Joker was at the Citadel's Casino, he was standing by the bar counter drinking alone. He wanted some space, and a little private, me-time away from EDI. Whom at that point, was just about the only individual on the Normandy still talking to him.
It was comforting to still have at least one person left in his life that didn't think he was a complete douchebag. But spending every waking hour with just the one person was becoming a bit much for him, and there were times when her constant blabbing was starting to sound like just background white noise.
He needed a break, and more importantly; a drink. Or two, or twenty...
After the Purgatory episode between him and Shepard turning sour, the rumor of what happened must had spread around the ship; resulting in one by one of the crew eventually siding with Shepard.
Their reasons? He didn't know for sure, he could only speculate. Maybe it was tied to loyalty to their Commander, or a friendship with her that run much deeper than a friendship with him, or perhaps they just never liked him, and this was the perfect excuse to stop pretending they did. Even Karin had started to treat him differently.
He could tell that she was doing her best to conceal the sad reality that their sense of closeness, wasn't the same anymore. She was still the respectful person she always was, and she never brought up the subject with him, not even indirectly. She was too considerate to meddle in his affairs. But he was tempted in more than one occasion to ask for her advice.
He was well aware of what a wise woman Karin was, and that he'll get the best advice he could possibly ask for, but it was precisely because of that, that a part of him was afraid to hear her truthful opinion.
In all fairness, her newly adopted distance towards him told him all he needed to know about what her stance really was.
He just couldn't believe that the friendship, him and Shepard, forged over the years went up in smoke in just two very dumb moves made by him.
After the Purgatory episode, he thought the whole thing would blow over if he gave her enough time to come around. Even though in all honesty; his first reaction to her not talking to him, was to feel angry at her immaturity.
It later became obvious that some of that anger still lingered, and it was what triggered his argument with her at the cockpit after the failed Thessia mission.
The one and only time she finally showed up, and talked to him, and he just couldn't even manage to keep his temper in check.
He closed his eyes and shook his head. He pushed his empty glass at the barman, and without even looking at him he said;
"Fill it up, and keep them coming."
His mind drifted back to their last argument, when he called her a robot, of all things. The very word he was extremely cautious to never, ever use and he employed it to shame her;
'Yeah, that was real smart' he thought bitterly to himself; 'Insulting her, while at the same time apologizing to EDI, is something that I'm sure she really appreciated.'
He remembered all the words vividly, specially the things he had the nerve to say to her.
He even tried to weasel in some brownie points by letting her know that he was watching out for her. At the time, he thought that would indisputably prove how much he 'cared'.
For all his craftiness, and cunning at pulling at her strings, he certainly wasn't expecting her to bite back and throw it all at his face; 'When I want a damned pep-talk, I'll ask for one. Otherwise, you're my pilot, not my therapist. Understood Lieutenant?' he remembered her say.
He relived the scene in his head; after saying her piece and making a point of underscoring the word Lieutenant, she just stormed out without even waiting for him to reply;
'Might as well, I was about to twist that knife by answering: yes Commander! Because I can't live with myself unless I'm making things even worse.' he thought covering his eyes with one hand.
That was it. The final nail on that mother, and whatever it was left of the bridge, gone for good. He knew it, but a small part of him still held onto a thread of hope.
Like the time when he received an invitation from her to a get together at the new apartment, Anderson gave her.
He thought at first, that was her version of extending an olive branch to him, but then he re-read it;
- I'm forwarding invitations to all the crew and the people I consider special in my life; to a party I'll be hosting at my new apartment
As a member of the crew, you're welcome to attend.
Commander Shepard -
With a heavy heart he decided not to go. That was when he understood he wasn't in the 'special' category for her anymore. Just crew. The worst part was that he couldn't even complain about his 'demotion'. He brought it all on himself once he mentioned; 'Chain of Command' and 'uniforms'.
There was no come back to that one. No matter how many times he tried to convince himself that she misunderstood him, the truth was that he pushed her away. He placed their relationship in the professional, at arms-length section and if anything, she was just respecting his wishes by keeping her distance and giving him space.
The 'not talking to him' part... maybe was just the method she adopted to help herself deal with how he treated her after all they went through, and after all the things she's done for him.
