Presidents for the mentally handicapped
Act I
It was a warm Summer night, the kind of night that made you want to lick the rain off your skin, or cuddle up besides the fire with a loved one. At the Christie household, Chris Christie was throwing a birthday bash. He dressed up in his best hoodie and sweatpants, and even hung up some special Huniepop momo posters, so he could get his little boys excited.
Ah, 6:30, the perfect time of day, an hour before bedtime and half an hour after second dinner. He heard a knock at the door, and he got nervous and sweaty. The sweat dripped down into his folds, and stank up the room, so he put some stock CVS brand deodorant on his massive flops.
All of a sudden, Ted Cruz came in, and his taint was already sweating, forming a massive soggy juicy wet stain on his gray jeans. Chris licked his lips, letting some of his yummy wet saliva drip down all of his six chins.
"Well hey there big boy, like what you see?" said Ted, seductively.
Ted knew what Chris was looking at, and stuck his taint out further towards Chris, letting some of Chris's scrumptious spit fall onto Ted's dank taint, making his sweatpants even soggier. As a reward, Ted poked Chris's DDs, letting them jiggle and resonate around, bouncing up and down for a solid 15 seconds.
Then, Chris's best friend, Jeb Bush came in. Jeb was wearing a hot black leather suit, with nipple clamps and a spiked belt that showed off his massive bulge. His receding hairline looked really hot in the summer evening, and his depressing, boring drawl was replaced by an Indian accent, full of confidence, that really made the ladies wet, as well as the boys.
"Well hey there, pardner." said Jeb, spanking himself.
Chris and Ted immediately became hard as diamonds, their bulges glistening in the flashes from Chris's television program, Thomas the Tank Engine.
Then, ya boy, Donald J. Trump came in the room, his smelly ass suit covered in stank from not taking a shower for multiple months, and also from being Donald Trump.
"Wow Donald, you smell and look terrible, as always." Said Jeb, teasing the young boy by pulling up his leather suit and showing off his rock hard abs.
Donald looked Jeb clear in the eyes, his disgusting drab ass blonde wig clinging to his pale ass clammy green skin, dripping with delicious juicy smegma.
"Wow, how about you go clean up your campaign you redneck vagina." Said Trump cradling his bouncy balls tenderly.
Then Jeb spanked himself again.
However, their filthy presidential debate was quickly interrupted when Thomas came down the railway and Percy crashed into him and Gordon hit the trains too. All four boys immediately creamed their pants without hesitation, the sweet and salty cum dripping down their pants, onto Chris's hardwood floor.
But that wasn't the only hardwood in the room, because at that moment Hillary and Banana came in, feeling each other up.
"Hey little boys, what's up?" Hillary asked, putting a hand to her abnormally lumpy forehead.
Banana replied, "If I tell you, you have to sit on it."
In that moment, Hillary felt her pink little penis grow hard and erect, just like a coconut, or even a banana.
However, on the other side of the room, things were not going to tenderly. Chris and Ted were having an argument.
"Well. I'm better at bowling than you are, you- you weirdo." Said Ted, thinking he was roasting Chris.
"No, I'm better than bowling than you, you Jesus obsessed Zodiac killer." Retorted Chris, sticking his 600ibs out as if he was a rooster, or a cock. Mmm, cock ;)
"Oh yeah, well, you're- you're-, you're gay! Ha!" Said Ted, his taint squirting out gallons of disgusting juice all over the semen on the floor, just like a clam.
Chris got really offended, so he started crying and went to go tell on him to his dad. "Later losers." He said before waddling out of the room, causing small seismic disturbances as he left to go tattle to his father.
When Chris got out of his living room, he saw a horse roaming around outside, it's massive brown dick flopping in the wind. Chris remembered when he got kicked in the face so he ran away as fast as he could, jiggling all the way back.
When Chris got back, he saw Donald bite into a cupcake, the pink cream dripping down his disgusting freakish lips. Chris was going to waddle over, but he tripped over Jeb, who was trying to lick up the cum off the hardwood floor, spanking himself as he did it.
Chris hit the ground and caused an earthquake, the ground rumbling under the fucking 3000ib gargantuan megaton.
"C-Chris, are you alright?" Asked Trump, bugs and other weird shit falling from his hair as he bent over to check on him.
As Donald bent over, Banana seized his chance and shoved himself entirely up Donald's vagina. As he did this, Hillary got jealous, and pulled Banana out of Trump's smelly crabby snatch and took him to the closet Chris hides in when Bill Clinton rejects him.