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In Between Worlds:

Her Mess

Staring out the window, dark clouds hovered. As the leaves of nearby trees swayed violently, roars of thunder can be heard signifying an impending storm.

She had never liked such weather. It was a stark contrast to the sunny personality she was well-known for. It made people around somewhat nostalgic – gloomy, even.

And mostly, because it is in times like these that a past lingers in her mind – the only time she ever allowed such thoughts to occupy it.

Unconsciously wrapping her arms on herself, her eyes darted forward, irises somewhat clouded –reflecting the unfolding scenery. It was very dark. Everything was grey, as if any color was nowhere to be found. The room she was in was considerably dark, as well. She opted not to open any lights, or more so have forgotten to open them as the silhouette outside called out to her the soonest she entered the room. Ironically, the atmosphere appealed to her in ways she couldn't explain.

She felt numb…alone...vulnerable.

Funny, she thought. Just a while ago, she and Orihime were having a chat about the activities during the day. It had been a good two hours or so when boisterous laughter echoed across the whole house. She had never laughed as hard as she did then – so much so that her stomach hurt and her eyes teared up.

She came here, her thoughts and her mind seemingly unstable. It was as if she was a kid again – an orphan on the streets with nowhere to go. Her mind was hazy, she really had no idea what she was doing. All she knew was that she was tired of her life on the Seiretei. Tired of remembering how every soul perishes – of taking away lives and effecting judgment on other souls. Of living with memories and in fear of constant death.

Death.

Who was she kidding? Technically, she was dead, wasn't she? What is there then left to fear?

Images plagued her mind, as that one memory associated with this weather came to mind. His funeral. A funeral no soul, alive or dead, would desire to attend. She could recall it was a day similar as this. The rain was about to pour then, as empty chairs surrounded the opened pit. His tombstone lay on the side, with bland inscriptions. Not so much of any dedication, but simply a name.

Ichimaru Gin.

He did his best, didn't he? In fighting for whatever cause it was that he fought for, no matter how twisted his ways or noble his intentions may be. She could understand why no one would appear there. She knew that no matter how much she mattered to the ones she called friends in the Gotei 13, he did not matter as much, if he did at all. Even his lieutenant was nowhere to be seen. Of course, he wouldn't be here, he was gravely injured previously. Unlike her, Gin did not develop such social circles around. He much preferred to be in solitude. And he would rarely allow anyone even a glimpse of his life. Which is why she considered it an honor, sort of an inner pride, that he did with her. She believed it so – even if all of it was for an end she did not know then, she knew in her heart that when he held her hand all those years ago and looked at her, lifting her up and saving her from an impoverished life, he was sincere. That he, dare she say it, loved her. Loved her in the only way he knew how.

A thunder echoed again, as tiny droplets of rain started to pour. It was an exquisite sight, perhaps, in the eyes of someone so used to such darkness. She was not proud of her past, but she was thankful for it. Without it, she wouldn't be as strong as she was now. She wouldn't have met him.

But she was no fool. She was not a tool, and she made that clear when she drew the line of being bound to the past or her duty. The moment she drew her sword and shielded it against Gin's was the moment she made a stand.

Yes, she loved him. But she knew very well how love can be so poisonous and she would not succumb and turn a blind eye on what is righteous for its sake. Thinking about it now, her captain's virtues might have rubbed off on her.

These two have so much in common that it scares her sometimes.

She then heard a knock on the door which was left ajar.

"There you are." Came Orihime's cheery voice. She had with her a tray with two cups, and was that a platter of cookies? From where she stood, she could still see steam coming off. 'Must be tea.' She thought.

She gave the orange-haired a smile, acknowledging her presence as she walked towards her.

"I figured now is a good time to have tea, with the weather and all."

"I suppose so."

She then took hold of the plate, assisting Orihime to the dining area. Her house was cozy and she honestly felt comfortable here. There is this window right above the sink and they could hear the titter-tatter of the rain.

The ambiance was nothing short of relaxing.

Perhaps this is the reason why she was there. Orihime's home was like her own's, except more organized, of course. And the lady herself provided good company.

They sat across each other, merrily talking about the many nothings in the day. Their topics ranged from food to clothing, to even their ideal pets.

"I would have loved a cat, but my captain…" A sudden memory crossed her mind. Her captain, and that one moment when he had a sneezing fit. It was her fault after all, hiding a cat on their office and not telling him about it. Because of that, he ended up getting treated at the 4th division. How she chuckled at the memory.

Waking up from her momentary daze, she looked to see Orihime expecting her to continue.

"Your captain?"

"…yes, my captain. He never did like the idea of me owning a cat."

"Doesn't he like cats?"

