Hi all, I'm not actually sure why I am writing this. But well I am, well you can see boredom resorts in my crappy writing. But oh well...

Don't own Twilight Stephanie Meyer does, but Fish is mine! Muhahaha

I'm itchy should I scratch? Neh, my feet are too far away. The door bells ringing should I get it? Neh, two metres is too far away.

I'm about to puke, should I get my bucket? Neh, it's too far away.

So I Blahhhhgurga-KILL -blurhhjdafar-ME NO-garblur-W (puking noises) all over the carpet.

Should I clean up the chunky acid tummy poop that came out of my mouth? Neh, too sleepy the dog'll will eat it, " c'mon here pukey pukey vomit eating puppy come eat my mouth poop."

The phones ringing, should I get it? Neh, I can't walk two steps to the coffee table, it'll go to that messagey thing that people record their stupid hesitant voices on when you don't answer, here it goes...

BEEP "Fish, fish – its not fish its Fenella, what a fucked up name "fish" - it's your mother calling,-no dar shitbrick- I know your there, aw your properly just upset that Wilbur- fuck Wilbur I'm sad because Oswald died! I miss my goldfish - dumped you on television on Jerry -neh, all publicity is good publicity-, I have to say dear you weren't a good girlfriend – fuck you, you stupid hag, the fifties called, they want their generationideas back, oooh take that one- Love, did you know your father and I taped it. Think about honey, when you will do anything brilliant – watch it bitch-or get on the telly. Aw dearie don't be so upset you know your father and I love you –you people make my ass twitch- Bye bye dearie."

I am so sick, I want to die.

Stupid Wilbur, stupid Jerry, I don't even like Jerry.

He basically does nothing but stand there while people shout at each other.

Turns out my 'best friend' Bianca was sleeping with Wilbur behind my back and she wanted to get it 'out' as she put it, so she let it out to the entire fricking world!

I released a disgusted sigh, and threw the pink and orange cushions (my flatmate picked out) at the television.

What did the T.V do to me you ask?

It had that creepy Twilight movie on when I lost the remote. Groan.

Stupid Edward, Stupid Bella, Stupid ummmm who are the other characters?

I can't remember, Edwin is a stalker and control freak, perhaps borderline psychopath.

Ella is like a robot without emotions installed, and what's with all the clichés?

Ohhh Bell is sooo beautiful but she doesn't know it, and all the boys at the High School are chasing her.

I was sprawled on the couch foot dangling off the top, my head off the other.

I think I was drooling, but I couldn't care less.

If I bothered to move myself I would have ran into a wall to knock myself out and forget I was watching the terrible movie.

Ok slight exaggeration on my part I must admit, but, you get where I'm coming from.

Watching the movie I snorted, Edwarldo is sparkly. Sigh, whatever happen to Bram Stroker's Dracula?

Your first impression of me is that I'm a slob and lazy, which is true – sort of .

I'm not usually like this, I am rather hung over.

You see, I went on a drinking binge after that horrible Jerry Affair, and my goldfish died.

I am quite depressed. Wilbur and I have been going out since we were in the eleventh grade ,basically for four years give or take a few months.

We go to separate but close universities in Brisbane, and before the Jerry incident, I could never imagine my life without him.

Well life sucks, maybe it wouldn't be so bad in the Cullen's world.

Any thoughts, what should happen next I wonder? If anyone has ideas please review.