A.N.#1: Faberry Drabble: (Because my life is sort-of an angsty drama right now and I really need to relieve some pressure. Also, the mere fact that I miss Faberry on-screen.) Title came from The Cab's I'll Run just because I suck at thinking of any titles to name my fics without using song lyrics. Lame-o, sorry.
PS. Set during S3 finale. Let's just say that Rachel was the one who broke up with Finn immediately after Prom-saurus (also, before being 'crowned' Queen). In my wonderful Faberry head-canon, this happened before Rachel left for New York, which would be a week earlier before Quinn leaves for New Haven. Kinda est. Faberry.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or the characters mentioned below. The usual.
Fight I Refuse to Lose
Rachel looked up from her pink, bedazzled and smaller suitcase to see Quinn biting her lip and looking at her closet with a far-away gaze.
"Quinn?"
The blonde, broken from a stupor, looked over at the brunette distractedly, "…hmm?"
Brown orbs shone with concern as she took the troubled girl's appearance, "Are you feeling well? You seem… worried."
The brunette's tone made Quinn frown a bit, "Yeah, nothing's wrong. I just…" the blonde licked her lower lip then sighed, "Never mind. It's all good, okay?"
She tried to give a reassuring smile but Rachel can see how it didn't look comforting at all.
"Hey… You know you can tell me absolutely anything right? Remember our 'honesty is the best policy' rule?" the brunette stood up from the far corner of her room to sit beside the now-pensive blonde on her bed.
Quinn took a deep breath and decided to tell the brunette what's bothering her since she knows that Rachel won't really budge.
"Can I… ask you a question? Also, will you please let me finish this first before you go rambling all over me?"
Rachel felt worried for a second before showing a slightly indignant look after the last statement. "I think I can let you take over a conversation without me butting in, Quinn."
The blonde just looked at her with a somewhat disbelieving expression before turning serious again, "Okay…" She faced the brunette and tucked her legs.
"Why did you still choose to be with me after all the things we've been through? Well, the things I've put you through specifically… Why me?"
The brunette sighed and faced Quinn as well, knowing this conversation will be taking a very serious turn. Everything about them apparently is.
Quinn, in particular.
She stared at those hazel eyes that never fail to suck her in as she tries to let the blonde understand everything she's about to say, "There's been no choice nor options for me in the first place, Quinn."
She reached for the blonde's hands and squeezed them tight as she continues to look intensely at the other girl's eyes.
"It's always been you. It'll always be you."
Quinn felt the back of her eyes sting upon hearing those words.
She squeezed back in reply and asked again, "But… why me? What did you ever see in me? I'm just… me. I'm still and will always be that scared little girl who's afraid of losing things because it seems that God made some kind of deal without acknowledging me because every time I tried to do something good for others or simply do anything, I tend to almost lose something in return. I almost lost Beth from going through that crazy punk phase... I almost lost my life, Rachel. Because of hurrying to an almost wedding that I didn't even support in the first place. I almost lost you, to Finn. I may have found my way out of this loser town and going to one of the most prestigious universities in the country but what if there is yet another price to pay for all of these? My life's so messed up and I'm just another fuck-up trying to start anew. What if this time, I will finally lose the thing that matters more than all those things that I almost lost? I don't think I can bear it if it ever happens."
She's not even aware that she's crying silently as Rachel cupped both of her cheeks, thumbs catching every new teardrop that falls within her distraught eyes.
"Quinn," the brunette said firmly, "You will not, as you put it, fuck-up this time because you know what?"
Rachel tried to catch her gaze upon the mattress and when she finally stared back at the brunette, she whispered, "What?"
"Because you finally have someone this time to help you carry on with life with all these baggage from the past. You may have felt alone back then, struggling to live another day just to see if things will eventually fall back into place, waiting for something… anything to happen to save you before you close in from yourself. You may have almost lost a lot of things you care about but don't you ever think that everything in life has a price. At the end of the day, after all those horrible and daunting things that happened… you finally got it right. You have a future to look forward to, you have a dream to pursue and you have someone to love you for everything you are. You never needed to win me, Quinn." Rachel trailed off as she took a deep, shaky breath to continue.
In this moment, with all of her fears slowly dissipating, the blonde can only see those teary, molten brown eyes looking at her with so much love that it breaks her heart.
"I think you've always had me. Gladly, I realized it sooner before committing what would have been the biggest mistake of my life by marrying my high school sweetheart. What matters now is that we're finally here, putting an end to all our 'what ifs' and just taking a chance, together."
Quinn leaned forward to connect their foreheads. Feeling Rachel's breath mingling with hers took every bit of her worries away. For now, it's just her and Rachel.
"It's always been you, too. It'll always be you for me, too."
She dragged a trembling, slow breath in as she takes everything the brunette offers her.
"I can never thank you enough."
Rachel released a soft and contented sigh. A minute passed in silence when she felt the brunette's lips brushing back at hers, whispering an answer back, "Being with you here now is more than enough for me."
Her choked sob was muffled as she pressed a kiss to Rachel. A kiss that she hoped will muster every fiber of what she's feeling for this wonderful girl in front of her.
Rachel. Her Rachel.
Her past, her present and now… her future.
A.N#2: Read and review, please!