The Sounds of Yesterday
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Continuation of Echoes . . .
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(Set four years after the hitokiri's re-emergence.)
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OOC Warning . Please be warned.
OOC Warning.
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Disclaimer, same as always, Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only and can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. For all other comments you may contact me through this website or my own.
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-----
From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were - I have not seen
As others saw - I could not bring
My passions from a common spring -
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow - I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone -
And all I loved - I loved alone -
Then - in my childhood - in the dawn
Of a most stormy life - was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still -
From the torrent, or the fountain -
From the red cliff of the mountain -
From the sun that 'round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold -
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by -
From the thunder, and the storm -
And the cloud that took the form
When the rest of Heaven was blue
Of a demon in my view.
"Alone," by Edgar Allen Poe
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Part I: Phantoms & Reality
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Chapter One
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Light and warmth, filtered through the blackness, slowly, coaxing him awake. Until finally sleep slinked away and his eyes fluttered open. Once, twice, the warmth and contentment he'd found in sleep seemed reluctant to let him go, grasping gently at his gi, as it coaxed him back to . . .
His gi?
Kenshin's eyes flew open. Instinctively jerking to what had pulled him. As his gaze dropped to his left, his breathed hitched somewhere in his chest, startled beyond thought, when he found he had a companion. Safely tucked away against him, as Kenshin closed his eyes hoping it was just a dream lingering in the daylight. But when his eyes opened once more Kenshin began to panic, from his angle, all he could really see was dark hair and pale skin, but then that's all he needed. There was only one woman whom he'd ever . . . he couldn't even say it. But he did begin to panic. Because he feared getting caught, he moved too abruptly; as his companion began to stir, shifting against him in a way that made him want to close his eyes and think other thoughts . . .
"Anata," she sighed as his eyes drew open wide, touched and disturbed by the endearment her soft voice made the word. Kenshin admitted, he had absolutely no idea how he'd gotten to her room. Though worried him, really, really worried him was not the sudden lack of memory but the way in which she addressed him.
"Kaoru-dono," he hazard, distress filling him twice over as she began to rise, dark blue eyes capturing his gaze as she raised her head. Small smile blossoming across her face as he tried and failed to describe the effect . . . He couldn't quite articulate but he did know what she might provoke if he dwelled on it a little too long. Because it felt strong, he tried to back away. But to his dismay, as Kaoru began to frown, she also sat up as well.
As thin white cotton sheets drifted down between them, his eyes, despite his body's protest remained fixed upon her face. Because even he knew, if he ever saw her, temptation would be too much to ignore . . .
No matter what the situation suggested though, he couldn't trust it to be the case. For one, he was still dressed and while she was fully undressed, and had gone so far as to address him as anata, he couldn't have . . . done anything. He was still fully dressed, he reasoned, so he just couldn't have. He couldn't have . . .
"Kenshin, what's wrong?" She whispered, as she began to lean forward, Kenshin quickly stood. Turning his back to her before clearing his throat, blushing down to the roots of his hair as Kaoru sighed behind him.
"Kaoru-dono, please . . . Don't be angry," he began. "Sessha didn't mean to . . ."
"Sessha?" She cut off, her angry tone of voice almost forcing him to turn as he felt her anger spike. Confusion seeped along his mind, as his eyes closed, hands fisting tightly at his sides, he just couldn't understand what was wrong with him.
As Kaoru stood, donning on a nearby robe, she secured tightly around her waist, Kenshin remain perplexed. Aware of her stepping over the futon, as she came over to where he stood, anger fading to something like worry as he stiffen at her touch.
"Anata," she whispered, walking around to stand in front of him, as confusion suffused the air.
A puzzled look inching across her features, as she came ever closer to his face, close enough to touch it seemed as he halted her hand mid motion. Eyes opening in time to see a look of shock come across her face, as she backed away, seemingly hurt by the expression fleeting across his face.
"Kenshin . . . You're the rurouni," she whispered, beginning to cry softly as Kenshin could but frown, murmuring, "Yes," bemusedly, as he watched her back away. Worried by the half wail escaping her as he moved to catch her as she fell.
Sobbing against his chest as she tried to push him off, fighting against his hold which suddenly turned reluctant to let her go. And rather then release her, as she might have hoped, he pulled her even closer, baring her furious cry and struggle until all she could do was sob, crying louder against him as she finally buried her face in his chest.
