For You I Will, a digimon fanfic

A/N: I'm just hoping my writing and imagination has improved. This would be so much easier if I got inspired more easily than I do. I did a different pairing than I'm used to doing… just because. I tried.

For You I Will

Wondering the streets, in a world underneath it all
Nothing seems to be, nothing tastes as sweet
As what I can't have
Like you and the way that you're twisting your hair
round your finger
Tonight I'm not afraid to tell you
What I feel about you

I'm a typical guy. A typical guy who happens to be kind-of-sort-of-getting-there famous musician. Do musicians have to have really deep thoughts? Do they like feeling the strings, the buttons, and the keys at their fingertips? Well, all from I know is that they have to be honest with themselves first, so their music comes out the exact same way. I let out a breath and I see the puff of smoke, my brain finally registering that it's freaking freezing outside… which explains why I'm shivering. I put my hands in my jean pockets and get off the store window I'm leaning on. It's dark, but it's not too late, so I assume that it's about to become winter soon. I don't know where my head's been these past few weeks. It's definitely been drowning in music 'cause that's the only place where I don't have to sing or say anything to express what I'm feeling. But, what am I feeling? Numb, for sure, but it's probably because of the weather. I try to deny what's been in my head. The real reason why my head is cluttered up and cloudy and—

"Matt?" I hear a familiar voice say. No fucking way.

I don't answer; I don't even turn my head towards her. But I'm not sure if it's because it's too cold to speak or because I can't.

I hear her steps coming closer to me, plays like drum beats.

She's right next to me. I can even hear her bangles ringing that play like guitar strings.

Her voice rings in my head… like a melody.

She's my music.

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
and cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will

I finally turn my whole body so I face her. I want to say it right then. But I can't. I can't give in so easily. Is this how weak I've become?

Is this how weak she's made me?

We stand there in silence for a moment that feels like forever. But I take those precious moments, and really look at her. I look at her and I feel like this is the first time I've ever seen her. Her reddish-brown eyes give away her sincerity. It captivates me. The innocence and naïve person she is. Her hair is perfectly placed at her shoulders and her sweater doesn't look like its providing warmth as is should, considering I felt her shake a little, but it was meant like I wasn't supposed to notice. She absolutely dazzled me.

"What are you doing out here? It ridiculously cold," she asked curiously. Her eyes consisted concern. She waited patiently for my answer. I wanted my answer to be vague, so I couldn't give much away. But was that really gonna work with her? Probably not. Was it worth a try? Sure.

Forgive me if I stutter
From all of the clutter in my head
Cuz I could fall asleep in those eyes
Like a water bed
Do I seem familiar, I've crossed you in hallways
a thousand times, no more camouflage
I want to be exposed, and not be afraid to fall

"I-I've just been walking around, just thinking," I end up saying, looking back up at the navy sky… probably just because I don't wanna look at her eyes or else mine would give away that there's pretty much a whole lot more than that. Crap, I stuttered. Maybe I said too much? What the hell am I saying? I said less than ten freaking words to the girl!

She comes even closer to me, her arm is practically touching mine, and she looks up at the sky with me, maybe trying to find what I'm looking at. But the truth is, I'm trying to find what I'm looking for, too. "I almost didn't recognize you, you know. You seemed so…serene." I looked at her, but her face is still reaching up to the sky. "Not that you're never calm, I mean," she did a tiny smirk. "I'm just saying, in a good way, you looked different."

"Maybe 'cause I feel different," I say absentmindedly, still looking at her.

She turns slightly toward me, and a smile creeps on her face as she watches me watch her. Soon enough, she looks back at the stars. "So you plan on telling me what's wrong, or what?" she asks in a voice that seemed like she was dying to ask the question the whole time we were conversing. I chuckled a little.

"Just for you, I will."

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will
For you

We walk to a bench so we don't have to stand in the cold, at least. And the whole time, I've been debating in my head whether to tell her or not:

"She's leaving."

"Maybe she won't, maybe she'll stay for you."

"Maybe not."

"Just take the chance, take risks, why don't you?"

"Yeah, let's get my heart broken again, shall we? Let's repeat what happened last time with that other chick that freaking dumped you when she was the one who was cheating on you. And you knew, but what? You just loved her too much. You thought you could fix her."

"That was fate. She was meant to. You were meant to and so now, fate gave you her. Go for it."

"Just give up."

"Just go for it."

I sigh. I figured there were always three parts to your mind: the pessimist, the optimist, and the realist. I'm just wondering the realist part of my head went. I glance at her in front of me and she has a little bounce in her step that makes the corner of my lips turn up slightly.

If I could dim the lights in the mall
And create a mood I would
Shout out your name so it echoes in every room
I would

"I'm leaving in a couple of days…" she says to herself, but it was definitely meant for me to hear. "You're going to New York, right?" I choke out. She pauses, sighs, then replies, "Heh, yeah. It's unbelievable. I thought…" she trails off. "I thought so many things before I actually decided," she finished. The question is screaming in my head, but no matter how hard it screamed, she couldn't hear.

"If someone, anybody, asked you not to leave and stay, would you?"

She eyes get a tiny bit bigger, like she can't believe what she just heard. Heck, I can't even process in my head what the hell I just said. "U-uh…" she did a tiny smile, "I guess it depends, on how bad they want me to stay." She was silent for a moment. "I've been planning this trip for weeks… I wanted to get away from here, away from him."

She purposely emphasized 'him', meaning her ex-boyfriend who… well, broke her heart.

"But you helped me," she turns to me. "I thought I could never do several things again. I thought I could never laugh, never think straight, or never smile. And I didn't… for days."

I look at her; I want to say something so badly. I just don't know what to do, what to say.

"You did the impossible," she laughs.

That's when I smile, really smile. The most genuine smile I think I've ever done in a while. It was unbelievable the way she made me feel.

That's what I'd do, that's what I'd do to get through to you

"I really have to thank you, truly." She said with tears in her eyes. "I honestly don't know where I'd be if it wasn't for you to company me and take care of me."

I pull her into a hug. And her face is buried in my neck, but I don't feel anything wet on my neck, like she wasn't even crying. I can't even hear her sniffles or sobs. She's not crying. She arms slowly embrace me and we just stay like that. I feel invincible.

I could feel her heartbeat thumping against my chest. I could smell her hair that smells like sweet fruits. And that was that. I've had it.

I pull us apart gently, but our faces were only an inch apart. I look straight into her eyes and nothing else. I tell her firmly, "Mimi, I have a request." She looks a little shocked from the outburst, but she nods slowly, like she can't get away from the look in my eyes.

"Stay."

Her eyes become curious and surprised. Her mouth opens like she was going to respond back, but nothing comes out. So I continue speaking.

"I-I love you," I spit out. Wow, I actually spit out the 'L' word, not turning back now. "I don't want you to leave; I want you to stay with me."

She smiles, "for you, I will."