Disclaimer-I do not own Glee...never have, never will *sadface*

You are my Lighthouse

by-andthenIfound5dollars

warning-Spoilers and background scenes from "Goodbye"-warning

A/N: So yay!Here it is:) I wouldn't really call this a continuation of "Promise", because I believe this can stand on its own. This fic starts after the Graduation ceremony. I hope you like it!

"We regret to inform you…"

The words burned on Kurt's eyes. He felt like it was someone else saying "I didn't get in." Even more distant was hearing it come from his mouth a second time.

He was only vaguely aware of Finn's arm around his shoulder. He knew he needed to acknowledge his step-brother, be he felt as if his head was full of sand as he turned to look at Finn, and then suddenly Rachel turned around.

"It'll be okay" Kurt thought as he searched Rachel's face "We will all figure this out together…we can do this all together."

"I got in." was all she said, and Kurt felt like he was going to black out. It took every ounce of strength in his body to muster a small smile for Rachel as he felt his fingernails digging into the palm of his hand and heard the paper he was holding crinkle.

"BLAINE!" his brain screamed at him. "You need to find Blaine!"

Rachel looked like she wanted to say something, but Kurt didn't think he would be able to hear it. He mumbled something incoherently and walked toward the door. He heard his best friend say his name and again mustered everything in him to turn and give her a small smile and squeak out "congratulations".

Just the word felt like bile in his mouth. There was no way he would be able to do that again. He couldn't pull anything else up to pretend he was okay. He needed to find the one person he didn't have to pretend with.

As Kurt walked down the hallway, his vision began to blur slightly. Not much, just like the lockers were blurring together. Instinctively, he reached up to wipe his eyes, but there was no wetness on his fingers when he took his hand away.

Kurt rounded the corner and into a big crowd of people. His eyes searched until they found Blaine, a big goofy smile on his face, and Kurt stopped dead in his tracks.

Blaine was standing with Mike, Tina, and Artie…all four of them laughing as Tina punched Blaine lightly on the shoulder.

Kurt started at his boyfriend as Blaine laughed and rubbed his arm good-naturedly. Kurt reached out to hold onto the locker next to him and took a few deep breaths.

He couldn't do it. He couldn't be the one to wipe that smile off the face of the man he loved. It had been so long since Kurt had seen Blaine smile so wholeheartedly. Winning Nationals had given Blaine the "how awesome are we!" proud smile…and the smile he gave Kurt earlier that day from the audience during graduation, had been genuine and full of love and pride.

But this, this was the smile Kurt had fallen in love with from the moment he had seen it. That pure, carefree, goofball, "aren't I the cutest thing in the world" smile. This smile was the reason Kurt…listened to horrible music…agreed to watch that vampire movie that caused him to have nightmares for two weeks…put up with Blaine's pirate themed jokes for almost a month before Kurt begged him to stop.

Just as Kurt had decided to back up and let Blaine be happy for a while longer, Blaine, laughing still, caught his eye and waved.

God Kurt wanted to smile back at him; he wanted reassure Blaine everything was fine so badly his heart actually hurt a little…but he just couldn't do it.

XXXX

"Face it Anderson," Tina began, playfully punching Blaine on the shoulder. "Next year, our Friday nights are going to be you and me. We will be pigging out on ice cream and watching sappy Rom-Com's on my couch, bawling so hard over our boyfriends that we need IV fluids to rehydrate."

Blaine laughed but countered with, "No way Tina. Next year, you, Artie, and I are going to rule the Glee club. We will be too busy winning another National Trophy to even think about our knuckle-headed boyfriends!"

Mike gave Tina a pouty look as Artie raised his eyebrow at Blaine and said.

"Okay Blaine, whatever you have to tell yourself to get through the day." Blaine threw his head back and laughed as Artie continued with, "Save me some ice-cream. I'll be there to pick up the muddled pieces of the two of you."

Blaine winked at Artie as he looked up and caught a glimpse of Kurt at the end of the hall. Blaine flashed his best smile to the man he loved and lifted his hand to wave.

The past few moths had been harder than Blaine ever could have imagined. Knowing Kurt was leaving and would be hundreds of miles away had hurt like a knife constantly being pushed further and further into his chest.

