He studied the stained, folded letter in his hands, his blurry, teary, vision preventing him from actually reading it. Even before he received the envelope, he knew who it was from. It was hand delivered by Gilbert, his best friend's older brother. The young man tried to convince himself that it would be filled with good news, but who was he kidding? The look on Gilbert's face and his few words left nothing to imagination. As soon as he held it, he felt its heavy weight. It wasn't going to be good.

Feliciano sat on his side of the bed. He reached for the nearby glass of water resting on the bedside table. It helped regulate his breathing and concentrate on something else, most of the time. Using the end of his long sleeve, he dabbed the corners of his eyes and dried off the beginning tears that refused to obey. He took a deep breath, cleared his throat, and opened the letter.

"Feliciano Vargas, my dearest friend.

I am sorry for my selfish acts. I never intended to hurt you. I had a duty to my Opa. I needed to fight for my country, for my family. Even now, I am selfish in leaving you this letter, praying you will forgive me. I understand if you hate me. I apologize for leaving you with this heavy burden. How I long to be where you are right now, wiping your tears away and holding you in my arms.

I wish we could spend more summers together like we did when we were children. I wish we could have made more memories, happier memories, ones without war and violence, only ones of our love and friendship growing every single day. How I wish I could have told you this in person.

I miss you so much. The small curl on your head, your expressive eyes of honey, your beautiful singing when you cook. I miss your radiant smile the most. Honestly, I can write books on every little thing about you, but I'm running out of time. Remembering you is what helps me live each day.

I love you, Feli, with all my heart. I have always loved you, and I always will.

Forever yours,

Ludwig Beilschmidt

P.S. I know this is a selfish request: please find happiness. I need you to be happy, to have peace, no matter what happens. Forget me if you must. Please, Engel."

His shaky voice couldn't handle the pain any longer, especially reading the last line. His heart ached all over again. The room was filled with sobbing, his normalcy.

Yes, how he wished the same. Feliciano wished many things, too, starting with Ludwig not leaving for the war. Or, gathering the courage to tell his best friend how much he loved him. Or, that Luddy would return quickly and safely, that the violence would just end.

He could never hate him, silly Luddy. Even after all the letters Feli sent to him, and not a single reply, he hoped and prayed for the best.

With that in mind, he made a resolve to find his friend. If Gilbert had this letter, then that meant he had some clue on Ludwig's location or at best how Feli could reach him. He decided to pay a visit to the older man the next day.

Forewarning, I do not have plans to develop this world further.

I wrote this very short story many years ago, I've forgotten what my initial inspiration was. In any case, I wanted to share it (though I'm not sure if the fandom is still alive).

Thank you for reading! I do not own Hetalia: Axis Powers, nor any of its characters. All rights go to Hidekaz Himaruya.