Rated:K
This is my first fic, so sorry I haven't written anything yet, on the slim chance that someone's actually read this. I have my first Maths GCSE in a couple of hours, and I'm too nervous to begin this story until the exam is over ... Wish me luck ....please! If I pass, it'll be a miracle... (I really do have a story to write, I swear...)
Disclaimer: I really didn't want to admit this but I am actually creator of twighlight. Stephanie Meyer is a 16 yr old girl about to take a GCSE.... Obviously I don't own wighlight, and obviously whatever I write is just a product of my own twisted imagination...but I hope you like it anyway :)
4.41pm. Exam was easy. I'm convinced that it was THIS website that de-stressed me enough to actually read the questions :)
I wrote this cos Alice is my favourite charcater and she really deserves more stories of her own...._______________________________________________________________________________________
Silence.
That was all i heard now. I could feel the weight of it, feel the weight of the darkness too that seemed to press down on me on all sides, smothering me....
I used to scream when i couldn't bear it anymore. I think some part of me hoped more than believed that someone would hear me if i cried out loud enough, and that if they heard me, they'd come to save me...
But i'd been hear long enough to understand now- i could scream, i could cry, i could beat the walls, icould do anything at all....and still nobody would come.
I'm not sure who i'd imaigined would come. The nurses? The women who worked here, whose job it was to ensure that NONE of us escaped. Ever.
My parents? They were the ones who had made the desision to send me here, and maybe i should have hated them for it. But some part of me still rememberd them as my loving mother and father, some part of me still insisted that they'd had the choice taken out of their hands, that they hadn't really wanted to send me here....
It was a fantasy, and deep down, i knew it was a fantasy. But it was a fantasy that was keeping me sane.
Remembering my family was all i could do.
I had no pictures of them, they had written me no letters, and even if they had, we were allowed to keep nothing from the outside world.
They didn't visit. I wasn't even completely sure if visitors were allowed here, and anyway, if my parents had had me institutionalized to avoid social disgrace, then surely they would not risk the shame of having someone come here, a place very few people ever had or ever would come to voluntarily...
But honestly,why would they? To be locked away, far from sight and sound, away from public eye, to never see the sun again, to hear nothing but your own voice inside your head, with nothing but the heavy darkness surrounding you, and the knowledge that some one had chosen this for you...
Who would choose it for themselves?
None of us here had chosen this. Each occupied cell symbolized a family. A family that had given up, a family who, for whatever reason had made the choice to leave their son, their daughter, their mother, husband, sister or brother in this windowless, airless, lighless prison.
That was what it was- a prison. And we were the prisoners, held here with not just locks and bars and heavy doors but with ther knowledge that ebven if we did leave someday,we had nothing to go back to.
Only the streets, the gutter, and a family that was no longer a family, a family that didn't want us and had long since attempted to sever the emotional ties that held us together, and would sever the blood ties in a second if they could.
I had no family left.
I think it was because of this that on the rare nights i was able to sleep, my visions would return.
Or perhaps they were only dreams, i don't know. But still i was greatful for them.
They were always the same, a series of quick images flitting through my mind like a film reel.... Figures, blurry at first, then becoming clearer and clearer...
A man, with wise, kindly eyes....a woman with curling auburn hair....an intense looking boy of my age with ruffled light brown hair,and another with thick muscles and a wide teasing smile, an impossibly beautiful blond girl....and another boy, also with blond hair, who looked at me with a silent adoration that left me breathless just dreaming it....
i heard names, faintly....Carlisle, Esme....mother, father.... emmet, rosalie, edward....brothers, sister....jasper.....my soulmate, my love
And i saw myself too, changed but still somehow the same- the same big eyes, the same black hair, now cut short and spikey, the same pale skin... the same pale skin THEY had.
I faded into the picture alongside these elusive people that i somehow seemed to know, and when they looked at me, they seemed to know me too. I looked like them in minor ways- i had the same ivory skin, the same bruiselike shadows beneath my eyes.
And in the images that followed, always fading too quickly, i was one of them...such insignificant every-day moments that would mean so little anywhere else, i remembered them in every detail....
i was in a classroom, at a desk, strangely like the one i had left behind me in what i thought of as my other life, and i caught the eye of the golden haired boy and he mouthed "i love you..."
the auburn haired woman was hugging me more warmly than my own mother had ever hugged me....
i was in a huge white room with sunlight spilling in from all sides, all of us together, and i could hear myself laughing at something rosalie was saying.....i never thought i'd laugh again
we were playing baseball in a remote clearing, thunder crashing all around, and somehow the sound was something comforting rather than something scary....
a brown haired girl linked her arm with mine and pulled me outside the house into the sun, we were laughing and talking, we were close...despite the sense that told me she was somehow different to me....
jasper cupped my face with his hands and our lips met and i closed my eyes and forgot the world....
and then i woke up.
to the endless blackness, the silence.
my life.
i felt tears streaming down my cheeks. i was crying for what i'd left behind. i was crying for what i'd never have again.
the longing i felt for what i'd seen was so strong it was like a physical ache, like i was being torn apart inside....
this- my dark cell, the silence, the despair- that was my life now, and in the day,i was trapped.
but when i dreamt, i was free. i laughed loud, i kissed slow....and i lived.