We all remember the scene where Will gets the key to Sonny's apartment and most of us probably also know the scene where he gives it back. But luckily they make up on Valentine's Day. This story is set a few weeks after that happy day…
Sonny's POV
They key in my hand feels like it weighs a ton, and with a sigh I put it back in the little black box with the silver ribbon. A few months ago I thought this 'best man's gift' would make my world even more perfect than I already thought it was. But instead it was the beginning of a terrible break-up, that lasted way too long. I remind myself everything is OK now and smile when I look next to me where Will is sleeping soundly. The moonlight that creeps into our room around our curtains finds the shimmering key and with a deep breath I close the lid and tie the ribbon around it. I push the box in the drawer of my bedside table, and slide down under the covers. As I don't want to wake Will I stay on my side of the bed, but with an incomprehensible murmur he pulls me towards him. He only settles down again once we are curled up together, his head on my shoulder and our legs entangled under the covers. His breathing evens out again and my thoughts return to the key in my drawer, and while my fingers find their place in his hair, I try to make a decision. Should I give it to him again, or does it just bring bad luck. And if I give it, should I give it as a present or just casually, as if I am not really paying it any attention at all. He mumbles something again and almost automatically I try to sooth him back to sleep by planting a kiss in his hair and by slowly stroking his arm that is curled around my waist. I let my fingers drag over the length of his arm and with an ache in my heart I remember the moment he came over to return the key.
The moment I see him standing at the counter I wish I could just take this awkwardness away. I bite my lip and can almost feel his insecurity when he asks if he can speak to me a moment. I nod and ask Lauren to cover the counter while I get both of us a cup of coffee. I realise I make him an Americano without even asking, as I just know this is what he wants. He is so close to me, close enough to just reach out and touch him as I used to do. Close enough to smell his aftershave that I choose for him one afternoon we went shopping together. Close enough to just lean over and catch his lips with mine in our usual soft and tender kiss. But awkwardness is standing between us like a glass wall, so I just sit down opposite him and lay my arms on the table:
"What's up?"
He takes a deep breath while looking down on his hands.
"Uhm…"
He suddenly pushes something towards me over the table. For some reason the thing he is pushing seems heavy, as if he has difficulty giving it away.
"Here…"
I look down on a door key. My brain only slowly seems to comprehend that this is the key to my apartment and that the man I love, the man I wanted to move in with me, the man I wanted to spend my life with, is giving it back to me. This is the key I gave him at the morning of the wedding. The key that was supposed to be the start of our new beginning, but instead it is now lying on the table that seems to be a barrier between the man I love and me. I pick it up, wondering if it has always been this heavy:
"Key to my apartment…"
"Yeah… I just euh… figured… you know… I've had it long enough…"
He smiles a sad smile that I just want to wipe of his face and replace it with the happy smile he flashed me that morning when he realised I wanted him to move in with me. But instead I say:
"Will, there wasn't a time table…"
"I know, I know… but I have already move my stuff out and there is no reason for me to keep it…"
He doesn't look at me when he says that. His big blue eyes look away and suddenly I realise they seem almost too big for his face right now. I have always loved his eyes, the transparent blue that makes me slightly dizzy when I look into them for too long, but right now it hurts to see the unspoken sadness they seem to hold. And when he finally looks at me and I have to look down for a second to keep myself together. I wish I could just follow my heart, stand up and pull him into a tight hug. Then I would whisper sweet things in his ear about things being in the past and that I just want to start over. But he seems miles away as his body language is telling me that he has let me go. He is handing back this key to start his life without me, and with a dull ache in my body I realise I probably should do the same.
I pull him closer against me, even though he is already flush against my side. The moment he gave me back my key was the moment I thought it was really over between us. It was the moment I forced myself to let him go, even when that meant having a broken heart that seemed to hurt constantly.
"Sonny…?"
His voice sounds groggy and I look own to meet his sleepy gaze, and I mumble:
"I thought you were sleeping?"
He settles his head back on my chest:
"I was, but you squeezed me so tight it woke me up."
I realise my arms are locked around him in an iron grip and regretfully I let him go a bit:
"Sorry…"
"Hmmm, it's OK…"
"Go back to sleep…"
"Why are you awake?"