Weeping heart-wrenching sobs, he knew, he was responsible for. But as to how, is what he'd yet to figure out. Though he couldn't imagine ever doing anything so bad, as to warrant this many tears. He just would never hurt her like that . . .
"Kaoru-dono?" He murmured, as she suddenly broke away from him, carefully hiding her face beneath her bangs. "I'm sorry," she whispered. Unable to help the way her voice wavered, as she tried to make the tears stop. Moving far enough away from, until she could rest against a wall.
"Sessha—"
She halted him, effectively cutting his excuses down short as she raised her hand, bidding he be quite as she struggled to take a breath.
"Oi!"
As Kenshin turned . . .
"Jou-chan—"
Interrupted them, giving her enough time to flee as Kenshin shook his head, allowing her a moment before he had to follow.
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"Where are you?" Kaoru heard, as she ran into the kitchen, wiping at her eyes and nose with the edges of a sleeve, as Sano skulked around some pots and pans . . .
He turned around. "I thought you'd never get up," he exclaimed. "Those little monsters . . ." He trailed off, coming to a standstill it appeared as he noticed the expression on her face. "What's wrong?" He asked. "Did Kenshin not come home?"
No, she thought, as she turned away from him, beginning to pour some water into a pot for stew . . . she shrugged her shoulders. "He's - He's just Kenshin again," she whispered, half glancing at Sano who's expression turned to one of frowning.
"What do you mean he's just Kenshin?"
"Sano." The ex-gangster turned, glancing at the caller with a smile on his face. "Yo, Kenshin," he greeted back, drawing closer to his friend as he heard him say, "Sessha needs . . ." something or other . . . Sano didn't quite seem to hear, as his expression turned understanding. "Che!" he exclaimed, cutting Kenshin off as he suddenly understood what Kaoru had meant. "Oh, Jou-chan," he lamented, drawing towards her, in a silent offer of comfort only to be stopped suddenly a firm hand.
"What's going on here?" Kenshin asked, as Sano's attention fell on a helpless Kaoru. "You haven't told him?" He guessed, watching her as she shook her head.
"Not yet—" Her movements paused. "I can't," her shoulders sagged. "I can't even get myself to speak to him," she murmured, running out of the room as she began to cry anew. Leaving a confused rurouni to stare at a saddened ex-gangster.
As Sano sighed, looking at the half prepared stew she'd been preparing, he inwardly cursed at the fucked up situation. "Come on," he told Kenshin. "Let's go back to your room, I'll explain what happened."
"You can tell sessha here, Sano."
"No I can't," Sano snapped, running a frustrated hand through his hair as he looked around him. "Look," he began, "Jou-chan won't come in unless you're out of the room all right. We have to go."
"Sano?"
"Come on," he turned, leading the rurouni back to his room as he begrudgingly followed.
Halting mid motion as Sano stepped into Kaoru's room. "Sessha can't—" he began as he was unceremoniously pushed into the room.
"Yeah, you can," Sano snapped. "Now sit." He ordered, sliding the shoji closed before turning around, silently gazing at his friend before smiling like the cat that ate the cream, unceremoniously flopping down next to him as Kenshin began to frown.
"So . . . What's the last thing you remember?" Sano asked.
As Kenshin continued to look confused, something like hesitation crossed his face, "Drinking," he murmured, as if he needed to explain no further.
"Alone?"
"Aa," he replied, unnerved by the insinuations his tone had carried.
Still, Sano just smiled, foolishly rubbing at the back of his neck as he said, "Sorry man." Before pausing, "But why were you drinking?"
Looking like he'd been somehow provoked, Kenshin's eyes began to narrow. "Enishi . . ." He murmured, fisting his hands as he tried to remain calm "It was almost a year ago he came . . ." He trailed off, as Sano leaned forward.
"No way," he whispered, looking stunned as Kenshin frowned.
"What?"
"Man," Sano murmured, looking strangely over at Kenshin before biting the inside of his cheek, wondering how to star or how to tell him when—
"Sano!"
The ex-gangster smiled. "That," he said, "Was almost four years ago . . . before I left," he murmured, deeply amused as Kenshin's face drained of color and for a brief, heart stopping moment, looked like he swayed just a little.
