Disclaimer: I own nothing from the Doctor Who universe, and therefore cannot make money on writing like this.
You've been broken so many times you're no longer sure who the Doctor is.
Just a collection of fragments, crudely wrapped and hidden in a body.
You can no longer remember a time when you felt whole.
You never did.
Even back on Gallifrey, part of you was already out amongst the stars.
You ran and never stopped running, and that's how the cycle of loss began.
With a scared little boy.
Running from responsibility.
You never stopped, but it wasn't fair to ask that of your companions.
They always outgrew you. Grew up and needed to settle down.
The ones who didn't leave of their own accord were pushed away.
Each loss shattered you.
Left permanent fault lines running through you.
They never healed, they were just buried.
But it was the loss of Gallifrey that splintered your soul, that caused the cracks to run together into one that ripped you apart.
You screamed to block out the absence of thousands. Loved humans, never known Time Lords.
Humans say it's impossible to die from a broken heart. You died of two.
xxx
You stayed dead for years.
Your hearts beat and you breathed, but you didn't live. You existed.
All you wanted was to cease the pretence.
It was on one of the suicide missions, which you always survived, that you met a human girl.
You knew that she'd become just another weight in your heart, just another crack, just another regret.
But you still took her along. Now you had a reason to live.
You took her to see her planet burn. You had seen yours.
You built up a mask and felt secure enough to look over the top.
You met a shadow of your past. Old wounds reopened and pulled you out of your shell of the here and now.
But she still said forever and you still wanted to believe it.
You screamed when she left, so sensitive to such a familiar pain.
You'll survive; don't you always?
It's not like you haven't been broken before.
A/N: insert obligatory begging for reviews here