Everything in my life was never right. Of course as a child I believed that everything was perfect. I had loving parents. A younger brother I was allowed to tease lightly. Perfect. Until that one day. That day where the worst species in the universe came over to my community. Usually they passed right over us, but for once they decided to stay and kill everything in sight. Dad gave me my little brother to take care of while he went back for Mom. I ran with my brother, but his hand slipped out of mine. I lost him. I lost my dad. My mother slowly went insane from grief, leaving me alone at the age of thirteen.
I continued on my own. Joined an agency. Met a Doctor. Changed in ways I can't even describe. My childhood was lost in memories. Nothing of that time matters. I might be lost now, but not as bad as before. Work was slowly pulling me back into the light, helping me along the way. Then they came into my life.
Those four people that I hold so close to me, never wanting to send them into battle. But I must. I know that their outcome might be different than mine! I can never stop worrying. Of course my fear is hidden behind my mask. My mask of happiness and enthusiasm, willing to do anything. The mask is never taken off, no matter if I'm alone or around people I trust. I hate hiding who I am, but what else can I do? My inner self would frighten everyone in my path. I could break someone with just a quick glance. The pity that everyone would turn towards me, as if I couldn't handle the pain that had been stirring inside me for years.
I wouldn't even be able to face my true self without hiding away in shame. All of my memories would transform into emotions, leaving me lost and stranded. All of this was my fault...hidden on my conscience. Captain Jack Harkness is a killer. I can never stop putting everyone I love into danger.