"Four years ago?"
"Almost," Sano nodded. "Maybe closer to five, if you think about it."
"Five?"
"Hmm, hmm."
"Five," he echoed, as if that were all he could think of . . . until a new thought dawned. "Kao- Kaoru-dono . . ." he stuttered, tripping over his words as Sano began to smile. "She - she called sessha anata."
"Well," Sano started and then stopped. "I think perhaps I should tell you what happened that night and just work my way through it. Though I still think Jou-chan should be the one to tell about that night. She knows better than I do."
"Sano."
"Yeah, yeah, don't rush me all right. Let's see," he paused gathering his thoughts as he tried to remember exactly what they'd told him.
"Well . . . as far as I know, some hitokiri waiting for you on a roof top, swooped down and nearly killed you. Jou-chan says it was too much like before but we don't know what she means by that . . . Anyhow, she said that from one moment to the next you were gone, leaving Battousai behind . . . in your place." Sano murmured, watching Kenshin as he paled, then colored.
"What do you mean?" He asked, unable to hide the first sparks of anger from showing on his face.
Surprising Sano, who couldn't understand where the anger had come from. As he sighed, reluctant to go any further now, he looked at the floor, deciding he better choose his words a bit more carefully now unless he really wanted to piss him off. Still—"I mean what I said. After you . . . shifted . . . or what ever you want to call it. You came back home with Kaoru."
"She calls sessha anata?"
"What?"
"Why does she call sessha anata?"
"Oh that—" Sano drawled, trying very hard not to smile. "Well you two kind of got together." He explained as certain memories popped into his head, he did begin to smile. "As I recall," he told him, "It was a bit strange at first. For one, you never smiled in public after that and two, you always hovered when anyone came close to Jou-chan." He chuckled, remembering Kenshin's expression when he'd come home. "Kenji came almost nine months after that."
"Kenji?"
Fuck, he thought, sobering up quickly. "Kenshin—" she'd said to tell him but this, this was something she should have told him herself. "Look man," he began, feeling a bit awkward talking to him so openly when he hadn't in Kami knows how long.
"You and Jou-chan—you got hitched some years ago and with the way you are," he smiled a bit. "Well, you got three kids."
Sano didn't think it was gonna be funny but Kenshin's mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water before he fainted and even then, he tried not to laugh too loud.
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"I was afraid this would happen."
"Jou-chan, you need to calm down."
"Calm down . . How can I calm down," she snapped. "I knew this would happen. One day . . . the rurouni was bound to return. I told him. But nooo . . . He just wouldn't listen."
"Kaoru . . ."
"NO. Sano he promised," she whispered. "He promised me Sano. He said he'd ensure that part of him never came back. But look at him." Kaoru cried. "He's the rurouni again Sano. What am I supposed to do with a rurouni . . . who doesn't remember he has a wife?" Her voice wavered, "What am I supposed to do with a man who doesn't even know his children."
Sano sighed and patted her back, not surprised to find the aforementioned rurouni standing at the door.
"You need to go talk to him."
"No," she screeched. "He'll look at me like he used to and call me Kaoru-dono . . . And I can't—I don't think I could stand that." She murmured, leaning into his shoulders as her tears began anew.
When Sano glanced at the door again, concerned over how Kenshin might have interpreted that, he found him gone. As he patted her back, trying to get her to calm down enough to talk to him again, he hoped the rurouni would find it in himself to understand her sudden distress rather than be afflicted by mere words . . . No mater how hurtful they might have been.
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They cut him, worse than he ever imagined her rejection ever could. Her words and obvious displeasure at the mere sight of him, were like a physical blow. That she would prefer the other, over him—was just unfathomable. Didn't he do everything for her? Hmm.
Wasn't he the one that cooked and cleaned, and comforted and protected her? Hmm. Wasn't he the one, her heart had been so set on, he thought, fisting his hands at his sides as the wind grew warm with a burst of ki, whirling leaves, dust and small rocks around the vast expanse of the yard.
He was so angry.
And seemingly becoming ever more so, with the passing of every second. Rurouni or not, he'd never been stupid and her feelings for him—though ignored, had always been acknowledged. So if anyone had a right to claim her, it should have been him—not Battousai, that part of him of him had never been anything more than a hindrance, he tainted everything he touched. How could she prefer him? How, he thought, eyes darkening suddenly on the possibilities as his face fell blank.