"No reason…"
He shuffles until his head is next to mine on my pillow and his hand comes up to cup my face and he turns it towards him:
"I know you well enough to know that you are only awake when there is something on your mind… what is it…?"
I smile a little smile, enjoying the touch of his fingers against my cheek. His eyes seem to caress my face and when his thumb softly traces the outlines of my bottom lip I have to remind myself to breathe. He seems to have to tear his eyes away from my lips and when he finally looks into my eyes, he asks again:
"What is it?"
I take a deep breath and for a moment I consider telling him. But when I look into his happy twinkling eyes I am too afraid to ruin the moment with something that is so heavy laden with bad memories. So, I just lean in and kiss him softly on his lips:
"I was just thinking about how happy I am… with you…"
He squints his eyes, and I know he doesn't believe that is the reason I am awake. But he eventually just pulls me in a close hug:
"Me too…"
I know he knows that I am not ready to tell him what was really on my mind, but we also both know that at some point I will tell him and for now he is happy to wait for that moment. Feeling safe in his arms I slowly drift off to sleep, smiling when I hear him whisper:
"I love you…"
(…)
I suddenly become aware of the silence, and when I look up I find Uncle Vic's eyes fixed on me. Before I say anything he asks:
"You seem miles away…"
"Sorry, Uncle Vic…"
I feel guilty and wish I could remember what we were talking about so I can restart the conversation. But I have no idea and it is eventually Uncle Vic who breaks the silence:
"What is on your mind, Sonny?"
"Nothing."
The way he looks at me tells me wordlessly that he expects me to tell him and with a deep breath I mumble:
"It's stupid… really…"
"But it seems to occupy your mind… maybe I can help…?"
I shake my head:
"I wish you could…"
"Well, perhaps I can give advice?"
He is too persistent and I am too much in need of advice, so I fill him in on my thoughts:
"I want to give Will the key to my apartment… the same one I gave him the morning of the wedding, and the same one he gave back to me after we broke up…"
I play with a coaster lying on the table and when I look up at my Uncle he raises his eyebrows:
"And this is a problem why exactly?"
For a second I am taken aback and then I respond:
"I don't want to jinx it… what if that key is just bad luck… what if we break up again…"
He shakes his head and I wait quietly for his advice:
"That key never jinxed anything… that key had nothing to do with what was going on, so there is no reason why you shouldn't give it to him. All you need to do is make sure that you feel that is what you want to do…"
I sigh and smile:
"I do…"
His smile is almost fatherly and then he raises his glass:
"To you and Will… I am very happy you two have worked it all out."
I take my glass from the table and raise it in the air:
"Not half as happy as I am…"
(…)
It is a Friday morning when I pull my jeans over my hips, immediately feeling the black box in one of the pockets. It has been there for over a week and I am still not sure how to give it to Will. He left early this morning for some classes, and I woke up late due to a late shift last night. I smile when I see his green shirt lying on the floor and I pick it up to get it in the laundry. And while I push a mix of our clothes into the washing machine, I promise myself that today I am going to give him the key. I text him:
'What time are you finished today?'
He soon replies:
'Quite late, group project, I'll call you when I'm done. Love you…'
His sweet words paint a goofy smile on my face and I am glad he cannot see me as he would definitely make fun of me. I quickly respond:
'Love you too.'
With a sigh I look around the apartment and then I decide to not just hand the key over casually, but to make a big deal out of it just as I did the first time. I feel this is important to us and I want to do this properly. First I go out to Will's great grandmother Caroline and I quickly explain my plan to her. She is all for it and agrees to make Will's favourites so I can pick them up around seven tonight. I give her a kiss and a hug and then make my way to a shop that sells candles and massage oils. During my shopping I also find a good red wine and a big bouquet of red roses, and I run past the coffee house to do some paperwork. When I arrive at home I make sure the studio apartment is all ready for a perfect evening of just us, and when I receive his text everything seems to come together just perfectly:
'Hi, I am ready in about an hour, are you home?'
'I am, see you soon.'
I grab my keys and rush to great grandmother Caroline who has the food all ready. She smiles as I thank her again and again and then says:
"I do want to hear from one of you tomorrow about how it all went."
