"Not a chance." Reid said.
I looked at him nervously, I couldn't believe that I was going to disarm this bomb with the love of my life right next to me. Funny thing is I'm too chicken shit to tell him how I feel. After breaking things off with Savannah, I knew I should probably tell Reid. I just wasn't sure how he was going to take it. I clearly shouldn't be thinking about this as I am disarming a bomb, but he was all I could think about. I looked from the bomb then at him once more.
"Pretty boy…I…"
I swallowed the lump in my throat and sighed. Well it was now or never. I turned back to the bomb and I promised myself that if I was alive after, then I would tell him how I felt. I cut the wire and shut my eyes. Turns out I was right, looks like all those years in the bomb squad came in handy. I heard Reid sigh next to me. After that everything was a blur, the next thing I remember was being back on the plane. Callahan sat across from me and smiled.
"So, what has you so worried?"
"Excuse me?" I asked.
She shook her head, "I can't figure it out. You just seem so tense."
"Well he did defuse a bomb…" Reid said looking up from his book.
I met his eyes and smiled, a sad smile but it was a smile none the less. I got up and went for some coffee. Someone followed close behind me, I thought it was Callahan but then I felt the familiar touch on my shoulders. Reid never really touched people or let them touch him, but I was most certainly the exception. I smiled just thinking about it.
"What's wrong?" Reid asked.
"Nothing. Just leave it." I said putting down the coffee.
"Something is wrong. Morgan I've known you for years." Reid smiled sadly, "Derek please talk to me."
I think it was the shock of hearing my first name on his lips, or maybe it was because I thought today was the day I was gonna die. I moved closer and gathered him in my arms. I don't know how long he let me hug him, but he just kept saying it's okay. I pulled back and looked away, maybe this would be easier than I thought.
"Reid, I…"
"You what, Morgan? Just spit it out."
"It's nothing, I just wanted to thank you. I thought today was the day I was going to die and if it was, I'm glad I have a friend like you that would have stuck it out with me." I smiled at him, the biggest smile I've had all day.
"Of course. Besides you're not allowed to die, or at least that's what Savannah told Garcia." Reid stated.
"Actually, Savannah and I broke up two weeks ago so I'd doubt she would care. We decided to take a break. It just wasn't what we both wanted." I said matter of factly.
"Oh, uh well…I care. And, what exactly is it that you want Derek?"
There it was again, his first name. It was strange that Reid kept using it, he never seemed interested in using it before.
"Pretty boy I…"
Callahan chose that moment to interrupt, "You guys better get seated and buckle up. We will be landing soon."
Of course I was thankful for that interruption but I was also worried that I would never be able to tell Reid how I felt. As I began walking to my car I sensed someone following, I turned to see Spencer frowning.
"Why didn't you tell me that you and Savannah broke up?" Reid asked.
"I didn't tell anyone Pretty boy, why should you be any different?"
I hadn't meant for it to come out as harsh as it did but I winched as I heard Reid say, "Oh, I see." At that moment Reid scurried away. I looked at the ground wondering how the day ended up like this. That night I had a lot of trouble sleeping, so I decided to make a phone call, one that I wasn't sure if I was ready to make.
"Hello?" Reid said groggily.
"Hey, it's me…before you say anything I need you to listen carefully."
At his tone Reid sat up, "What is it Derek? Is everything okay?"
"You don't follow directions very well…" I chuckled, "Everything is okay, well almost everything. I just keep thinking about today and how I almost died. When I came face to face with that bomb I couldn't stop thinking about you…I didn't care about my safety at all. I just wanted to protect you."
Reid sighed, "Derek, you saved both of us. You protected me just fine."
"Spencer I need to tell you something. I…I love you." I stopped to breathe.
"Morgan. We are best friends, I love you too. I know we don't usually get mushy and we rarely talk about feelings but I do care about you. You're like the brother I never had." Spencer smiled, "Are we okay now? I feel like you wanted to say that all day. You just weren't acting right, not that I blame you. I'd feel the same way if I had to disarm a bomb."
The whole time Reid was talking all I could do was think about the word brother. How could Reid think of me as a brother? Sure I was protective, but a brother? I was crushed knowing that Spencer thought of me that way, I knew at that moment that I could never tell him how I truly felt.
"Sorry for calling you so late kid, just needed to tell you. Look, I'll see ya tomorrow."
"Okay, goodnight Derek." Spencer said sleepily.
Even though Spencer was sleepy he hadn't missed Morgan's sad tone. He knew something else was bothering him, but decided to figure it out in the morning. Morgan on the other hand couldn't sleep.
In the early hours of the morning he decided to go for a run, by the time Derek had to get ready for work he thought that maybe it would be a better day if he just called out. The only reason he decided against it was the thought of not ever being able to face Reid.
Derek left his house and grabbed a coffee on the way to the office. About ten minutes later Reid walked in with two cups.
"Oh, I didn't realize you would have a coffee." Reid frowned.
"No worries. I'm sure Callahan could use a cup." I stated as I began walking towards the break room for a breather. The rest of the day was spent avoiding Reid and trying to do paperwork. Towards the end of the day there was a knock at the door. Before I could say anything the genius rushed in.
"Okay, so are you going to tell me what is wrong today?" Reid asked angrily, "At first I thought maybe you were mad because of the whole bomb thing, but we worked that out, or at least I thought we did. Then, I thought maybe I was too insensitive when we talked last night. I know I don't have the best social skills but I'm not a complete moron. So, since I can't think of anything I did wrong why don't you tell me what is going on?"
I sighed and looked at him, "Nothing. I swear, I'm just so exhausted. I mean it kid, it's nothing."
Reid looked down at his feet and then did something that surprised me, he sat on the edge of my desk almost commanding my full attention. Reid looked into my eyes and smiled, "Well, since nothing is wrong then you can come over to my house tonight and watch a movie."
"I wish I could kid, but I really have a lot of work to do."
"Save it. Morgan it's Friday, do it some other time."
I tried to wrack my brain for a logical excuse on why I wouldn't be able to make it. I looked at Reid and blurted out the first thing that came to my mind, "I have a date. Sorry."
Spencer frowned, "Oh. Well, then I guess I should be going. Wouldn't want you to be late for your date."