A nasty inkling making itself known seconds before he turned on his heel and strode inside, surprising Sano with his arms around Kaoru, too tightly for his liking.
"Sano," he snapped, unable to hide the cold warning his tone bared; at the sight, his jealousy didn't allow him to reason.
It was too much like guilt on his face, Kenshin thought, the way he sprang away from her.
"Kaoru-dono."
She winced only slightly, the lower tempo of his voice and seriousness of expression, helping smooth over her feelings of the much hated nickname.
It made him want to apologize, to return to the rurouni mask and let her be, hoping at some point everything just worked out.
Only he couldn't do that now, this wasn't something he could reason away. All he was to her now was a stranger in a familiar body. A stranger with her husband's face and none of the expressions or words to soothe her the way she would have liked, he thought, watching Kaoru's hopeful expression with something like sadness. It pained him that he knew why.
"A word," he said to her before he turned and left, knowing she would follow him. And like clockwork, her little feet sped behind him, following him into her room and where he sat.
"Close the door," he told her, watching distractedly as she did as told before kneeling in front of him, eyes strangely bright.
He ignored, if for a moment holding on to his anger to give him strength. Locking away his feeling so nothing could be read off his face. "Tell me," he said, purposely keeping his voice even so that she didn't become upset. "Tell me what happened that day."
As Kaoru shifted uneasily, gaze purposely turned away, "I didn't—I didn't mean to," she began when the door suddenly snapped open, scarring her half to death as she turned around.
"Okaasan, Kyoshiro stole my . . . " his voice trailed off, slightly hiding behind his mother as he noticed Kenshin for the first time. "I didn't know Tousan was home," he whispered, stealing a glance at him as Kaoru wrapped him in her arms.
And yes, he was stunned but he also couldn't help but smile. As suddenly moist eyes, grew soft on the pair of them, he pointed at the child, capturing Kaoru's attention when it seemed she'd forgotten him.
"Takeshi," she prompted, giving the boy a gentle push. "Give tousan a hug and then go and eat your breakfast." She commanded, as the boy stumbled over his feet, a sheepish look coming across familiar features, he smiled, leaning forward quickly as he bade him hello. Before springing back with ungodly speed, as he raced out of the room, screaming at the top of his lungs, "You're going to get it now, Kenji. Otousan's home."
Kaoru smiled before deeply sighing, quietly getting up and sliding the shoji closed before pausing. "You wouldn't leave me now, would you Kenshin?"
Turning her gaze at him as he turned away. "We have a family," she stressed. "They need their father."
"And you, Kaoru-dono. What you need?" He asked, watching her wince at the much hated nickname before a little shrug of shoulders and a teary smile, gave prelude to her answer.
"I'm just happy that you're home," she murmured, putting on a brave face as he shook his head.
"You're a liar Kaoru-dono. Sessha can always tell when you lie." He told her, watching her as the small pretense slipped off her face.
"Look," she turned back to say. "I may not be so happy to see your rurouni personality but you're still my husband and you, she emphasized. "Are still the father of my children. Children, which by the way, you love very much. So you will excuse me if after so many years of not seeing you. I've forgotten how to properly address you." She angrily chucked, swaying by her previous spot as he merely blinked at her, wondering what'd happened to his Kaoru-dono, when she growled and he was infinitely surprised to realize she could make him return the gesture.
Provoked on some level, she could understand, as her face suffused with color. He grew angry once again. "Tell me," he forced, "What happened to the hitokiri that attacked me."
"Kenshin," she gasped. "Do you remember? Do you remember what happened?"
"No, Sano told me. Kaoru-dono please . . . Sessha promises not to leave but you have to tell me." He urged.
"Kenshin if I tell you—tell you the truth, you have to mean it. You can't leave . . . but, you have to promise."
Kaoru, he thought, as his eyes began to narrow . . . "Aa," he promised, watching her as she sank to her knees, a sigh of relief escaping her as she sat down. A little frown crumpling her face as she tried to recall the events . . . he could not.
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Just . . . bare with me, ok. Prologues always suck. And I expect this does to but you need the opening before we backtrack.