Title: The True Face of Love
Author: MarieC
Feedback: Please... M
Pairing: A/S
Spoilers: ATS Season 5; very general time-line post-Destiny then very AU
Disclaimers: I do not own these characters.
Spike still absently touched his chest on occasion since he had recorporialized a few weeks prior. He had to prove to himself that he was really whole again. He had spent his first night partying with Charlie Boy, who had graciously accepted his invitation to celebrate with him. The two had developed a budding friendship. Spike was happy he had been able to finally give Fred the hug she deserved for never giving up on him. Despite the constant jabs at his fellow Englishman, Spike and Wesley were developing a certain rapport with each other as well. Lorne and Spike? The two easily bonded over music and Hollywood gossip. For the first time, Spike felt like he could belong somewhere; like he was really part of a team.
Despite this, his heart was often heavy. After his victory over Angel, the dark vampire had kept his distance from his Grandchilde. Spike hoped that the two souled vampires could start anew. Unfortunately, years of rivalry and jealousy tarnished any possibility of this. Spike was willing to try; but every signal Angel emitted showed his disdain for the blond vampire. The two simply fell into old patterns as they attempted to work together.
A Monday Morning: Wolfram and Hart Offices
"What are you doing in my office, Spike?" Angel roared at Spike as he flew into his office obviously in a bad mood. Spike jumped up from the couch; he wanted to cover the fact that he had slept there during the weekend.
"Nothing, you stupid ponce. Just annoying you as usual." Spike smirked. "So, what's on the agenda today for the corporate puppet? Planning any audits? Trying to figure out what Mutual Fund works best for you?" He chuckled to himself when he saw the grimace on Angel's face.
"Why do you care, Spike?" Angel glared back. "In fact, why are you even here? You've got your body back. Why don't you get the hell out of here?"
For a moment Spike's grin fell from his face as his eyes widened with anger at Angel's words. Before he had a chance to respond, Wesley walked in.
"Good morning, Angel." The Ex-Watcher nodded at Spike as well. "I'm afraid there is a problem. It seems that some runaway teens are disappearing in this section of Los Angeles." He pointed to a small grid on a map he placed on Angel's desk. "No bodies are surfacing."
Spike walked closer to Angel and Wesley. "Vampires? The blond asked as he placed his hands on his hips.
"Perhaps." Wesley replied. "I do believe we should investigate."
"I agree, Wes." Angel said as he sat down.
"Good." He added. "You and Spike could look into this tonight as I continue to search for other clues to the whereabouts of these children." Wesley said as he walked towards the door.
Angel stood and scowled as he saw Spike smirk. "I guess it's you and me again, Pops. 'S like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid...Donny and Marie...BJ and the B..."
"Whatever, Spike. Get out of my office. Be back at sundown." Angel grabbed hold of Spike and led him to the door. He shoved the smaller vampire out and slammed the door behind him.
"Hey!" Spike yelled to the retreating figure behind the glass. "Stupid, fuckin' pillock!" Spike straightened his collar. He sighed as he bowed his head for a moment and then went toward the lab to visit Fred.
At sundown, Spike sauntered into Angel's office. He found his Grandsire watching his big screen TV.
Without taking his eyes off of the hockey game, Angel said, "You're late."
"I was in accounting playing poker." Spike responded as he fished a cigarette from his duster and lit it.
"Whatever, let's get going. I have things to do." The dark vampire scowled at Spike as he placed his coat on and headed for the elevator.
The two walked silently down to the garage and Spike followed as Angel walked towards the Viper. "So predictable." Spike chuckled as he mumbled. Angel chose to ignore the comment as he turned the key and the engine roared to life.
As the two rode to their destination in an uncomfortable silence, Spike slowly turned his head slightly towards Angel. After all these years, Spike still had to admit to himself how attractive his Grandsire truly was. He resembled a Greek god, so strong and regal appearing.
Spike's thoughts drifted to the twenty years he spent with his family prior to Angelus' curse. The blond vampire worshiped Angelus. He was truly his mentor; his Yoda. Drusilla turned him; but Spike secretly looked upon the dark vampire as his true Sire. Everything Spike did was in an attempt to impress Angelus. He changed from William to the Spike persona in order to gain attention. And it worked. Angelus doted on the blue eyed boy with a penchant for hurting people by driving railroad spikes through his victims' heads. Spike reveled in the attention paid to him. The two hunted together, tortured together, and bedded their women together. During this time, Spike harbored deeper feelings for Angelus. The blond vampire yearned to be touched as Angelus touched Darla or Drusilla. Spike kept his feelings a secret. His desires were clearly not reciprocated as Angelus became more cruel throughout the years. Spike would purposefully incite Angelus' rage to receive any sort of attention: positive or negative.
