A/N: So. Heya guys. I'm been, y'know, gone for a loooong time...A couple weeks at least, maybe a month or two? Anyways, yeah. So this is my third attempt at a Maximum Ride story. I just haven't typed the other two up from my notebook yet... :D

So yeah! Hi guys! How ya doin'? I've been reading FF constantly, I just never had time to write it. Aw man, I missed you guys! :) But life's been busy with getting honor roll first quarter of school (OH YEAH! :D) and singing solos (EEPS! I'm doing a major one tomorrow at the Christmas pageant at my church!) and flirting with a guy-who-totally-likes-me-but-is-too-stupid-to-admit-it-while-I-am-totally-in-love-with-him (lol :D) and dealing with screaming best friends and birthdays and Thanksgiving and Christmas parties and cruel teachers and teachers who are nice-ish but still won't give me a break when I do something WRONG accidentally and give detention slips right and left like they're CANDY! Ugh! Yeah. So my life's been slightly (*coughEXAGGERATIONcough*) busy. :)

So here goes nothin'. My first PUBLISHED attempt at the wonderfulness that is Maximum Ride.

Disclaimer: No, that James guy owns all the characters. I dunno if I even know his last name...Patterson? Yeah. Patterson. Lol, I was thinking of Pattinson, then I cringed, cuz I hate Twilight and all the weird people on it, then I thought of Robsten (RobPatz and KStewart), and even though I HATE Robert, I don't mind Kristen, but they are SO CUTE together they make me all happy! I always read the covers of magazines at Target whenever I'm waiting in line..WELP I'm gonna stop rambling now please just read and CONSTRUCTIVELY criticize!

Love you darlings!

October 24, 2009; 12:02 AM: posted by "MAX (how does this thing work??)"

Hello.

I'm Max.

Maximum Ride, actually.

I'm a freak.

A mutant.

A hybrid.

A so-totally-not-normal-half-kid-half-bird-with-freaking-wings.

Yeah.

So hiya.

Anything new? No? Well then.

There's nothing really new with me.

This is a very productive conversation.

I'm just gonna stop now.

Okay, now for the long, boring explanations.

I'm a bird kid who lives with her awesome siblings Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel.

I'm fifteen. I'm a bird kid. You're heard of us. We've been in the spotlight for about a year now.

*awkward cough*

Yup.

And this is my blog.

-Max

I sighed and clicked out of the window.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO SAVE YOUR POST?

A small window had just popped up. I clicked 'YES' and forcefully pushed in the computer keyboard. My hand hovered next to the power button on the computer monitor, waiting for my post to upload so I could go to bed.

"57%, please wait..."

I rolled my eyes and stood up slowly, stretching my arms in a lazy motion. I tramped over to my door, swinging it open, and banged on the bathroom door.

"Nudge..." My tired voice wobbled slightly.

"What?!" came an impatient reply.

"Oh, sorry Ig." I turned around and walked back into my room. We, the Flock and I, were at my mom's house for a few weeks for a...vacation of sorts. Sort of. We were tired of fighting bad guys and having our pictures taken every few moments so we just left it all.

And you know how Fang has a blog? Well, you might not have known, but I was kind of jealous. So I made one too. I don't really know how to work it. I just filled in my name, reserved the domain on the Blogspot website, and, well, made it. I think. I'm not really techy. So I'm not sure if I just signed up for a weekly newsletter on the healthy effects of Botox or made a website.

It's .com. Well, it was. Then it said, "We're sorry, but that domain is already registered. Would you like to try again? Here are some suggestions: max339940282 .blogspot .com; max200239938 .blogspot .com; max299100038 .blogspot .com; max299999939993 .blogspot .com. Thank you for your patience!"

They seriously need that many numbers, cuz there are too many "max" domains? Wow.

I finally ended up calling it themaximumrideofyourlife. blogspot .com. Seriously. Maximumride. blogspot .com was taken. So was themaximumride. blogspot .com. Sheesh.

I'm tired. I flopped down on my bed, the soft, fleecy purple blanket invited me to curl up and asleep. It was midnight. I was tired. Iggy was in the bathroom, doing what was beyond me. How long does it take the kid to brush his teeth?

