One Shot:
Never
I'd never seen a man more racked with grief. And I had seen a lot of them. He stood in the darkest corner of the room, with his arms folded tightly over his chest, and his sobs were silent even though his entire body vibrated.
I said nothing and just sat on the bed. What could I say? I was grieving as well.
My sisters stood in front of me, staring at that broken man, and said nothing for a long, long time.
"Branson."
Mary spoke but he didn't stop. He didn't stop sobbing or turn to face her. He gasped for air like a man drowning and said nothing.
"It's time." Mary continued and this time he did turn around and the look in his eyes scared me half to death.
"It is not time!" He yelled and strode across the room towards me.
I lept up and reached my arms out to hug him and he strode right into them, sobbing a helpless sob I'd never heard him use before. But he walked right through me and knelt by the bedside, grasping my hand and pulling it to his face to kiss.
I was crying too, and I turned around to stare down at my lifeless body. No. I could hardly believe it, but it was true. No.
"No, love, my darling, wake up, tell them its not time, no." He was sobbing and shaking and I wanted to desperately to comfort him but I didn't know how too.
"Tom," Mary and Edith looked at each other, stricken beyond measure, but he ignored them, still sobbing over my cold, stiff hand.
"Darling love, wake up, for me, for the baby, wake up."
My baby.
I looked around anxiously for my baby but she wasn't there. Where had she gone, that baby that I had loved from the moment I had known she was there, even before I had known?
I walked slowly up to Edith and Mary and planted myself in front of them, placing my hands on my hips. They looked right through me, of course, but I tried to make them listen.
"Where is my baby?" I demanded of them, and Edith twitched, as if she'd heard something, but didn't say or do anything more. "Where is she? Why isn't she with Tom? Tom needs her!"
I didn't expect them to respond, but I thought I saw Mary's head jerk slightly, like an involuntary response. I thought she nodded.
Then, she put her hand on Tom's shoulder. I was glad that she continued even though he shrugged her off.
"Tom, your baby. She needs her father. You need to go to your baby."
"No." He shook his head adamantly. "I can't go to her. Sybil needs me right here."
"Sybil is gone." Edith's voice was unusually strong and sure. "You can't do anything for her now. But you can for your baby. Sybil would want you too."
I hadn't noticed that the tears were continuing to fall down my face. I placed my hand on his shoulder, and he tilted his head towards it, almost as if he was trying to trap it between his cheek and shoulder.
I tried not to jerk back in bewilderment. Surely he could not see me?
"I want you to look after our baby girl, Tom." I whispered softly and got down on my knees behind him. "We both love her so much. Don't let her suffer for an accident that wasn't her fault."
Silence reigned all around.
Tom dropped my dead hand. He stood up.
Startled, Edith and Mary moved back as he turned to stride towards the door.
Surprised, I smiled slightly through my tears and followed him to the door.
"Where's my baby?" He roared down the corridor as he flung the door open.
"Tom?" Mary scuttled after him as did Edith.
"Branson?" She shouted after him.
"Sybil wants me to take care of the baby!" He continued to bellow as he walked down the corridor.
Servants and family members began to emerge from different rooms to stare at him in bewilderment.
"The gentleman is mad!" One of the new footman declared and I shot him a dirty look as I passed him.
"Hush. It is no wonder." Anna whispered sympathetically, her eyes red rimmed and puffy.
"Sybil wants me to look after the baby!" Tom repeated when he turned a corner and suddenly came across my father.
Oh dear.
I saw them square up to each other and Tom's eyes flashed with such a sudden hatred that I started crying all over again.
"What are you shouting about?" Papa's voice was tightly controlled.
"I'm going to go see my baby." Tom's voice was quiet but firm.
Papa looked him up and down patronisingly, and I felt that familiar protective feeling stir in the pit of my stomach.
"I don't think you're in a fit state to do that. Go to bed and rest, Tom. I will take care of the baby." Papa turned his back on Tom and therefore did not see Tom shove him.
Papa stumbled and sprawled across the corridor.
"You are not going any where near my baby!" He sobbed loudly, angrily. "Sybil and I don't want you anywhere near our baby!"
Papa stared up at him in shock. Then anger.
"This is why I think you are not ready to see the child."
He stood up slowly and brushed off his coat.
"No! You are not to go near baby, and when Dr. Clarkeson deems her fit to travel I will be taking her far, far away from this god awful place. Sybil would want me too. She's our baby."
"This was Sybil's home." Papa honestly looked confused.
Tom gritted his teeth.
"This place killed Sybil. But I won't let it kill our child."
I could see papa's face getting redder and redder the more Tom spoke.
"Sybil and I both agreed that we'd move out at the first opportunity and get a place of our own and that's exactly what we're going to do, because Sybil would want it, and Sybil deserves it and Sybil was always right and Sybil—"
"SYBIL IS DEAD!"
I didn't see papa snap, but I saw his face when he had. And it was angry.
"AND YOU KILLED HER!" Tom retorted. "NOW GET OUT OF MY WAY, OLD MAN, BEFORE I KILL YOU TOO! SYBIL WAS THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO ANY OF US AND YOU JUST THROUGH AWAY HER LIFE BECAUSE YOU WANTED A DOCTOR WHO HAD DELIVERED ROYALTY! YOU WEREN'T HER FATHER AT THE END, SIR, AND OUR CHILD WILL NEVER KNOW THAT YOU WERE HER FATHER AT ALL. NEVER! GET OUT. OF. MY. WAY!"
And with that, Tom shoved papa out of his way and hurried to the nursery. He didn't even look back at papa, and neither did I, even though I knew it wasn't his fault.
When Tom reached the nursery, he scared the nurse half to death and ordered her out of the room. She didn't protest.
Then there was silence. Just complete and utter silence, only to be pierced by the coos of my baby. I went to stand over at her cradle. I swore, when she looked up at me with those eyes so similar to mine, she looked right at me. Right at me. And smiled.
Tom stood on the other side of her cradle. He didn't smile and our baby didn't look at him, too curious about me.
"Hello little one." I whispered and crouched down beside her. "I'm your mummy. You won't know me, or see me ever again, but I hope that you'll always know that I love you and that you'll always listen to your daddy. He's very upset at the moment, dearest, so I need you to be a good girl for him. Love him more then you could love anybody else, precious, even me, because he needs it."
My tears started to fall again, at the same time Tom's did.
"I'm sorry, Sybil." He whispered as he looked down at our daughter. "But i'm not sure I can do this without you. I'm not sure I can live without you."
"Hush." I came to stand beside him and hoped against hope he could hear me. "Of course you can. You have our little girl, don't you. And I'll love you always, remember that. I will forever love you because, you see, our love is the type of love that is true and honourable and cannot be destroyed by death or time. You know the most powerful loves are based on loyalty and commitment and grief and pain and struggle and fights and heartbreak. And thats why our love will surpass all, even Mary and Mathews. Because, my darling, we have all of that. Our love will be enduring. And when you are finally ready, I will be here, standing in that light wearing this hideous dress, still with my pregnancy weight, because our love is eternal. Do you hear that, my darling? Nothing will come between our love. And I will always, always be here and love you. I love you, my darling. Don't cry for me, because our love will always keep me alive. Always and forever."
