Disclaimer: I wish I had something witty to say for a disclaimer... Oh well. Let's just say I have neither a "Stephenie" nor a "Meyer" in my name.
Summary: Ever wonder what goes on in Renesmee's developing little mind? I did. Set during Chapter 35 while Bella is with J. Jenks.
Rating: K
Spoilers: Don't read if you haven't read Breaking Dawn.
Author's Notes: This was originally a school project. I chose to write Chapter 35 of Breaking Dawn from Renesmee's POV. How did it turn out? You tell me. My first fic, so be brutal!
"Headed out?" Edward asked. It sounded more like a statement than a question. His indifferent tone of voice and blank expression did little to conceal his underlying concern. I had never seen my father so tense: In my few short months of life, I'd come to realize that vampires' emotions rarely manifested physically.
"Yes, a few last minute things…," my mother replied casually. They were trying to keep the mood light, and I doubt either realized I could see right through their forced calm.
"Hurry back to me." Edward said with a smile. This, I knew, was genuine. I loved to watch my parents together because their love distracted me from the more serious matters at hand.
Bella's whispered "always" floated back to us as she fluidly stepped into my father's Volvo and sped away. He held me tighter to his chest and I rested my head in the crook of his neck, welcoming the refreshing coolness of his skin. I didn't feel his presence in my mind, which was a rarity, so I gently touched my palm to his smooth marble cheek and showed him my crib. I was suddenly very weary.
Once in bed I did not sleep, but rather pondered the curious train of events that started when Alice had left. I kept myself alert enough to change my train of thought should my father feel the need to read my thoughts, for I did not want him to catch me worrying. For starters, why did everyone seem to think things would be different after the Volturi visited? What did we do wrong? Why was it so crucial that they like me? Nobody would give me a straight answer. Even Jacob cringed at my innocent question and hurriedly changed the subject. It frightens me to be kept in the dark, to not know what is causing everybody else such pain.
But then, I did know that it was somehow my fault. The Volturi's greatest fear is the exposure of our kind, and maybe my existence threatens the delicate web of secrecy they have worked so hard to preserve. Whatever it was, their impending arrival was enough to cause a gathering of vampires, a new alliance with Jacob and the werewolves, and Alice and Jasper's frantic retreat. A single tear slid down my cheek as I thought of the expression on Alice's face that fateful night when she had a vision of the Volturi arriving. I'll never forget how her beautiful eyes clouded with anguish and despair. My father's strangled gasp struck fear into my heart, and that fear has yet to subside. I just want it to be over. I want everything to go back to normal.
"Nessie?" I'd recognize Jacob's husky, gentle whisper anywhere. I looked up and saw his liquid dark eyes staring into mine, riddled with concern. He always knew exactly when I needed him. He lifted me from my wrought-iron crib and padded softly outside. Snow was gently falling, and for a moment, I panicked. Alice had said that the Volturi would come with the snow.
"Don't worry; it isn't cold enough for the snow to stick yet." Jacob murmured into my hair. Unlike my father, he couldn't read my mind, but nevertheless he seemed to know what I was thinking.
"I almost wish it was, so we could get this over with." I responded.
Jacob's face became a mask of pain. "Believe me, you don't." I winced, wondering again what was so bad about the arrival of the Volturi. Seeing my reaction, Jacob's face softened. "Let's just take it one day at a time."
By now we had reached the massive oak tree near my cottage where Jacob's pack often rested. The fading light of the winter sun highlighted the few amber leaves that still dared to cling to the otherwise barren branches. I didn't know if Jacob had a reason for taking me here, but I was content just to be with him. He lay me down on my back and assumed the same position next to me.
Within moments, a quiet snoring alerted me that my companion had fallen asleep. It never ceases to amaze me how fast the werewolves can drift off. Snowflakes danced between the lonely remaining leaves and rested briefly on Jacob's bare chest before melting and evaporating away. I watched this process for several minutes, quietly musing about the future. Flutter. Melt. Hiss. Flutter. Melt. Hiss.
And then it hit me. I was just like a snowflake. I was floating through life as each one floated through the sky. I was unique. That was not allowed. I needed to be extinguished. But unlike the snowflakes, which continued to fall undeterred at the loss of their kind, there was only one of me. I could easily be snuffed out. As if I never existed. And my family would do anything to protect me. In doing so, they would be punished. A slight movement from the window of the house caught my attention. I found myself staring into the grim, stony eyes of my father.
The next few days passed by in a blur. Sleep played coy, eluding me, repelled by my racing thoughts. I spent the nights in the tent my mother had set up for me trying to think of a solution, a way to make the Volturi accept me, and save everyone I love. But always, the answer escaped my grasp, slipping through my fingers like stubborn prey. Often I pounced, always missing my target and ending up sprawled and unsatisfied.
Until the night before New Year's Eve. The snow came down heavily and quickly blanketed everything in sight. I awoke from a fitful sleep to find the entire atmosphere had changed. The tension threatened to suffocate me as I wandered outside and found my mother. She helped me dress in a frilly little outfit and gave me a surprisingly heavy backpack. I took one look at her miserable expression and decided against asking her what it was for.
"I love you," she told me. "More than anything."
'I love you, too, Momma." I answered, grasping the delicate locket at my neck, which she had given me for Christmas. It contained a tiny photo of her, my father, and me. "We'll always be together." In life or death, I didn't add.
"In our hearts we'll always be together." She breathed. "But when the time comes today, you have to leave me."
It had never occurred to me that she would want us to separate. How could I let her face the Volturi's wrath without me? How could I live with knowing she and the others would be punished because of me? I reached out to touch her. NO.
She swallowed, and looked about to cry, though I knew she couldn't. "Will you do it for me? Please?"
I pressed my fingers harder to her face. Why?
"I can't tell you. But you'll understand soon. I promise," she whispered. So my father hadn't told her I knew. Maybe it was for the better.
I showed her Jacob's face. Was he to come with me?
She nodded, and pulled my fingers away. "Don't think about it. Don't tell Jacob until I tell you to run."
I nodded. So we were to run like cowards! But there was nothing I could say. I hated feeling so powerless.
My mother reached into her pocket and produced the extravagant necklace that had been Aro's wedding gift to her. She fastened the thick gold rope around her neck, and I wondered why she chose to wear it. Maybe she thought it would please Aro. It was beautiful.
"Pretty," I whispered. Then I wrapped my arm around her neck. I wasn't about to waste our last precious minutes together. She started off toward the clearing where everyone had gathered to wait.
My father cocked one eyebrow as we approached, but said nothing. Instead, he enveloped us both in his arms for one long moment and then, with a deep sigh, let us go. I dared not look into his eyes, for I feared I would see my own fear reflected.
I climbed onto my mother's back and scanned the group of vampires who had chosen to sacrifice themselves to protect me. Most of them wore an expression of determined defiance, while a few seemed void of all emotion. I could hear the heavy panting and strong heartbeats of the werewolves in the forest behind us. It was all my fault. My fault. My fault. The words pulsed to the rhythm of the heartbeats.
From the forest, the enormous russet Alpha wolf emerged to stand next to my mother. I reached out to twine my hand in his fur. I felt a little more relaxed with Jacob by my side. My father reached back to grab my mother's hand. We stood in solemn silence for what seemed like an eternity.
And then my father stiffened and hissed, a sound that chilled me to the bone. I couldn't bear to watch. I buried my face in my mother's neck and waited for the end to come.
Like it? Hate it? R & R por favor.