Author's Note: I wrote this baby shortly before 8.15 came out but never got around to finishing it. This may or may not be a multi-chapter fic but we'll so how this one does. Technically, this is my very first darvey fic so apologies if they seem out of character! English isn't my native language so again, I apologize for any mistakes that might be in this fic. ENJOY! Please please please tell me what you think in the reviews and tell me if I should post another chapter leading up to 8.16! Thank you!
"Because you've always been-" he stops himself, unsure of what will happen if he lets the words out.
"Been what? Too afraid to say it?" She's daring him to finish his sentence.
Her gaze falls to the floor when he doesn't elaborate, a sigh slipping out of her. The disappointment is visible on her face as she looks back at him. She looks worn out. He feels it too. He's tired of their status quo. Of yet another unfinished sentence.
"Yeah, that's not a surprise."
He's thinking of them when Scottie calls. The coincidence draws out a small chuckle out of him. Grabbing his phone off his desk, he presses the answer button.
"Scottie, to what do I owe the pleasure of this phone call?" he teases.
"Just calling to say thank you. You could've just thrown me under the bus but you didn't. Thanks, Harvey."
"It's the least I can do. After all, you've pulled me out of shitty situations numerous times. I gotta return the favor somehow." The teasing tone is gone now, replaced by a more serious, softer one.
"True," she says then a pause, "Guess we're even now."
"I guess we are."
A moment of silence passes between them before Scottie speaks up again.
"So," she hesitates, as if debating whether or not she should bring this up, "I guess the Donna thing still hasn't been resolved?"
"Scottie." The warning falls off his tongue, not wanting to discuss his current predicament with his ex-girlfriend. He can practically feel her smirk through the phone and immediately regrets the defensive tone he's using.
"You have to tell her, Harvey. She's not gonna wait around forever."
"Tell her what?" He's growing irritated by the second.
"You know what."
You know I love you, Donna.
He quickly tries to shake off the painful memory off his mind.
"What makes you think she's even waiting?"
"If you still can't see it by now then you're an even bigger idiot than I thought you are." His lack of response makes her continue. "One day, she's gonna find someone who actually tells her how they feel and trust me, when that day comes the last thing you wanna do is look back on this moment and wonder 'if only'."
"That all?" His tone is clipped but she knows she's got him.
"I've said my piece. Now are you gonna say yours?" she questions him.
"Take care, Scottie. Try not to get involved in too many shady shit," he mocks.
"You're such an ass. Take care, Harvey." And with a press of a button, the call ends, leaving him alone with his thoughts once more.
She's gonna find someone who actually tells her how they feel.
His former lover's words echo in his head, taunting him. A knot forms in his stomach at the mere thought of her moving on with someone else. He knows he's not supposed to feel this way. She's not his girlfriend. He doesn't feel anything towards her.
Right?
No, he doesn't feel anything. He doesn't feel anything for her when he chose her over Paula. He doesn't feel anything for her when he holds her close all night at their best friends' wedding. He certainly doesn't feel anything when she kissed him out of the blue in her office.
He thinks if he says it enough maybe he'll actually believe it.
But he doesn't.
No one does.
Something's shifted between them ever since he broke up with his girlfriend for her. This he knows. They've been different. The playful nature of their relationship have resurfaced and it reminds him of a different them. Of a younger, less complicated version of them. They share food and glasses of Macallan. They're a lot less guarded with each other than they used to be, allowing themselves to acknowledge past memories. Of that particular night and strawberries and whipped cream. The look of fond exasperation on her face whenever he gets away with mentioning that night is something that he strives for these days. That and the little smile she gives him as she shakes her head and calls him an idiot. They're inching towards that place more and more every day and he's sure that she senses it too, that it's not just him. He knows this because he notices the way her gaze lingers a little too long at his lips whenever she thinks he's not looking, notices the way she's softer around him these days.
What he doesn't know is that she catches him doing the same thing often. Not yet anyway.
Our lines are as blurry as lines can get.
Her words have never rung true more than they do in this very moment.
His whole body is itching to do something about it. To confront her and finally get them out of the limbo they've been in for the past 14 years. But as always, the fear overpowers the urge. Sometimes he thinks that maybe this is all they're meant to be.
Close enough to give each other a taste of what could be but never really enough to make it work.
He hopes to God that's not the case.
Time to find out.
Before he knows it, his feet are taking him away from his office, in search for the redhead that's been occupying his thoughts. Her office is empty when he gets there and for a brief moment he panics because maybe he's a little too late again. Walking out, he spots her figure near the receptionist. Just when he's about to let out a relieved breath, the sight of her standing there looking practically ethereal in a simple black dress leaves him breathless.
He voices out a timid greeting, "Hey."
"Hey."
"I just wanted you to know-"
"Scottie called to thank me, Harvey."
"That's funny she just called me."
"Well, I guess she's grateful to the both of us." She gives him a sweet smile and then they're engaging in a stare that's far too soft and intimate for the office he ends up momentarily forgetting what he's about to say.
He breaks the eye contact and shifts his eyes to the floor, visibly fidgeting on the spot. "Did she say something to you about.." he trails off, nerves getting the better of him.
"About what?" She sounds a little out of breath and he would've picked up on it if it weren't for the fact that he's scared shitless of what would happen next.
"Us." He swears he stopped breathing then. Cautiously watching her reaction, he waits for a response. He can see her eyes widen at his words, clearly not expecting them. Her jaw drops a little bit as her mouth forms an 'o', still not saying anything.
Harvey lets out a nervous chuckle.
Oh, fuck it. What's the worse that could happen anyway?
"I know that," he hesitates, gaze anywhere but on hers, "I know that we said things were back to normal between us but I just wanted to know if maybe we-"
The elevator dings and a familiar looking man steps out.
"Oh, perfect timing."
Harvey watches with confusion as the man lightly touches her arm and sends her a gentle smile. He can vaguely hear Donna choke out his name and he thinks she sounds a little flustered, as if he caught her doing something she doesn't want him to know.
Oh.
Oh.
Thomas Kessler, CEO, one of Louis's client.
He doesn't let the shock show. Instead, he offers up his hand and lets Donna introduce them. The air is tense around the three of them. Thankfully, Thomas swoops in and puts them out of their misery by reminding Donna that they need to leave.
His body is paralyzed as he watches her leave with him. She turns to look at him as if wanting to say something but she doesn't. Neither of them does.
He lets out the breath he doesn't know he's holding when the elevator doors snap shut. Dread crawls up his spine. The realization doesn't hit him like a ton of bricks or a slap in the face. No, it creeps in slowly, like the missing piece of a puzzle he doesn't want to finish. He should've seen it coming.
Harvey gets it now.
He understands now why she's been pulling away these past few days. Why she hasn't been sparing time for him. Why she's usually gone at the end of the day before he can ask her to stay for a few drinks. She's been looking happier too.
He feels like an idiot. An idiot for even entertaining the idea that maybe, just maybe, she's been reserving that look for him. That they've been having these moments. He feels stupid for letting his guard down when all this time she's been moving on with someone else.
She's moving on from him and he's still stuck wondering whether or not she lied to him about not feeling anything.
Maybe he is an idiot after all.