I am happy to promise her that, and about thirty minutes later I am placing all the food on my dinner table. I rearrange the flowers, put on some romantic music, and dim the lights as much as I can. I quickly light all the candles, and then I get dressed in my blue shirt just because I know Will likes it. His knock on the door is already familiar and I smile happily when I realise that next time he can just walk in. I open the door and his smile is all I see. He walks in past me and while I close the door he looks around the small studio apartment. When our eyes meet he asks shyly:
"You did this?"
I take his coat and nod, slightly proud of myself:
"I did."
I take his hand and pull him to the table:
"Great grandma Caroline's hard work…"
His face is all kinds of soft and I cannot stop smiling when I see how moved he is by my surprise.
"What is it for…?"
I shrug and push him on one of the chairs:
"You'll see…"
He frowns, but is quickly distracted by the vegetable rolls and hamburgers:
"All my favourites."
Our dinner is nice, comfortable and romantic. His left hand is entangled with my right hand, and our legs are touching underneath the table. Every now and then one of us leans in to steel a kiss, and the sparkle in his eyes almost matches the candle flames around us. After our dinner he is suddenly the one taking control, pulling me to my bed and soon has me stretched out on my back. He climbs on top of me and I mumble happily:
"In the mood, Horton?"
He doesn't say anything but his hands dive under my shirt and he pulls it up to expose my skin. He leans down to kiss wet trails from one hipbone to the other, while his hands rest on my hips. He suddenly lifts his head and frowns:
"What is this…?"
I look down and realise his hand is covering the box in my pocket, the thing that is the main reason for this evening and I had almost forgotten about it. I cannot help but blush and I sit up while Will finds a place beside me:
"Should I be worried because you are suddenly weird…?"
"I am not weird."
"What is it?"
I pull the box out of my pocket and without looking at him I open the lid and expose the shining key. I can hear he is holding his breath and suddenly it feels as though we are sitting opposite each other at a red table, listening to the sound of a key being pushed across the table surface. He takes a deep breath and then he whispers:
"Are you sure?"
I nod and take the key out of the box. I hold it out to him:
"Please, I want you to have it…"
He takes it and when our eyes meet I see the dampness in the corner of his eyes. He takes another deep breath, letting it go slowly:
"I don't want to give it back this time…"
"I don't want it back… ever…"
He leans forward and kisses me on my lips and when he leans back I see the same happy sparkle I saw the first time I gave him this key. With a blush I mumble:
"Perhaps we should do what you wanted to do then…"
He puts the box and the key on the bedside table and pushes me on my back again. His eyes shine and seem deep dark blue:
"Let's celebrate…"
His lips are on my skin again and this time my shirt is pushed up until I take it off and throw it on the floor. His lips and tongue find my nipples and I shiver when he nibbles on them ever so softly. His fingers are fumbling with my jeans and soon they are pushed down. He is fast and very determined and it doesn't take very long until we are skin on skin. I feel how he lies half over me while burying his hands in my hair. His face is just inches away as he stares down into my eyes:
"You know… giving that key back to you was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life…"
His eyes seem to touch every little bit of my face and when he looks back into my eyes he whispers:
"Thank you for giving it to me again…"
My hands come up to touch his strong back and after a while they find their place on his waist. Suddenly I want him to know the whole story:
"I wanted to give it to you sooner, but I was afraid to jinx it…"
He smiles softly and leans down for a sweet kiss that quickly turns into something passionate. He moves his hips a bit and I moan into his mouth when I feel him grow against my thigh. When he lets go I take the opportunity to roll us over and I grab the massage oil I bought earlier today. I make some room so he can turn on his front and then I happily get to work on his back. He sighs deeply and once he is entirely relaxed under my touch I lean over until I am draped over him and with my lips touching his ear I whisper:
"Half the closet is still empty…"
I feel him smiling under me:
"Empty still or empty again?"
I kiss his neck and mumble:
"Empty still… and I can still buy one of those wardrobe things… just tell me what you want…"
He shuffles until he is lying on his back again and he can look into my eyes. I am lying half over his chest and feel how he cups my face as though it belongs to him. And with a voice deep with emotion he answers:
"This… I want this…"
Hi everyone, hereby another story I hope you will all enjoy. Let me know what you think, I truly appreciate your reviews!