Everything was tinted a deep green. The forest was dark, unforgiving, forbidding. Fear washed through me in waves, but I continued on. I wasn't sure where I was, how I got there, or where I was going, but I knew I had to get there. I stumbled, tripped, and fell countless times. I felt the pain from falling, but it didn't stop me. Before I had knew it, I was there. A clearing of trees, fallen logs, bushes…It was all so familiar, but I couldn't think of why. Then I heard it. His voice. Calling for me. It was velvety soft. Beautiful. "Bella." Over and over again he called. I looked everywhere, desperate to respond, but I had no voice. Every shout, every plea was silent. I dropped to my knees. Wrapping my arms around myself. About to concede defeat, But at that exact moment, he stepped out from behind a tree. Smiling. Welcoming me back into his arms. Saying my name. Edward.
I sat bolt upright in my bed, dripping with sweat. Sweat? That was unusual for me, but this dream, was also unusual. It was not like the others I had been having these past few months. Well, they were the same nightmare really. Reoccurring. I couldn't really describe what happened in it. All I knew was that, in the end, he always ended up leaving me, broken in the forest, and I always woke up screaming and unsettled. No, this one was much, much different. It wasn't a bad dream at all. As usual, he…I still had trouble using his name, was the star of my subconscious. But in this dream. He wasn't leaving. He was returning. I pressed my mind to remember, exactly, what had happened. Had it been a premonition? No. That was silly. I wasn't Alice after all. But, I still had an unsettling feeling. In the pit of my stomach. Moving up to my chest. The hole. I had thought too much about him, and it was catching up with me. I held my sides, trying desperately to breathe normally, but it came out in gasps.
I pulled myself back together, almost literally, with the thought that I had moved on. Just like he had wanted me too. As of recently, Jacob and I were official, as he liked to call it. I thought back to the memory of that night he had asked me, no…begged me to move on. To give him a chance. So I agreed. But, to me it felt like more like a concession. Like I was giving something, or someone up, rather than gaining. I felt guilty just thinking about it. I knew I was a horrible person. Of course, I loved Jacob, that wasn't the question. Did I love him more than…I gulped…Edward? Or did I just convince myself that it was time to move on. A part of me felt like I only accepted because it had been his last request of me. It had been what he had wanted for me. The fact that Jacob was a werewolf and therefore, the sworn enemy of the vampire family I had loved so much mattered little to me now. I accepted these mythical stories like they were perfectly rational. Like I wouldn't be shipped off to a mental institute if I mentioned it to anyone else. If a unicorn had pranced into my backyard, I would have welcomed it to stay and thought nothing of it. I was messed up, that much I was sure of. I sighed heavily to myself, now fully recovered. I looked at the clock. It was already nine-thirty. It was a Saturday, so I had permitted myself to sleep in, until after Charlie had already left for his bi-weekly weekend fishing trip. This weekend, he brought Billy with him. It almost seemed like they wanted us to… But not, I pushed that thought aside. Charlie hadn't gone crazy, after all. He was just relieved that I was finally back to normal. Or as normal as I was every going to get back to.
I got out of my bed, grabbed a change of cloths, and hurried to the tiny bathroom that I shared with my father. The shower was refreshing, after waking up doused in my own sweat. I made it fast however, wanting to call Jacob, and see what he had planned for us today. He always had plans….always keeping me busy. I guess it was a good thing. I finished blow-drying my hair and put on my clean cloths. I had picked out a fairly thin long-sleeved top, blue, and light jeans. I was glad that the weather was unseasonably warm for April. As I descended the stairs and turned for the kitchen, a feeling stopped me. Maybe calling Jacob could wait. I had the sudden urge to return to an unhappy place in my memories. The place from my dream. Surely, it had been long enough by now to return to the place where I had last seen him. Where he had said goodbye to me. Where he had left me. The dream had had a strange effect on me. I suddenly wanted to revisit this place. So, just in case, I grabbed a coat from the hook next to the door, and walked out, heading across the street to the worn trail that led me to the clearing where, a little over half a year before, I felt like my life had been ended. In a way it had been.
I stumbled over the tiniest rocks and twigs as I made my way slowly. I cursed my clumsiness on several occasions during the ordeal, but I refused to stop. It took less than ten minutes, before I stopped suddenly realizing I was here. There was the tree he had leaned against, as he had told me the things I'd never wanted to hear. And the trees he had disappeared into afterwards…where I had tried to follow him, tired to stop him. Of course, it hadn't worked. His mind was already made up. I sat down on a newly fallen log, amongst the green. Trees, bushes, brush, moss…everywhere, moss. It was so green, it made my eyes hurt, so I closed them, putting my hands in my head and resting that way for a moment. Letting myself be swept up in the sounds of the forest. The chirps of birds, the whistle of the wind through the ever-green trees, the crunch of brush under foot….? I lifted my head. Someone else was near. And then, he was there. Edward.
"Bella?" My name sounded foreign spoken in the velvet smooth tone. A voice I recognized all too well. The one voice I had tried to forget.
"No…" I shook my head, disbelieving. I refused to look at him. To confirm what I had heard. My mind reeled. Who else could It have been? I tried to find an answer, desperate now. Then the tears came. Rolling off my cheeks before I had a chance to fight them back. I shook my head more vigorously as that impossibly sweet smell found it's way to my nose. I shut my eyes again. But I heard another tentative step come towards me. The silent tears continued.
"No…You're not here…" I stated. "I must have gone insane." Moments passed. I didn't move. My heart sped up when I stopped trying to refute the irrefutable truth. He was Edward and he was here. Standing before me. I looked up reluctantly, and he was holding out a cold, hard hand towards me.
"No, Bella…You haven't gone crazy." Did I detect a hint of a laugh from him? I would have been angry if I hadn't been so shocked. "I'm really here. I-I realized….I can't stay away from you anymore. I know, that I promised you…promised that you'd never had to see me again. But….God, Bella I'm such a selfish creature." His hand flew up to his head with inhuman grace, and he shook it lightly. "I couldn't leave you. I love you. Please….Please, Bella don't cry….I'm so sorry. You have no idea." His voice chocked off, like he didn't know what else to say to me. So, I stood, unsteadily, and threw my eager arms around his neck. Burying my face into his ice cold chest. The feeling was so familiar, yet so foreign at the same time. He loved me? How, in any plane of existence did that make sense? I let the tears flow more freely now, soaking his button-down shirt. He stroked my hair, just like he used to, trying to comfort me, though I didn't know if that was possible.
At that moment, the world began to spin around me. My head felt light. No! My head screamed at me. Don't you dare! You will NOT miss a minute of this! The screams in my head continued, but I couldn't react, it was too late. I felt myself slip away. Everything went black. The last thing I remembered was a pair of strong, gentle arms, wrapping themselves securely around me, keeping me from falling.