Just some of Beast Boy's thoughts. There'll be plenty more!
Fuck off. I don't want to hear it. I don't want you telling me everything's okay when it's not. The only thing that is okay is you. Me, on the other hand, not so okay. Actually, not okay at all. I'm a fucking idiot, and I should have seen it coming. I should have thought before I spoke. I don't know what I was thinking. I don't know if I was thinking at all. Well, maybe I was; maybe I was thinking you might feel the same way. Maybe I thought you might love me back. But that's not how unrequited love works, huh? Whatever. I shouldn't have told you. Plain and simple. I just completely regret it.
I regret it because now, everything is different. Whether you want it to be or not, it is. Don't tell me it's not. It's just that, now it won't be easy. Nothing will be easy. It won't be easy to hide the way I feel with my mask of happiness. You'd see right through me. You probably already do. Hell, it's not going to be easy to even be around you. How am I supposed to even face you? How am I supposed to face the world?
Maybe I don't have to face the world. Maybe I could just put myself out of my misery, and save the world from all my bull shit fakeness. It'd be better that way. For everyone. No more masks. And nobody would have to help me out of this slump. Nobody would have to guide me through depression. Through sickness. It will just be better, for everyone.
I know you'll encourage me not to. Because you're just so fucking nice. Bull shit. You wear masks too. Hell, you're Robin. Your job is to wear a mask. But figuratively, c'mon, we all wear masks. I'm just good at spotting them. You wear many masks. Sure, there's the one you save the world in. Then there's the one where you play nice to impress. To impress her. To impress everyone. To make them all see how fucking wonderful you are. But mainly, to get her to notice you. It sucks, huh? Trying to get someone to notice you. And then you finally build the courage to make them notice you and they just plain reject you. Well, you'll never know how that feels. You're perfect. So good luck, even though you don't need it. You'll get her, I have no doubt. Because you're so fucking wonderful.
Why do I like you? Why do you do these things to me? Why am I the only one who sees through you?
Why am I the only one who shares your pain? Maybe that's why I like you. Because I know what you're going through to get her to notice you. And maybe because I know, deep down, that if you didn't have to be the one to save the world, get the girl, and be happy even when you're not, then you'd be a wonderfully genuine and honest person. And I adore that. I adore you. Your intelligence, your kindness, your courageousness, your manliness. It's all so amazing. Too bad you have to be Mr. Perfect. Because that just makes you imperfect. You've endured so much and you just have to pretend it's all done and gone away now. Even when it's not. You really are amazing. And I'm really selfish. I know, you have to be perfect to show the world it's okay. To be the backbone of the team. Just to make everyone realize that there is hope. And that's why I like you. That's why I love you.
But now, knowing you could never love me back, I have to do it. I have to stop hiding behind my masks and be a man, like you. Be smart and nice and courageous. And I have to get over you. And be myself. And live. And then I'll be ultimately happy. It's going to be hard getting over you though. But I know, being the nice person you are, you'll be there for me the whole time. But know that I'm here for you as well. You don't have to be perfect to me. Just honest.
I know you'll still pretend you don't need me though. You don't need anyone. That's okay. Just know, you'll get it. You'll get her, you'll overcome everything, and you will be happy. Honestly. You won't have to pretend anymore. Just because you are so … perfect. You'll save the world, get the girl, and be happy all of the time, and I'll sit back and watch. And smile. Knowing that I helped. And knowing that you helped me, as well as everyone else who idolizes you. And once you reach that happiness that I'm sure will come soon in your life, everything will be good. All will be right in the end. And you'll be happy. Everything will be perfect.
Check out next chapter! All of these are kind of similar. Review!