The girls were asleep, Gazzy, I'm sure, was up playing video games, and Fang was probably posting on his blog.

I dragged myself up again and flung myself into my swivel chair. I barely touched the mouse before my screensaver disappeared and "87%, please wait," appeared.

I shrugged at no one and open a new browser, wanting to see what Fang was up to. I typed in his address, waiting ever so patiently as Fang's blog loaded.

But then my heart started pounding. Something had happened today, something I was mortified about. You see, my mother enrolled us at school for the next month, just so we could have a sort-of education. Although last Monday was our first day, I still am the 'new' girl and therefore laughed at, at every opportunity. So today was a ball for some of the people.

The page finally loaded and I scrolled down.

My eyebrows rose in surprise as I read the newest post, posted only thirty seconds ago.

October 24, 2009; 12:08 AM: posted by "Fang"

Hey guys,

Some new news. Haha. "New" "news." Hah—umm, yeah.

Anyways, we're at Max's mom's house. Y'know, the delicious chocolate chip cookie house? Yeah.

Well, today was sort of eventful...very much so.

Would you like me to explain?

Okay, then. Please pray that, if by some chance Max reads this, she won't kill me. I'd settle for extreme mutilation, but death is something I'd rather not have at the moment, thanks.

So today at school, in PE, for some God-forsaken random reason, we have dance lessons instead of running the mile.

What the hell?

Yeah, I know!

Anyways, we paired up, and all the hot girls got all the hot (their word, not mine, God!) guys. There was the really nerdy kid Jermaine, who's a guy, and the really nerdy girl Alezibath, pronounced "Elizabeth." I mean, do those kids' parents wanttheir children to be beat up?! Anyways, the buck-teeth, thick-black-rimmed-glasses, pimple-y, permed-hair Alezibath walked up to Jermaine, all shy, and she asked him to be his partner. He readily agreed.

What is wrong with this world?

Anyways, all that were left were me and Max. I mean, we're like brother and sister, so we naturally just stood there next to each other and looked around for available partners, not even thinking of each other.

So the dance-PE-weirdo instructor came up to us, said in her nasally voice with some weird accent, "M'kay, lad, you are with the fair-faced miss, clear?"

Max and I glanced at each other quickly and both screamed "What?!" at the same time.

"No frickin' way are we dancing together! We're brother and sister!" Max's mouth hung open as I quickly defended us.

"I don't care, lad, just dance with the girl, m'kay?"

"Umm…no," Max agreed, giving the instructor a weird look.

"Not in four billion years will I dance with my sister," I confirmed once again, nodding my head for emphasis.

"Well lad, it's currently the year four billion and one, so yip yip, you two dance together."

And then he left us. And he left us there, standing like idiots as some guys snickered at us, calling us 'incest weirdos' and stuff like that. Dear God.

Moving on, Max and I stood there, our hands in our pockets, as the slow music started and the instructor showed us how to slow dance. Like a male human is born without the ability to hold a girl flat against him and shuffle his feet. Jeez.

But then Instructor Person came back over to us, and started frantically moving his arms. "Why not you two DANCE?! You two are supposed to dance! Dance!" Then he grabbed my arm, slapped it against Max's waist, took my other arm, slapped it a little lower, (Max jumped as my hand landed just barely above her butt) and then stood back and admired his work. "Good, good! Now Lassie here puts her arms…" then he grabbed Max's arms and flung them around my neck, then made her lace her fingers together. All the while, there were a few boys on the floor laughing, while everyone else just stood staring at us, disgusted.

Then he bounced back again, and his eyebrows narrowed. "No, no…this is better," he said, as he pushed us close together, so close I could feel Max against me, breathing rapidly.

He grinned toothily and made weird gestures with his hands. "Now you two dance! Lad leads, Lassie follows, you shuffle, sway, listen to the music! Oooh, I smell cinnamon. I be back." The man walked away, but not before he gave us a stern look and waited for us to started moving. I groaned as I moved my feet a little. Max giggled. I glanced down at her…and oh my God…was I lost in those eyes…

Then suddenly I had this weird urge, and then I leaned down and grabbed Max's face, planting my lips on hers. I was kissing my freakin' sister. In the middle of P.E. At school. Around a hundred other kids who thought we were siblings.

