again, Clarke, of course couldn't blame her. Yet, Clarke never had to be guarded with Bellamy, there was always honesty between them, sometimes too much. And Clarke never had to worry about Bellamy choosing his people over her, because Clarke was Bellamy's people, and he was hers.

Yet with all of the uncertainty hovering around her regarding her feelings for Bellamy, she kissed him back, not for him, but for her, because whether he couldn't think of a life without her in it, he would have to. The sinking feeling of her impending death haunted her every second of every day since her mother's dream. So even if she couldn't quite map out whether her feelings were just love, or LOVE, she needed every inch of warmth and security that Bellamy could provide, she needed his touch, his piercing gaze to envelope nothing but her in this moment, needed him to know how much he meant to her even if she couldn't quite spell it out yet, she just NEEDED him like she always had, just one last time.

Because even though she would never admit it, she was absolutely terrified to die, and right now, Bellamy was the only one who could take that away.