I am okay with frogs.
Frogs jump and throw you off their backs, sure, but at least they're consistent about it. You know when they're going to leap, because they get all tense and you know you're going to die and you grab on tight and float and grab tight again and land… and then you're done until the next leap. Consistency, I tell you.
Not chickens.
Chickens do not hop. They peck. As in, grab on, prepare to die, and WOP WOP WOP WOP WOP and you fall forward with each demented chicken stab at the ground. And the chicken doesn't even distract you by mocking tones, being the demented chicken it is. I cannot stand chickens.
Neither can Sasuke or Sakura, by the looks of it. Sasuke's used to power, man, and anything not following his faultless, oh-powerful commands is going down. Oh, interesting. Lighting wings on fire is not a good tactic for hyperactive chickens, Sasuke. You are going to need rescuing soon if you don't die from hitting the water… ouch. Well, too bad about you. Sakura's already unconscious; you guys just don't have my power.
Nice, Kakashi. Now I am lying down on the ground, in a very crispy ring of fire, just cause you had to go swap Sasuke's chicken with mine. Mine was doing just fine, mind you. And now every single one of your students has fainted or is at least lying in a position suggesting fainting, all cause you actually decided to show up on time today.
So we actually thought you had something worthwhile to teach us. Team seven will never learn. Should have known once the summoning scrolls appeared. Well, at least now the burning chicken is eating the scrolls and the other is WOPping your mask. You lose, Kakashi.
And now I better go hit everyone on the head until they wake up and threaten bodily torture. Or, even better, actually commit bodily torture. Because if I wake them up any other way I'll still be killed because my nice old team mates will think I'm a fake.
You know what, Kakashi?
You suck.
Fin.