It was the small things he knew he would miss more than anything. The way their hands looked with their fingers intertwined. The impromptu naps they shared on lazy Sunday afternoons. Curled up on Kurt's family room couch, laughing at each other when they were both supposed to studying. The way Kurt would lay his hand gently on the inside of his thigh when Blaine was driving. The big stuff was easier to remember and hold onto…it was the small everyday things that he took for granted, the small things he knew he would miss the most when they were gone.

In his heart, Blaine knew they would be okay. He never thought he would be the person who found the love of his life at seventeen, but here they were. He couldn't imagine his life without Kurt in it, and he would do anything to keep what they had. Including long-distance for a year until they could be together again. He knew there would be people who doubted them, who didn't believe their love could conquer all. But Blaine found a comfort in others disbelief in them, they could and would prove all of them wrong…and they would do it together.

Looking down the hall, Blaine knew something wasn't right. Kurt didn't return his wave. In fact, as he leaned against the wall, he looked like he was having trouble standing upright.

Horrible thoughts started running through his head as Blaine pushed through the crowd. The closer to his boyfriend he became, the more nervous he felt. Kurt's face was pale…well paler than usual. His eyes were wide and looked almost scared. He looked like he was standing by sheer will.

"Kurt!" Blaine called breathlessly as he neared him. Annoyed, he pushed a girl he didn't recognize out of his way without saying "excuse me" like his mother had always taught him to do.

Kurt dropped his head and fell back against the locker he had been leaning on.

"Baby, what's wrong? What happened?" Blaine reached his boyfriend, grabbing him by the shoulders only to feel Kurt trembling. "Please Kurt, talk to me…tell me what's wrong."

Kurt didn't say anything; he hesitated then brought his eyes up to meet Blaine's, before holding out the crumpled paper in his hand.

Blaine looked down and in one instant knew what the paper was…NYADA. But wait. He thought as his head snapped up in confusion. This isn't right, what is going on? Kurt should be excited and thrilled...NO! No way!

As the realization dawned across Blaine's face, Kurt's breathing became labored and erratic. Kurt lowed his head back down as Blaine tightened his hold on Kurt's shoulders.

"Kurt, I'm so…I'm so sorry."

"I…I just…I can't" Kurt stumbled trying desperately to take deep breaths, but failing, causing him to make strangled choking sounds as his face became paler by the second.

"Okay, calm down. Kurt, you need to breathe okay?"

Blaine started to get scared. The more Kurt struggled to calm down, the more labored his breathing became. He could tell Kurt was on the brink of breaking down and Blaine had had enough experience in panic attacks to know what they looked like.

"Come on." Blaine pulled on Kurt's arm, leading him into an empty classroom. "In here and sit down.

Blaine pulled two chairs out from under a desk and pushed Kurt down into one. He pried the letter from Kurt's hand and laid the crumpled piece of paper on the desk before positioning both chairs to face each other.

As he sat down, he pulled down on the back of Kurt's neck,

"Head between your legs and breath, okay?" he said softly.

Kurt obeyed, grabbing Blaine's knee and holding on as tight as he could. Blaine took one of Kurt's hands in his, and ran his other hand up and down Kurt's spine and gently squeezed his neck while talking softly to him.

"Just breathe baby, in and out." Miming the breathing patterns he wanted Kurt to follow. "Don't think about anything else, just my voice and your breathing."

After a few scary moments, Blaine looked up to see Tina standing in the doorway. She looked from Kurt, to the paper lying on the table, and finally back to Blaine.

Blaine shook his head slightly as he continued rubbing Kurt's back and neck. Tina closed her eyes and sighed before softly pulling the door shut to give her friends a little privacy.

The boys sat together until Kurt's breathing started to even out and his grip on Blaine's knee and hand lessened. Slowly, Kurt began to straighten his back and sit up. Blaine ran his hand over Kurt's neck, shoulder and arm, squeezing gently as Kurt's eyes meet his own.

"There he is." Blaine said softly. "There's the man I love." He cupped Kurt's face and smiled slightly as Kurt huffed in response.

Blaine took Kurt's other hand and intertwined their fingers, waiting for Kurt to say something.

"I didn't get in."

"Kurt," Blaine began but Kurt interrupted him.

"Finn didn't either…but Rachel." Kurt paused and bit his lip. He kept waiting for the waterfall of tears to escape from his eyes…but nothing was coming. He looked back at Blaine and finally said the words out loud.

"Rachel did. Rachel got in."

A/N: I know right. More to come, soon I hope:)