Tipping her head
Jack gazed with heavily lidded eyes at the man who shared her bed.
Pulling the stained sheet from around her painfully thin body she
reached over the man's prone form to a pack of Players cigarettes
on the bedside table. She sat back playing the smoke through her
lips, relishing the acrid burn in her lungs. Tossing the soiled
bedding aside she crossed the room to stare at the dim city lights
through the open patio door. She smoked her cigarette to the filter
and lit another. Stepping onto the patio she let the cool salt breeze
bathe the man's smell from her body. Unashamed of her naked state
she lounged on a cheap plastic patio chair. She was startled out of
her reverie by the sound of the big man snorting in his sleep.
Relinquishing her perch on the patio and reentered the room. She
stepped gingerly across the filth-encrusted carpet and retrieved the
man's wallet from the bedside table. She removed two worn one
hundred credit notes and replaced the wallet. The man woke suddenly
and grasped her wrist.
"Where do you think you're going"
he grunted, his voice thick and his breath rank with bourbon.
"I'm
leaving" she retorted yanking her wrist from his meaty hand, "I've
taken the liberty of removing what you owe me from your wallet" she
flashed the notes in front of his face though he took no notice.
Rolling over with a throaty belch the man took no more notice
of her as she left his bedside and dressed in the flimsy garments
she'd came in. She adjusted her transparent top over her newly
augmented breasts and righted her skirt on her boyish hips. She
fingered the scars that ran just in the fold where her breasts hung
on her chest. At her ribs clearly defined under pale, sickly skin.
Riddick....
His image at once came to mind as
she stared down at her emaciated form. He'd seen through her
disguise. He'd been the first one to notice anything about her body
even if it was only to mention that she might attract the attention
of the planet's starving creatures.
Riddick...
She'd
been in awe of him since the first time she'd seen him; chained
like an animal in the cargo bay. She'd taken him in, absorbed his
presence. She'd drank in his movements. Studied every motion, every
contraction of his body. Studied the curve of his muscles, the
texture of his skin. Played in her mind in the shadows in his eyes.
Even before the fateful night many years later when he'd finally
taken her to his bed, she'd mapped his body in her mind. She knew
exactly how he would feel. She knew the stubble of his head; the
short curls on his chest. The scars on his back, wrists and legs.
Tracing them in her mind before tracing them with her fingers. She'd
loved him from that first moment, loved him so strongly, so fiercely.
And he'd betrayed her. She'd awoken one morning to find him gone.
She'd sat on the bed and stared at the room that they had shared,
one that was now void of his presence. He'd taken his things and
stole away in the night leaving Jack with nothing more than his
memory on the sheets in her loins and in her soul. He'd made her
ugly, ugly like him when he'd abandoned her. He'd created a
monster then, one that began to consume her.
Jack grabbed
her purse and jacket and left the room with one last look at the man
on the bed. He lay with his back towards her now and in the dim light
his broad shoulders and closely cropped hair might have passed for
the lover she'd once knew. Her tastes were discriminating now; she
only fucked men that looked like Riddick. At first it hadn't
mattered. She'd saved enough to augment her body, and buy a cheap
place to stay, one that didn't still smell like Riddick. At first
she'd fuck anyone who could afford to and some that couldn't. But
soon they became men with caramel skin that warmed in dim bedroom
light. Men with scars. Men with short stubble that tingled under her
palm. Men whose broad shoulders and powerful forms threatened to
crush her in the throws of passion. She only loved men she could
abandon in the morning. And she only loved for money.
Jack
welcomed the cold of the street and the darkness that enveloped her.
She welcomed the grit beneath her feet and the rank stench of the
alleyways where she found them. The ones that would take her for the
evening and make her theirs. Men that wouldn't care if she called
out another's name and beat on their chests and backs with her
ineffectual fists cursing a man they did not know. Their faces
blended together in her mind. His face was little more than a blur
now among the rest. So many faces. So many men who resembled a man
she'd come to love and to hate.
"Jack?" the voice
echoed for a moment before hitting home. She lifted her eyes to the
man who stood before her, "you free tonight Jack?" She nodded and
tucked her arm in the crook of his elbow. He wasn't Riddick, but
she could pretend and tonight he was taking her home.
"Outside"
by
Staind
From the album Break the Cycle.
And
you
Bring me to my knees
Again
All the times
That I could
beg you please
In vain
All the times
That I felt
insecure
For you
But I leave
My burdens at the door
But
I'm on the outside
And I'm looking in
I can see through you
See
your true colors
'Cause inside your ugly
Your ugly like me
I
can see through you
See to the real you
All the times
That
I felt like this won't end
Was for you
And I taste
What I
could never have
It's from you
All the times
That I've
tried
My intentions
Full of pride
But I waste
More time
than anyone
But I'm on the outside
And I'm looking in
I
can see through you
See your true colors
'Cause inside your
ugly
Your ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real
you
All the times
That I've cried
All this wasted
It's
all inside
And I feel
All this pain
Stuffed it down
It's
back again
And I lie
Here in bed
All alone
I can't
mend
But I feel
Tomorrow will be OK
But I'm on the
outside
And I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your
true colors
'Cause inside your ugly
Your ugly like me
I can
see through you
See to the real you