It wasn't until then, when he was alone with his thoughts, drinking at the bar that he finally started to see things from her perspective. Because previously, he just stubbornly stuck with his notion that she was being nothing but childish and unreasonable.
He stared at his glass and the liquid inside it; 'Yeah, but it's all too late now, isn't it?' he thought somberly as a knot started to form in his throat, and the sting of pain made its way to his chest. Luckily for him the alcohol was effectively numbing most of it.
Then, out of the corner of his eye he thought he recognized a familiar face.
It was her walking in the bar.
His face lighted up.
Maybe the universe did care after all, and was giving him one last opportunity to fix things, to man up, to make it up to her. In that one second, his eyes started to mist up as he thought of braking down in front of her, and apologize unreservedly. Even if he wasn't sure what it was that he'd be apologizing for. He just wanted to go back to be 'special' to her again and for the pain to go away.
She didn't see him until she was maybe about seven to ten feet away from him.
Their eyes met.
He smiled and did an informal salute to her which he immediately regretted; 'Yup, that's gonna go down well... couldn't you just waved at her you fucking moron!'.
She gave him nothing but a blank stare in return, which was promptly interrupted by a waiter;
"Commander Shepard, we were waiting for you! Let me take you to your reserved table."
Joker saw how the waiter ushered her away from him.
The table wasn't too far. The fact that she didn't turn around, and left as soon as she saw him, encouraged him, if only a little; 'At least she can stand being in the same room with me. That's a sign of improvement... I guess.' he thought dropping his head.
When he mustered enough courage to lift his head back up, and look in her direction, he saw a tall, incredibly fit, handsome man approaching her table. She shook his hand with a cordial smile, and invited him to sit down.
From then on, in between sips to his drink, he observed how the pair went from informal chatting to something that started to look more, and more like a date.
A bit of jealousy started to creep up on him which he immediately dismissed as ludicrous; 'It can't be a date.' he snorted; 'Everybody knows that Shepard is kept way too busy to have any spare time to tend to something as basic as sexual urges, let alone meet, and get to know some random, pretty faced guy.'
He even chuckled at the thought, but the last one died on his throat when he saw the man getting up from his chair, then he sat next to her.
He slept a hand around her waist and bent down to caress her neck with his lips.
'Who the fuck is this asshole? And why she's not pushing him away?' he screamed in his head.
For a split second, with his barriers lowered by the alcohol he felt the urge to go up to him, and punch him in the face. The only thing that stopped him was knowing that all the bones in his hand would shattered before he could inflict any considerable damage on the insolent man.
Emasculated and impotent, he felt the same helpless way he did when the first Normandy got destroyed.
Then it hit him; 'Does she even want to be saved?'.
Looking at the scene in front of him the answer was clear that she didn't. She was caressing the man's thigh from under the table, then slipped her hand under his unbuttoned shirt to graze his chest.
As if punched in the jaw, Joker spun around to face the bar and away from them.
Confused by the combined feelings of anger and arousal at seeing her under a, new to him, sensual light.
A female voice startled him; "That's it flyboy, don't you get any fucking ideas." Jack said to him.
"Jeez! Jack!" he said feeling his heart pounding on his chest; "Don't you know is impolite to sneak up on people?"
She laughed menacingly; "Yeah, because that's what I'm known for... being polite. Like I give a shit!"
She made a point of checking around him before saying; "I see that you forgot to bring your bot, sex slave with you today. I was about to say that maybe you left her chained to the bed, but you don't even have a bed, uh, bunk boy?"
Joker barked at her; "She is not a.."
Jack cut him off; "Save it! A: no one believes your 'in love' " she air quoted;" bullshit story, and B: no one cares."
She leaned back on the counter; "You know? You used to be this geeky, 'thinks he's funny', perv... I almost liked you. But now you're just a disgusting, little creep, and it takes a lot to disgust me. So I guess I have to give you credit for that."
"So, you just came here to deride me? Don't you have places to be... like away from here, preferably."
"Don't flatter yourself, I came just to make sure Shepard gets my present and who do I find in here that shouldn't be? The very last asshole she wants to see." she said getting on his face.