"Well, no. Actually, he just doesn't like pets in general, so…"

"Hitsugaya-taicho seems a very uptight person."

"He could be at times, but, in more ways than one, it's one of the few things which make him so endearing."

"You know, I kind of like how you two work together." Orihime commented as she stood up from her seat and went over to the stove, where the kettle of tea lay.

Matsumoto stirred her cup momentarily, humming a tune to herself as she observed the tiny ripples on the liquid's surface.

"What made you say that?"

"Well, considering how opposite you two seem, you just kind of…" Staring up, a thought crossed her mind as she looked back at the seated woman, whose eyes also were on her.

"…I don't know, 'click'? If you know what I mean."

Looking back at her cup, she somewhat whispered, "We click, huh." And for some reason, she tried to remember how they ended up talking about her captain in the first place. It started with the cat though, but somehow, the thought of him affected her in ways she couldn't explain.

"But I left him…didn't I?"

Matsumoto ought to not have voiced it out, but Orihime did hear it. Letting out an audible sigh, she took the kettle by its handle and turned around.

"Enough about that. Why don't we talk about what we would do tomorrow? Seeing as how it's evening and the storm doesn't seem to let up." She smiled cheerily, as she refilled both their cups with more tea.

"Tomorrow?"

"Yes, tomorrow. I kind of figured out you'll be staying the night. You will be here tomorrow, right?"

Nodding, she gave her a smile. Matsumoto was grateful for Orihime's hospitality. She was actually thankful for the change in topic, perhaps the girl did understand what must be on her mind.

'About how difficult it was to confront the consequences of her actions.'

The least Matsumoto could do was show Orihime that everything was all right with her. She had been here for barely half a day and surely, she was confused as to her sudden appearance. She just didn't know how to start explaining herself and Orihime seemed to not force it out of her either.

"I don't know, but shopping, I guess? It's been a long while since I've been here."

"That's a good idea. You'll love the new trends now, I'm sure of it."

Both ladies continued to sip on their cups, enjoying how the warmth entered their bodies and the aroma filled their senses.

"You make such good tea." Matsumoto complimented.

"Well, there is this shop down the road where I bought the leaves from. I'll show you around that area tomorrow, too, if you want."

"I'd like that. I mean, my captain is such a sucker for tea after all. You see, drinking tea helps him lighten his mood. If I ever want any favor from him, I'd simply go and prepare him something to drink and voila!"

Suddenly conscious of what she just said, she looked back at Orihime.

"I talk about him a lot, do I?"

"Well, you practically saw him grow up. I can't blame you for that." Her companion chimed in.

"He grew up too fast though." Matsumoto then took another sip, momentarily closing her eyes.

"I can still remember when he was this little…" Lifting her arm, she raised it just inches above the table.

"…he was so adorable ever since. He kind of never really lost that charm about him. No matter the years."

Orihime could tell that though Matsumoto was looking at her, she was trapped somewhere else. Like, she was there, but she really wasn't. She had that aura about her, as if reminiscing a very fond memory.

"The years had been very kind to him, then."

"Oh yes they have been! I mean, you should see him now. He's like…almost as tall as me. Still grumpy though, but dare I say it, more manly." Talking about him this way brought a light feeling on her heart. Matsumoto then described how sharp his features were, or how his voice would often crack when barking orders at her. At one point, she could even count the number of hair he had on his chin.

It was ironic how she could still remember even the tiniest detail. It was though it happened not long ago. Everything appeared clear to her mind.

This was all familiar. Talking about her captain was something very natural for her. The darkness or coldness she felt earlier was easily replaced with something warmer. Just thinking about him calmed her. And she really did not know why.

It is in the middle of this mirth that a knock was heard. They looked at each other first, noting that Orihime was not expecting any visitors this evening. Regardless, Matsumoto offered to check on the door. Seeing as how it was her house, however, Orihime insisted and thus, proceeded to check on their visitor.

It was taking her a while though. Matsumoto could swear it had been a good ten minutes since Orihime stood up a while ago. Besides, their cups were beginning to lose heat.

Standing up from her seat, she approached the girl who remained still next to the door.

"Inoue, if you don't hurry our tea might get cold–"

Her eyes widened.

'I really should have known.'

There, standing just outside was her captain, soaking wet from the rain. He also seemed to be out of breath, a hand holding onto the doorframe as support.

His teal eyes looked straight at hers.

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End of Chapter

A/N: I honestly didn't know how this one went. Basically, this will be a two-shot (or a three-shot, depends), wherein I would focus more on the why's or what's next chapter. Thank you dear readers for the time you spent just browsing over or reading it whole, and of course, your thoughts / reviews are highly appreciated.