Spike closed his eyes as he shuddered at the realization of how twisted his actions were. After his resurrection, the thought of starting over in LA was not too appealing. But, he was tied to the city of Angels. Perhaps he and Angel could forge a new friendship now that they were the only two vampires with souls in existence. History, though, tends to repeat itself. The past always comes into play. They each continued to harbor their resentments against the other: Sunnydale, Buffy, and the Gem of Amarra to name a few. So, they bickered and verbally sparred until it all came to the forefront in the fight over the Cup of Perpetual Torment. Hateful, hurtful words were exchanged during the Battle that saw Spike as the victor. Spike was possessed with the need to show Angel that he mattered. That is why he fought so hard. He wanted to earn Angels' respect. He convinced himself that was all he wanted from Angel.
The dark vampire felt Spike's stare as he navigated down the streets. He turned to him. "What?" Angel asked in the annoyed voice that was reserved only for Spike.
"Um. Nothing." Spike eyes dropped to his lap as he slowly turned away.
Angel, for a moment, wanted to ask Spike what was wrong. He had noticed such sadness in Spike's eyes. Something held Angel back. There were times that he wanted to stop the fighting between the two; but he did not know how. No one in his life or unlife had ever been able to affect him like his Grandchilde. This fact had always upset the dark vampire.
As Angelus, he found it disconcerting that he cared for the blue eyed former poet. William was the perfect companion to fight and hunt with. Angelus wanted to further his relationship with Spike, but he had never been with another man before. Despite the fact that they were soulless demons, they adhered to some of the supposed morals of the Victorian times. And more importantly, he did not dare incur the wrath of Darla. Many a night, Darla beat Angelus for spending too much time with the blond vampire. Darla detested the attention her Childe paid to 'Drusilla's pathetic poet fledge'. Her constant berating led Angelus to unleash his frustrations upon Spike. Emotions and caring portrayed weakness to Angelus. And he would have none of it.
Angel sighed as he pulled his car off the road as they reached their destination. Each vampire padded their pockets for a weapons check as they walked towards the seemingly abandoned building.
The scent of human blood flooded their noses as soon as they stepped into the building. Angel motioned Spike to go to the left and he went in the opposite direction. Spike slowly reached into his pocket to procure a stake as he shifted into gameface. Suddenly from all directions, Angel and Spike were attacked by at least fifteen vampires. They worked in concert to easily dust the majority of the vamps. Most of them were young fledges whom did not realize they were fighting two Master vampires.
Spike roared as he dusted the last one in his area. As the dust settled on his clothing, he turned to watch Angel easily dispatch the last two near him. Suddenly, Spike noted a vampire creeping from behind a pillar sneaking up on Angel. The dark vampire was so intent on his fight that he did not realize there was a threat behind him. The Fledge raised a piece of wood that he picked up from the ground as he stalked towards Angel.
"Angel!" Spike shouted as he began running and flew in the air to land behind him. The stake meant for Angel pierced Spike's arm. "Ahh!" Spike yelled as the wood settled in his right shoulder. "You stupid ponce!" He added as he tore the piece from his appendage. Spike backhanded the vampire easily and proceeded to dust him.
Angel watched the whole display. He turned to Spike. "You okay?"
"Yeah." Spike said panting. "The git tore my fuckin' coat!"
Angel smiled. "You'll live. Come on. Let's have a quick look around and then get out of here." Spike nodded in agreement.
The two vampires returned to Wolfram and Hart thirty minutes later. Before Angel pulled into the garage, Spike's voice pierced the silence.
"Look, just let me off here." Spike said quietly as Angel rolled the car to a standstill.
"Why?" Angel asked.
"Gonna go get a drink. 'M a bit wired after that fight." Spike proceeded to open the door and step out.
"Is that all you do is drink?" Angel said with some disdain in his voice.
Spike leaned his head back down into the car. He answered bitterly. "You know me...guess some things never change, 'ey mate?" He was about to close the door when Angel spoke.
"Um, well, look Spike. Thanks for back there." Angel shifted his eyes down for a second as he looked into Spike's blue eyes. "You know...staking that vamp."
Spike raised his eyebrow for a moment. This was new territory: Angel thanking him. "Yeah, well. Didn't want to explain to your crew why their Big Boss was all dusty." Spike slammed the door shut and Angel pulled away. Spike chastised himself briefly. 'Such a big fuckin' mouth you have, Spike. Always gettin' you in trouble.' Spike shook his head and started down the street. After walking about a quarter mile, he decided to turn back and go talk to Angel.
