Disclaimer: I do not own Skip Beat!
A/N: Follows chapter 202 with a few changes. This is my first fic for Skip Beat!
Prologue
Lory looked at the young girl sitting across from him.
"You have no such interest in letting it develop this time either, have you?"
She replied immediately, completely confident. "I do not. None at all."
He expected that. He was fond of this girl in front of him. He wanted her to grow, develop, become who she wanted to be. So he pushed.
"If Ren were to become intimate with a lover, even get married and so on, you'll give him your blessing with a smile, won't you?" It was cruel, but he knew Kyoko needed cruelty.
"...of course..." Though she hesitated, the determined look in her eyes didn't falter. "Upon my pride as an actor, I will give him my blessing with the greatest of smiles."
He blinked. He expected her to try to give such an answer. But he didn't expect it to be so strong. He'd expected her to be transparent. For her lip to tremble even as she tried to hold her determined look. For her eyes to shine with tears. For her to eventually break down and give in. He got none of this.
"...Why?" he asked, incredulously.
"I am not good for him. He is not good for me."
Lory was used to understanding things. But understanding Kyoko was proving difficult. Nothing was going as planned. Maybe he was not as wise as he thought he was. He could do nothing but ask.
"What makes you think that?"
"Love has made me a fool in the past," her voice was a whisper by the end. "But to think it would make me an inhuman wretch..."
" 'Turning into a fool' is something I quite understand... But an 'inhuman wretch'... Where does that come from?"
She couldn't look him in the eye anymore. "He said... at this time he can't have someone important... he had... such a brooding look, as if he was thinking he's not entitled to happiness for himself."
The tears he had expected long before were flooding her eyes but refused to fall.
"And I thought," she swallowed hard before continuing. " 'It's fine... It's still fine. Tsuruga-san won't become somebody else's.' "
She met his gaze again then, shame coloring her features. "To love someone so much that you'd be so selfish as to want to deny that person happiness. To be so selfish as to rejoice in the knowledge that he refuses happiness for himself. It's ugly. It's horrible. It's inhumane."
Her skirt crumpled in her fists. Her jaw locked as she continued.
"And he is... dangerous... to me. When mother left, my heart broke. And I used love as a crutch, as a kickstarter. I remade myself to revolve around this one person. I gave myself purpose by becoming a caretaker. I patched the pieces up. But then, it turned out that person wasn't real. And my heart was ready to call it quits. So I remade myself again. And this time, I used hate. My new purpose: revenge. It brought me here." She punctuated the end of her statement by gesturing to the room around her.
Sebastian appeared next to her and she gratefully took the tissues he offered. The tears were finally running down her face.
She cleared her throat and continued. "He makes me want. He makes me love. And giving in puts me at risk again. I've remade myself twice. I picked up the pieces of my broken heart twice. And I've finally, finally begun to like myself. If I give in and things go wrong, I won't be able to remake myself a third time. I will break. There won't be anything left of me."
Lory could only stare at her as tears made their way down his own face.
"I've given up on the idea of happiness, President," she stated, standing up. "I'm betting all my cards on surviving. On contentment. And that's okay."
She looked down at his distraught face and felt sorry. He just wanted her to be happy. She smiled ruefully at him and made her way to the door. As she opened it, she paused. She did not want to leave him there like that. She did not have much hope but she felt like he deserved some. So she looked at him over her shoulder and left him with the only comfort she could.
"I have decided happiness isn't possible for me, President. But if there is anything I've learned is that he makes me want some. It's not a lot, but I hope it makes you feel better."
A/N: Alright, starting on a serious note here. At least it ended on a somewhat hopeful note. But I plan on getting those great moments of comedy that I have loved Skip Beat! for. Don't worry. I plan on getting them together in the end. I just felt like Kyoko would have reacted like this.