This is gonna be explained really easily, don't you agree?

So going back to making out with Max…

Well, that's pretty much all I remember. Making out with Max, screams, and thumps. I'm not sure what the thumps were though.

Okay. Later.

-Fang

My mouth hung open as I gulped in air. What the HELL?! We agreed to let it slide and not even tell Mom what happened at school. Now he's telling the whole frickin' WORLD?!

I slammed my computer shut and marched over to Fang's room. I banged on the door with my hand, but not satisfied with the sound, I started ramming the door with my foot. I could feel the door vibrate under my thumps, but I still wasn't happy. I was sooo freaking MAD! I started hitting the door with all my energy until it opened. But I continued hitting and slamming, upon a poor Fang who was standing there with a surprised face.

"What?" he growled, amid my frenzy of pounding.

"What! Is! Your! Effing! Problem!" with each word accentuated by a fist.

"WHAT?!" he said louder, pushing away my fists.

"YOUR! EFFING! POST!"

"Ooooh…" he stopped fighting me back, standing there like a lifeless body while I continued to hit him. His trademark smirk was still barely present, but only I could tell.

I screeched in frustration and marched into his room, flinging myself onto his black bed. The smell of Fang overwhelmed me and I suddenly became dizzy. This afternoon's events came rushing back into my head and my eyes felt very heavy. I sighed and closed them, letting what I had just read five minutes ago wash out of me. I calmed myself. Every part of my body felt very warm and heavy…ah, peace. I'd learned this from Mom.

But the weird thing is, my lips felt very, very warm and heavy. Something felt like it was applying pressure. Wow, I'm getting really good at this. Then I smelled cinnamon, and just barely tasted it. I wrinkled my nose and felt something barely whoosh past it. My eyes flashed open and I saw Fang's eyes…RIGHT THERE. LIKE RIGHT THERE. I screamed and jumped up.

"What were you doing?"

"Kissing you."

"Uh, let me just ask this, just to, y'know, clear things up…" I feigned patience as I tapped my chin. "Hmm...let's see…oh yeah! What the HELL were you doing kissing me?!"

"I dunno…I was bored."

"Oooh! So whenever you're bored you're just gonna make out with me?"

His answer was a shrug. "Seriously, Max, why are you flipping out?"

"Oh, I don't know, Fang, maybe because my friend/brother tried to make out with me twice today!"

"Hey, the first time was successful," he pointed out smugly.

"Just shut up," I said, hitting his chest lightly as I staggered from his room, in a drunk-like, post-kiss way, much to my disappointment. Fang could obviously see from that walk that I so loved that kiss.

Which, y'know, I did…

But we're not gonna talk about that right now, are we? Si? Entendemos? Estamos claros? My basic knowledge of Spanish and handiness with the Yahoo app Babelfish helped me create those few sentences. Yes, I'm a linguistic genius. Thank you, so much. Your applause really isn't necessary. Oh, you're too kind!

Literally, they mean, "Yes? Do we understand? Are we clear?"

Yuuup...

I'm rambling because I'm currently trying not to pass out. Making my cortex of my brain think about something ENTIRELY different than Fang. But I bet you my twisted mind could make Spanish sentences into Fang-related material. See? Just watch me...

Spanish. Makes me think of Mexican. Mexican makes me think of food. Food makes me think of spicy. Spicy makes me think of Fang's cinnamon breath mint. And well, you all know how I know it was cinnamon flavored...

I'm tired. I'm going to bed.

I got up and went over to the bathroom. Thank God, Iggy was done. I ran inside, peed quickly (it's possible!), and swished quickly with a toothbrush. I grabbed a string of floss and ran back into my room, flinging myself onto my bed, sticking the cinnamon minty flavored floss in my mouth, and drifted to sleep.

Guess who I dreamed about that night?

Oh yeah, and why do people have a weird obsession with cinnamon?

So yeah! That's the first chapter, I guess. :D Idk if I should continue or not? Review? Even my iCarly people? You don't need to even know the storyline of MR to review, I just wanna know if the storyline is okay.

Oh yeah, and these themes are a little mature. :D Yup. Kinda like the last chapter of iBet Sam. But whatever.

Love and ciao,

Adnama19