Angel parked his Viper and glanced at his watch as walked towards the elevator. He did not know what to think of his Grandchilde. One minute they are fighting to the death over a cup; the next, Spike took a stake for him. He noticed the surprised look in Spike's azure eyes when Angel thanked him. Angel almost saw the bright innocence of William portrayed for a moment, then it was replaced immediately with classic Spike. Angel nearly asked Spike where he stayed at night but did not want to give any advantage over to the blond vampire. Spike was probably right; some things just never change.
Angel removed his jacket as he sauntered into his office. He sighed as he looked at his watch again. His head turned to the door as it opened.
"Angel." The quiet voice said as the figure walked up to him and embraced him.
"Hi, Nina." Angel replied with a half smile and stiffened a bit when Nina proceeded to kiss him.
As Spike exited the elevator, he had decided to see if Angel wanted to share a drink with him. He was throwing caution to the wind. He resigned to wave a white flag and try to start and maintain a civil conversation with his Grandsire and see where it could lead. Spike smiled as he neared Angel's office but stopped as he saw two figures through the glass window. He saw Angel kissing Nina. His undead heart sank and his shoulders slumped as he witnessed the two in a lover's embrace. Spike watched briefly and then slowly turned away. As he exited the building, he felt a chill in the air. He wrapped his duster more snuggly around himself and walked into the night.
Angel gently grasped Nina's shoulders and drew her away from him. She grinned brightly as she looked into Angel's eyes.
"I know I'm early, but I couldn't wait to see you." Nina said as Angel smiled. "Did you have a big fight?" She asked as she gestured towards his facial bruising.
"No bigger than usual." Angel answered as he walked to his desk and began to straighten his papers. "Sorry, I didn't have a chance to finish up."
"No problem." Nina replied happily. "I can wait." Clearly in this position before, Nina proceeded to grab Angel's remote and turned on the TV as she sat on the plush maroon couch.
Angel silently worked for twenty more minutes and attempted to ignore the occasional glance Nina threw his way.
"Come on, baby." Nina whined. "Can't you take care of that stuff in the morning? I don't want to be late to the concert."
Angel looked up briefly. "Maybe you should take your sister."
Nina's eyes narrowed. "What's going on, Angel? You've been acting weird for weeks. I didn't want to say anything. I thought that you were just overworked."
"I am overworked, Nina." He stood as she approached his desk.
"Look, are you having second thoughts...about us?" She asked as her eyes watered. "Is there someone else?"
"No, gods, no, Nina. There isn't anyone else." He decided he needed to be truthful with her. "Look, my life is really complicated right now." He hesitated. "I don't want to hurt you, Nina. But, I don't have time to be in a relationship right now...It's not you."
"So, that's it?" She raised her voice. "You've decided." Angel nodded his head. "When were you planning on telling me?"
"Tonight." There was sadness in Angel's eyes. He did not want to hurt her.
"Great. Just great." Nina shook her head and chuckled bitterly. "Fine, I'll leave." She grabbed her coat and purse and went towards the door.
"Nina, I'm sorry." Angel looked at her. "Please, if you want to still come monthly during your change, the facility is still available to you."
Nina turned to face him. In her heart, she knew the two did not have a future. Even when they were together, he seemed so far away. She half smiled. "Thanks." She paused. "See you around." She waited until the elevator doors closed for the tears to fall.
"Won't be needin' a glass, mate. I'll pay for the whole bloody bottle." Spike yelled to the bartender through the smoke over the loud music. The blond vampire stopped at the first bar he had passed after leaving Wolfram and Hart. He threw the money on the bar and walked over to a booth in the corner. Spike stared at the bottle of Jack as he plopped down. "Well, ol' friend. How've you been?" He took his first swig and reveled in the burn as the drink slid down his throat. It felt so good just to feel again.
Spike spent the next hour partaking in three whole bottles. He was truly drunk. "Stupid ponce with his perfect gelled hair." He said as his speech slurred. He wanted to continue drinking so he could forget Angel. Yet, there did not seem to be enough alcohol to dull the ache in his chest. His eyes fluttered as he attempted to stay awake. His head bobbed up and down as he tried to focus on where he was. Suddenly he heard something.
"Well, well, William. Fancy running into you here."
Spike's head jerked toward the voice and his eyes squinted and then widened when he saw who was standing beside him.
"Heard you died." Spike sputtered out.
"I did. But, I guess it didn't last." The voice chuckled.
"Bugger off...don't need no company." Spike raised the bottle to his mouth and took another drink.
"You look like you need someone to talk to."
"Get away from me, you stupid bint."
"Is that anyway to talk to an old friend, William?"
Spike smirked. "Oh, we're old friends now? Funny, didn't get the memo, Cecily."
"Now, William. You know the name's Halfrek."
TBC...