Tear stained cheeks on your face seem to make you more beautiful Em, more vulnerable. I miss our kisses, your loving stares, and the way we held each other, the way I used to smile when I thought of you. I miss you.
I never went to San Francisco Em, did you know that? I couldn't leave you, I couldn't be that far away from you. But, I guess I'm farther away than that now huh?
I'm sorry I didn't tell you everything. I should've. I was scared though. Funny right, your Maya, scared. Honestly, I thought I was protecting you. I always thought I was the tougher one. I was the one that wasn't afraid of us in the beginning and I was all tribal and fierce. But, sitting here I think you were always the tougher one. You're dealing with my death and Allison's and for whatever reason –A is after you. You're a tough chick Em, you know that? I'm grateful for that. It makes me feel a bit better about not being there with you. Just a bit.
You remember that first day we met? That was the day I fell for you. I think you fell for me then too, or maybe that was just your sultry smile that made me think that, either that was the day I knew I had to protect you from any harm.
God, I miss you. It hurts to be so far away from you. Better than True North I guess. Maybe if I told you this wouldn't of happened, you wouldn't be laying on your bed tissues and their matching boxes scattered around you. I can see you clearly from up here, it's nice. Your smile is engraved in my memory, I see it everyday; just like every other memory it's bittersweet. It's –A's doing though so what was I to expect?
I don't want to end this message on a sour note though Em, so I'll keep it short.
I love you. I miss you. I loveyouImissyou.
You'll always be my girl Em.
Maya.