"I don't know what the fuck it is that you're getting at Jack." he highlighted her name to imply 'Jack-Shit'; "But for your information: not that I have to explain myself to you, " he said giving her attitude; " I was here before she showed up, and I didn't even know she was supposed to come here. And what the shit do you mean by present? I don't see you carrying anything, so quit bullshitting!"
"Shepard is right; you are an insensitive dick." she said pretending to be surprised.
Her words, revealing what Shepard though of him, stung him.
She continued; "For all you know, ass-hat, my gift to her could be a new tattoo, which I am planning to get by the way. But nope, today my present is sat right there with her." she pointed in the direction of Shepard's companionship.
An unexpected sobering chill run up his spine; "That's what you crazy girls call a gift nowadays: passing boyfriends around?" he said sarcastically.
She laughed heartily. Eventually, she managed to tell him;
"Friend, not boyfriend but not for lack of trying on his part. Ironically, he is the one with a boyfriend."
He widened his eyes.
She continued; "But I must confess that I did try him myself years ago, and I trust me when I say..." she rolled her eyes lustily while biting her lip; "He is the very fucking best! He's been begging me to introduce him to Shepard ever since someone tipped him off that I knew her." she shrugged; "Him and his boyfriend are lucky she accepted to meet them. But frankly the odds were stuck in their favor. The woman ain't blind, a picture of them is all it took for her to say; 'hell yeah', I believe it was."
Joker let out a mock laugh; "So, this is like your new pastime, or something? Should I start calling you; Jack the pimp."
She laughed, shaking her head; "That's rich coming from the guy that tried to turn Shepard into his wing-man."
His heart sunk when he heard her say that. He never thought about it that way. His own words echoed in his mind; 'What do you think about me and EDI.' And because asking once wasn't enough, he brought up the issue to her again, even after she expressed interest in him. He took his hand to his face.
Jack said; "Let me repeat that for you, just in case you're deaf on top of blind; wing-man. You do realize that's a woman." she pointed at Shepard.
She got closer to him and then added; "Listen to me you worm. Just because she's unlucky enough to be surrounded by a bunch of spineless, useless, won't put-out men in her life," she said it staring straight in his eyes; " that doesn't mean that she won't be catching the break she needs."
She leaned back on the bar counter; "Good job I'm around and looking out for her, uh?!" she gave him a contempt look; "I for one, won't be standing idly by while the poor girl drowns in stress, as her crew, and her so called friends " she looked at him up and down, wondering what the hell Shepard saw in him; " turn her ship into a swingers joint right under her nose."
When her eyes returned to his she added; "So this girl." she pointed at herself; "Is putting things right tonight, and that incredible woman over there, that helped all of us more than once is getting two presents from someone that actually gives a shit."
She turned her attention to her omni-tool; "Her second present should be arriving soon. He's been held up at his gym class." she said while checking her messages.
The more Joker listened to Jack, the more the whole scene was turning into his worst nightmare. He was speechless, there was absolutely nothing he could say to her. No snarky remarks, no sarcastic come backs. He got nothing.
Then he saw Jack lighting up, throwing her arms up the air she said to a man approaching the bar;
"Oh! But there he is!" she threw her hands around the perfectly chiseled man's neck and pecked him on the cheek.
"Very " she laughed teasingly in his ear; " nice to see you, sweetness." she grabbed his arm and pointed in Shepard's direction; "They're over there." she said biting her lip then swiftly slapped his firm butt; " Now go. Oh, and tell Shep that I've said hi."
The new man, walked towards the couple and gave the other man a quick kiss on the lips. Then he sat down to the vacant side of Shepard.
After a short introduction, an animated chat followed with drinks flowing. At one point the new man leaned over Shepard to French kiss his boyfriend, then they both encouraged her to join them.
"Oh yeah..." Jack said looking at the threesome; "She's gonna have some real fun tonight. About time that new apartment of hers got christened." then she spun around to face Joker once again; "And my job as fairy godmother it's done here." she glared menacingly at Jokers eyes; "I'll be sat over there keeping an eye on you, to make sure that you don't ruin this for her by being you."